CHAPTER 5

Coming in out of the bright seashore sunlight Wesley squinted in the shadow of the hallway as he followed his uncle into the house. A woman was sitting at a table laid for two in front of a big plate-glass window that overlooked the dunes and the Atlantic Ocean. Her face was still a blur against the brilliance of the window, and for a moment he was sure it was his uncle’s ex-wife and he was sorry he had come. He hadn’t seen her since the day of his father’s death and he had spent a good deal of his time since then in trying to forget her. But then his eyes became accustomed to the light and he saw it was not Jean Jordache, but a tall woman with long, reddish-brown hair. Rudolph introduced her.

The woman smiled at him pleasantly and got up and went into the kitchen and came in with a tray with a glass and some plates and some silver on it and set a place for him. The smell from the big crockery pot on the table, mixed with the warm aroma of newly baked biscuits, was tantalizing. He had been on the road, hitchhiking, since seven o’clock in the morning and had walked the mile or two from the main road to the beach and had not had lunch. He had to swallow to hide the fact that his mouth was watering.

The woman was in a bathing suit and was deeply tanned and did not remind him of Mrs. Wertham. The clam chowder was delicious and he tried not to eat too fast. Alice fed him adequately, but she was so busy at the Time office that her meals were made up of odds and ends she picked up as she rushed home from work. The satisfactory memory of the feasts Kate used to prepare on the Clothilde was being engulfed in floods of tuna salad and cold roast beef sandwiches. He was grateful to Alice for her hospitality and he knew she worked hard both at the office and at her apartment, where she tapped away at her typewriter till all hours of the night, but her interests were not in the kitchen, and he couldn’t help thinking that she had better succeed with her writing as she would never earn any honors as a cook.

When he finished the chowder, accompanied by four biscuits, dripping with butter, Mrs. Morison insisted upon filling his bowl again and getting some more hot biscuits out of the oven.

“I guess I came at the right time,” Wesley said, grinning, as he finished the second bowl.

His uncle didn’t ask him any important questions over lunch, just how he had come out to Bridgehampton and how he had found the house. Wesley did not volunteer any information. He would answer questions when they were alone.

“We hadn’t planned on any dessert,” Mrs. Morison said, “but I think we can rustle up something from the icebox for a young member of the family. I have a son myself and I know about youthful appetites. I believe there’s some blueberry pie left over from last night and I know there’s some ice cream in the freezer.”

Wesley decided that he liked the woman and wondered if his uncle would have been a different man if he had met her and married her long ago, before the other one.

After lunch the woman said she had to be going and put on a beach robe. Rudolph walked out with her to her car, leaving Wesley alone in the house.

“God, he’s a handsome boy,” Helen said as she got into her car.

“Gretchen says he looks like a young prince in a Florentine painting,” Rudolph said. “She wants to try him out for a part in her movie.”

“What does he say?”

“I haven’t asked him yet,” Rudolph said. “That’s all we need in our family—a movie actor.”

“He did come at the wrong time, though,” Helen said.

“You’re right. The lunch was aphrodisiacal, as promised.”

Helen laughed. “There’s always tomorrow,” she said.

“What’s wrong with tonight?”

“Busy,” she said. “Undermining the Republican Party. Anyway, I imagine the boy wants to have a long talk with his uncle. He didn’t come all the way out here just for lunch.” She leaned over and kissed him and then started her car. He watched thoughtfully as she drove off, a woman with a purpose. He wondered if he ever again would have a purpose, sighed and went back into the house.

Wesley was standing in front of the big window, staring out to sea. “If ever I settle down,” Wesley said, “I would like it to be in a place like this—with a whole ocean in front of me.”

“I was lucky to find this place,” Rudolph said.

“Yeah,” Wesley said. “Lucky. Boy, that was some meal. She’s a nice lady, isn’t she?”

“Very nice,” Rudolph said. The description of his relations with Helen Morison and an appraisal of her qualities could wait until later. “Would you like to go for a swim? People keep leaving bathing trunks around and I guess I could find a pair that would fit you.” He knew he was looking for ways to postpone whatever problem Wesley had brought along to present to him. “The water’s pretty cold, but you’ll have the whole ocean to yourself.”

“That’d be great,” Wesley said. “A swim.”

They went out onto the deck and down the steps under it to the cubicle where four or five pairs of trunks were hanging. Rudolph left Wesley to undress and went out onto the beach.

When Wesley came out in the swimming trunks, with a towel slung around his neck, Rudolph walked with him to the edge of the water. Wesley dropped the towel to the sand and hesitated a moment before going in. He had sloping powerful shoulders, an athlete’s flat belly and long muscled legs. His face, Rudolph thought, was a refined version of his father’s face, but the body, although a little taller, was his father’s body. Maybe, Rudolph thought, as the boy suddenly started running toward the breakers, the water foaming around him, maybe Gretchen is right about him. He watched the boy plunge into a wave, then begin swimming easily through the waves and into the swell. Enid was still afraid of the ocean and only paddled cautiously near the shore. He had not tried to force her to be more enterprising. He was not going to be one of those fathers who, disappointed in not having a son, tried to make a daughter into one. He had known one or two of those overmuscled ladies and he knew that whatever they said about their fathers, they cursed them in their hearts.

Wesley kept going farther and farther out, until his head was just a small dot in the glittering blue distance. Rudolph began to worry. Was it possible that the boy had come out to see him for the sole purpose of drowning himself in his presence? His old uneasiness with his nephew, the feeling that at any moment the boy was likely to do or say something unpredictable, dangerous or at least embarrassing came back to him. If he only could have more than a few hours at a time with the boy, perhaps he could get over the feeling that the boy was constantly judging him, measuring him against some private, impossible scale of values. He had to restrain himself from waving and calling to the boy to come in. Abruptly, he turned and went back into the house.

Five hundred yards out, Wesley floated on his back, enjoying the sensual feeling of going gently up and down with the swells. He daydreamed, looking up at the unclouded blue sky, that Alice was there with him, that they sank under the surface, kissing, their bodies weightless and laced in the rolling water, to rise again to stare at each other’s faces, wet with the ocean’s tingle, their love announced on land and sea. The truth was that since the one kiss when he made her cry, they had not touched each other, and a new tension, a shy drawing back on both their parts, had changed their relationship, and not for the better.

But now, rising and falling in the gentle sea, he thought of Alice with a longing he wouldn’t dare confess to her—or to anybody else.

His father had told him that once when he was a young man he had made love to a girl while they were taking a bath together and that it had been an amazing experience. If it was amazing in a bathtub, what would it be like in the Atlantic Ocean?

If it had been his father on the beach he wouldn’t have dared go out so far because his father would have bawled the bejesus out of him for showing off and taking a chance like that, all alone, no matter how good a swimmer he was. “Take chances,” his father had said to him, “only when they mean something. Don’t do anything just for show or to prove to yourself how all around marvelous you are.”

He began to feel cold and turned and began swimming to shore. The tide was running out and he had to swim as hard as he could to get to where the waves were breaking. He rode in on a wave, tumbling in the curl of foam. He pulled himself to his feet on the smooth sand and got up to the beach. He stood there, drying his face and torso with the towel, looking out at the ocean going off to the horizon, with not a ship in sight. Whatever I finally do, he thought, I am going to end up with the sea.

Dry and dressed, after a shower in the cubicle, he went up to the deck and into the house, carrying his jacket over his shoulder. His uncle was talking on the phone in the living room. “… if he hasn’t swum all the way to Portugal by now,” he heard his uncle saying. His uncle smiled at him. “Wait a minute,” Rudolph said into the phone. “He’s just walked in. Looking a little waterlogged.” He extended the phone toward Wesley. “It’s your Aunt Gretchen,” he said. “She’d like to say hello.”

Wesley took the phone. “How are you?” he said.

“Busy,” said Gretchen. “I’m glad you finally turned up. I’ve been trying to reach you for months. Where’ve you been?”

“Here and there,” Wesley said.

“Listen, Wesley,” Gretchen said, “Rudolph’s driving into town early tomorrow and meeting me. Can you come with him? I’m dying to see you. He’ll explain why.”

“Well …” Wesley said. “He hasn’t asked me to stay all night.”

“Consider yourself asked,” Rudolph said.

“Okay,” Wesley said. “I’ll try to make it.”

“Don’t just try,” Gretchen said. “Make it. You won’t be sorry.”

“Do you want to talk to Rudolph again?”

“No time,” Gretchen said. “Good-bye, honey.”

Wesley put down the phone. “You sure I’m not fouling up your evening?” he asked Rudolph.

“On the contrary,” Rudolph said. “I’m looking forward to it.”

“She said you’d explain something to me,” Wesley said. “Is there anything wrong?”

“No. Sit down. Let’s make ourselves comfortable.”

They sat across from each other at the table in front of the window. In the strong light the changes in Rudolph’s face were most noticeable. The broken nose and the scar above one eye made him less frosty and distant. His uncle’s face, Wesley thought, looked used now, more human. For the first time, he thought, his uncle looked unmistakably like his father. Until now he had never seen the resemblance between the brothers. “They must have given you quite a going over,” he said, “those two guys.”

“It’s not too bad, is it?” Rudolph said.

“No,” Wesley said. “I kind of like it. I guess I’m used to busted noses. It’s more homelike.” The reference to his father was easy and natural and they both laughed.

“Gretchen was after me to have it operated on,” Rudolph said, “but I told her I thought it gave me character. I’m glad to hear that you agree.”

“What’s that about explaining …? On the phone …?”

“Oh, I wrote you she was trying to put together a movie, didn’t I?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, she’s finally got everything squared away. She starts shooting in about a month. For some reason,” Rudolph said lightly, “she thinks you’re a beautiful young man.…”

“Oh, come on,” Wesley said uneasily.

“Whatever. There’s no accounting for tastes,” Rudolph said. “Anyway, she thinks you might be just what she needs for a certain part and she’d like to try you out.”

“Me?” Wesley said incredulously. “In the movies?”

“I’m no judge,” Rudolph said, “but Gretchen knows a great deal about pictures. If she thinks so …”

Wesley shook his head. “I’d like to see Gretchen again,” he said, “but I won’t do anything like that. I have a lot of things I have to do and I don’t want to waste my time. I also don’t want people walking up to me in the street and saying I recognize your face, Mr. Jordache.”

“Those would be my sentiments, too,” Rudolph said, “but I think it would be more polite to listen to Gretchen first before you say no. Anyway, they wouldn’t say Mr. Jordache. In the movies they change everybody’s name, especially if it’s one like Jordache. They’d tell you nobody would know how to pronounce it.”

“That mightn’t be such a bad idea,” Wesley said. “Changing my name, I mean. And not just for the movies.”

Rudolph stared soberly at his nephew. It was a strange thing for the boy to say. He half understood it, but it troubled him, he wasn’t sure quite why. Time to change the subject, he thought. “Tell me,” he said, “what have you been doing?”

“I left home,” Wesley said.

“You told me on the phone.”

“By invitation,” Wesley said. “I didn’t tell you that.”

“No.”

“My mother,” Wesley said. “I guess you could say we just didn’t get along. I don’t blame her. We don’t belong in the same house together. In the same world, maybe … Has she been bugging you about me—about the warrant and all that?”

“That’s all been arranged,” Rudolph said.

“I suppose by you.” Wesley sounded almost accusing.

“The less said about it the better,” Rudolph said lightly. “Incidentally, where have you been all this time?”

“A lot of places,” Wesley said, evasively. “In and out of New York a few times …”

“You didn’t let me know.” Rudolph tried not to sound aggrieved.

“You have troubles enough of your own.”

“I might have helped.”

Wesley grinned. “Maybe I was saving you for when I really needed help.” Then he became grave. “I was lucky. I found a friend. A good friend.”

“You look well,” Rudolph said. “Almost prosperous. That’s a nice suit you’re wearing.…” It suddenly occurred to him that perhaps Wesley had been taken in by somebody who was using him for some shady undertaking, picking up poor girls at the bus terminal and turning them over to pimps or acting as a courier for a drug dealer. Since his beating, New York had taken on a new and sinister aura for him, a hunting ground where all were victims and no one safe. And a young, inexperienced boy wandering penniless around New York …“I hope you’re not into something illegal.”

Wesley laughed. “No,” he said. “At least not yet. It’s somebody up at Time Magazine. A lady. She helped me when I came to New York looking up the dope on my father. I thought maybe she could help me with finding some other people who knew him. Addresses, things like that. They seem to know everything about everybody up there. I guess she was sorry for me. Anyway, my hunch was right. She put me on a lot of trails.”

“Did she buy you that suit?”

“She loaned me the money,” Wesley said defensively. “And she picked out the suit—a couple of other things.”

“How old is she?” Rudolph had a vision of an ancient spinster, preying on country youth, and was disturbed by the thought.

“A couple of years more than me.”

Rudolph smiled. “I guess anything under thirty is okay,” he said.

“She’s got a long way to go to thirty.”

“Are you having an affair with her?” Rudolph asked. “Excuse me for being blunt.”

Wesley didn’t seem hurt by the question. “No,” he said. “I sleep on her couch. She calls me Cousin.”

“I’d like to meet the young lady.”

“You’ll like her. She’s awfully nice,” Wesley said. “She really did some digging around for me.”

“Whom did you talk to?” Rudolph asked curiously.

“Four or five people, here and there,” Wesley said. “Some good, some bad. I’d rather keep it all to myself, if you don’t mind. I still have some thinking to do about it—see if I can figure out what it all means.”

“Do you think you know your father any better now?”

“Not really,” Wesley said soberly. “I knew in general he got into an awful lot of trouble when he was young. I just picked up a few facts about the kinds of trouble. Maybe I admire him more for turning out the way he did after a start like that—I don’t know. What I do know is that I remember him better. I was afraid I would start to forget him and I didn’t want that. This way,” he said earnestly, “he’s with me all the time. Inside my head, sort of, almost as if he’s there talking to me, if you know what I mean.”

“I think I do,” Rudolph said. “Now—what did you really come for—?” With a little laugh, “Aside from lunch.”

Wesley hesitated. “I came to ask you for a favor,” he said, staring down at the table. “Two favors, actually.”

“What are they?”

“I want to go back to Europe. I want to see Kate and her kid. And Bunny. And Billy Abbott. I’d like to see how the other son in the family survived. And a couple of other people around Antibes. I’m not at home in America, somehow. I haven’t had a good day since I came here.” His voice was too passionate to make it sound like a complaint. “Maybe that’ll pass, but it hasn’t yet. You once told me that the lawyer in Antibes said he thought in a year or so he could arrange for me to be let back into France. I was wondering if you could write him and … well, see what he can do.”

Rudolph stood up and paced slowly toward the fireplace. “I’m going to be blunt again, Wesley,” he said. “Have you told me your real reasons for wanting to go to Europe or—” He stopped.

“Or what?” Wesley asked.

“Or are you thinking of looking up the man your father had the fight with?”

Wesley didn’t answer immediately. Then he said, “The thought may have crossed my mind.”

“That would be foolish, Wesley,” Rudolph said. “Very foolish. And very dangerous.”

“I promise to be careful,” Wesley said.

“I hope I don’t have the occasion to remind you of your promise,” Rudolph said. “Now, what’s the other favor?”

“This is harder,” Wesley said. Now he stared out to sea. “It’s about money. I won’t be eighteen for another year, when I get my share of the inheritance. I thought if it didn’t press you too hard, you’d lend me say a thousand dollars and I’d pay you back on my eighteenth birthday.…”

“It’s not the money,” Rudolph said, although he couldn’t help thinking that somehow money was involved in almost every decision he had ever made—in paying Wesley’s mother off to get a divorce, in helping Gretchen start in her new profession, in achieving his own reconciliation with Wesley’s father, in his move to where he was living now, on the shores of the Atlantic, because of the few dollars and change in his pocket when he was ambushed by the two men in the hallway of his house in New York. Even in getting Wesley out of jail because the wily old lawyer in Antibes could be paid his handsome fee in the numbered account in Switzerland. “No, it’s not the money,” he repeated. “It’s your future I’m thinking about.”

“I’m thinking about my future, too,” Wesley said bitterly. “I want to be in France on my eighteenth birthday, when I have to register for the draft. I don’t want my future to be a grave in Vietnam.”

“That could be arranged, too, without leaving America,” Rudolph said, going over to the boy and standing at his side and looking out with him at the sea. “I wrote you about the Merchant Marine Academy …”

“I remember,” Wesley said. “It sounded like a good deal.”

“How are you in mathematics? That’s important for getting accepted.”

“Pretty good,” Wesley said. “It comes easy to me.”

“That’s fine,” Rudolph said. “But you have to be a high-school graduate. And be recommended by a congressman. I’m sure I could manage that. And …” He was struck by a sudden idea. “You could come here and live with me—it’s not a bad place to live, is it?”

“No. It’s great.”

“Frankly, I’d like it very much. I think you’d be able to say that you finally had some good days in America. You could finish high school here. That is, if your aunt doesn’t make a movie star out of you.…”

“Don’t worry about that.”

“By the time you got out of the academy, the war is bound to be over. It has to end sometime.”

“Who says?” Wesley said.

“History,” said Rudolph.

“I haven’t read that particular book,” Wesley said sardonically.

“I’ll find it for you. You don’t have to make up your mind right away. Meanwhile I’ll write the lawyer. Is that fair enough?”

“Fair enough,” Wesley said.