As we galloped down to the Underworld, my darling Persephone talked on and on about plans for our wedding. How I admired her! We had been engaged only a few moments, yet the event was already fully formed inside her lovely head.

Charon taxied us across the Styx. This time I was glad to pay the extra fare for Persephone, my queen-to-be. Once on the other side of the river, we went straight to Villa Pluto.

“I have an idea, Hades,” Persephone said as we pulled up in front. “Let’s invite a few friends over tonight for an engagement party.”

“A, uh, party, my dear?” I swallowed. I’d never had a party at Villa Pluto. I’d never had a party anywhere, for that matter. But Persephone looked so excited about the idea. How could I say no? “What a wonderful idea, my beloved!”

Persephone gave me a hug. “I’ll take care of everything!” she said, and she ran into the palace.

I took my steeds to the stable and handed them over to my ghostly grooms. I was too much in love to deal with the usual demands of ruling the Underworld that afternoon, so I headed over to the Cyclopes Village. I wanted to tell Uncle Shiner the big news myself.

On the way to see my uncle, I stopped by one of my caves. Like all my Underworld caves, its walls were studded with gold, silver, and jewels. I pried what I thought was a large, yet tasteful, heart-shaped diamond from the wall, then hurried on to the Cyclopes’ blacksmith forge. There I found my uncle hammering a piece of bronze to make a new doorknob for the courthouse.

“Uncle Shiner!” I called over the noise of the bellows.

He raised his safety uni-goggle. “Hades!” he exclaimed when he saw me. He put down his hammer, threw an arm over my shoulder, and we walked outside together.

“I am delighted to see you, nephew,” Uncle Shiner said. “Tell me, what is the reason for this unexpected visit?”

“I have news, Uncle Shiner,” I said. “I’m getting married!”

Uncle Shiner’s eye opened wide. “Well! Congratulations!” he said. “Mazel tov! And what is the name of the fortunate goddess who shall become your bride?”

“Persephone,” I told him. “The goddess of spring.”

“We could use some spring down here,” he said, smiling.

As we walked, I told him about Persephone’s lovely eyes and how good she smelled and how flowers sprang up in her footsteps. We sat down on a bench beside Lethe, the Pool of Forgetfulness.

“And how long have you been courting Persephone?” Uncle Shiner asked.

“I haven’t exactly courted her, Uncle Shiner,” I said. “I only met her the day before yesterday.”

“Ah,” he said. “So it was love at first sight.”

“Not at all,” I said. “I mean, I thought she was cute when I first saw her. But then she tricked me into giving her a ride down here, and it really made me mad.”

“Tricked you, eh?” Uncle Shiner chuckled.

I nodded. “It wasn’t until this afternoon that I fell in love with her. We were having a picnic. It was very sudden.”

“Sudden?” Uncle Shiner blinked.

I nodded. “It just hit me. Bam! I was in love.”

“Huh.” Uncle Shiner seemed puzzled. “Well, love is unpredictable.”

“Wait until you meet her, Uncle,” I said. “She’s wonderful.”

Then from the pocket of my robe I drew the heart-shaped diamond. I asked Uncle Shiner to make a ring for Persephone and to bring it to our engagement party that night.

“I am honored that you have asked me,” Uncle Shiner said. “I shall make a beautiful ring to hold this diamond for the future Queen of the Underworld.”

That night, I put on my best robe. I felt so proud as I strode into the candlelit ballroom with Cerberus at my heels. The palace was packed with Underworld types. I spotted di Minos’s crown in the crowd. Who’d invited him? There was Campe, the Underworld Jail Keep. She sat on the big couch in front of the fireplace, chatting with the Hundred-Handed Ones and the Cyclopes. When Uncle Shiner saw me, he hurried over and handed me the ring. It was a beauty.

The serving ghosts circled with platters of little hot-underdogs on toothpicks and goblets of chilled champagne—Underworld Bubbly, CDLVI B.C. (Before Cronus).

The Furies arrived late. They always liked to make an entrance in their party clothes—red leather minirobes and sandals with real snakes for straps winding around their legs.

When I saw that everyone at the party had a drink in hand, I went over and stood beside my darling goddess of spring. I clinked my goblet.

“I have an announcement!” I said.

The guests murmured, then grew still.

“Greetings, Underworldians,” I said. “I’m glad that all of you could be here tonight to hear my great good news. Persephone—” I gestured toward her with my goblet—“and I are engaged to be married.”

Everyone gasped with surprise.

“I hope this will make it official.” I slipped the diamond onto Persephone’s finger.

When she saw the ring, Persephone squealed so loudly that she nearly deafened me.

Then all my friends started clapping and cheering. The Cyclopes congratulated me and slapped me on the back. The Hundred-Handed Ones did the same, which took a while. I’d never seen the Furies so delighted. They buzzed around Persephone, talking shoes and veils and gowns.

Everyone was celebrating. Everyone except Cerberus. But I saw that Uncle Shiner had squatted down next to him and was patting him consolingly. My good Cyclops uncle. What would I do without him?

Persephone flitted excitedly from guest to guest, showing off her ring. At last she came over and gave me a little peck on the cheek.

“I’m so happy, Hades,” she said.

“Me, too,” I told her.

“I have to tell Mom the good news!” Persephone unzipped her purse and took out her phone.

I had a bad feeling about that call. “Persephone, my pet . . .” I began.

But she had already punched #I on the memory dial.

“Mom?” Persephone said. “Hi!” She listened for a moment. “No, I’m not out of money again,” she said. “I have some really great news. Hades and I are getting married!” Persephone listened again. Then she said, “You’re immortal, Mom, so it can’t be over your dead body.”

That didn’t sound good.

Persephone kept listening and saying things like, “He did not!” and “No! Of course not!” At last she said, “I don’t know where you’re getting your information, Mom, but it’s totally wrong!” She hung up then and turned to me. She did not look happy.

“Uh-oh,” I said.

“Mom says she’s going to get Zeus and the rest of the Olympians,” Persephone said. “She’s going to lead them all down here to rescue me.”

“Rescue you?” I was stunned. “That seems a little over the top.”

“I know,” Persephone agreed. “She seems to think you’ve kidnapped me.”

“Who, me?” I said. “A kidnapper?”

Persephone nodded. “Mom thinks I’m being held here against my will.”

What was going on? Maybe getting married had been a sudden decision. I could see how it might take Demeter some time to get used to it. But accusing me of kidnapping? She knew me better than that.

The Furies rushed over to Persephone. They swarmed around her, telling her not to worry.

“That’s right, my darling,” I said, taking Persephone’s hand in mine. “In fact, let’s get married now—tonight!”

But Persephone shook her head. “Oh, Hades,” she said. “No goddess wants a spur-of-the-moment wedding!”

“No?” I asked. It seemed like a perfectly good idea to me.

“No,” Persephone said firmly. “I’ve always dreamed of a big, splashy wedding, and I want to invite everyone from Mount Olympus.”

The idea of the Underworld filled with Olympian wedding guests filled me with dread. But I was so in love with Persephone that I was willing to endure even that. “Then,” I said, “we must have just such a wedding.”

“But a big, splashy wedding takes planning,” said Persephone. “And Mom and the rest of the Olympians will be here in only nine days. We can’t pull off what I have in mind that fast.”

Now Tisi stepped forward. “Of course we can,” the Fury said. “Nine days from today, Persephone—the moment the Olympians arrive—you and Hades are going to have the biggest, splashiest wedding ever held in the universe!”

Persephone gave a little squeal of happiness. She opened her arms and threw them around the Fury.

“When your mother sees your gown,” Tisi went on, “and how we’ve decorated for the wedding, she’ll know you haven’t been kidnapped.” She smiled, and her fangs gleamed in the candlelight. I had a feeling that planning this wedding was her way of making it up to Persephone for tricking her.

Just then, Uncle Shiner tapped me on the shoulder. “Hades,” he said, “might I have a word with you?”

I nodded and followed him outside onto a ballroom balcony. Cerberus tagged along.

“The ring is a work of art, Uncle Shiner,” I told him. “Thank you.”

The Cyclops nodded. “Hades,” he said, “are you sure you know what you’re getting into here?”

In truth I had been wondering, just the teeniest bit, how my life would change after the wedding. I was used to being on my own. I had my dog for company, and I was set in my bachelor ways. I liked ordering pizza for dinner. And kicking back in front of the TV to eat it while I watched wrestling. Now Persephone would always be at my side. She didn’t like pizza. And it was sort of hard to picture her beside me kicked back in a matching La-Z-Goddess, watching wrestling and rooting for the Cyclops. What would married life be like?

“Hades?” Uncle Shiner’s voice jolted me out of my thoughts. “What I’m asking is, how well do you really know Persephone?”

“Well enough to know she’s the goddess of my dreams,” I said.

Cerberus whimpered when he heard this.

“You say it was very sudden,” Uncle Shiner went on, “the way you fell in love with Persephone?”

I nodded. What was he getting at?

“Did you by any chance see Cupid anywhere near the spot where this happened?” asked Uncle Shiner.

“Yes!” I said, amazed at Uncle Shiner. Out of all the gods in the cosmos, he had picked the very one we saw! “He was the first god we told of our engagement.”

I could tell that Uncle Shiner had more to say to me, but just then Persephone rushed out to the balcony.

“There you are, Hades,” she said. “You’re missing our engagement party! Come inside. You, too, Shiner. Hypnos is about to make a toast.”

But my uncle shook his head. He stayed out on the balcony. And for the first time ever, Cerberus didn’t follow me. He stayed on the balcony with Uncle Shiner.

* * *

The next morning, I was sitting in the kitchen drinking my nectar cappuccino and reading the Underworld newspaper, The Hot Times, when all three Furies showed up. They weren’t big on breakfast, but had come to tell me that they were taking a week off to help prepare for the wedding.

“But what about the wicked?” I asked. “Who will hound them while you’re away?”

“Don’t worry, Hades,” said Meg. “We’ll avenge on weekends for a while to make up the time.”

Over the next three days, Tisi convinced everyone to pitch in and help with the wedding. She was determined that when the high and mighty Olympians arrived, they would be dazzled by the wonders of the Underworld.

Persephone asked the Furies to be her bridesmaids. Alec stitched up the bridesmaids’ dresses, and Meg made a wedding gown for Persephone. The Hundred-Handed Ones sewed on thousands and thousands of tiny pearls in practically no time at all.

Tisi ordered something called a toga-tux for me to wear. “It’s the latest thing from Rome,” she said. “It’ll look great on you, Hades.”

King di Minos volunteered to cater the wedding feast. Uncle Thunderer worked in the forge to make an extra-long metal table for the wedding supper. Uncle Lightninger offered to take the wedding pictures. My gardener, Cal, said he’d do up the asphodel, whatever that meant. I drove Persephone over to Elysium so she could personally ask Shades of Purple to play at our wedding reception. They said they’d be delighted.

All the plans seemed to be falling into place. It made me feel good to think that everyone in the Underworld was looking forward to the wedding and to having Persephone become their Queen.

Well, not everyone. Uncle Shiner didn’t volunteer to help with anything. And I’d never seen Cerberus so down. When he walked, his heads drooped so low that his chins nearly scraped the ground.

“Snap out of it, Cerbie,” I said when I saw him slouching by one morning. “Come on, dog. I’ll throw the discus with you for a while.”

As he followed me glumly out of the palace, who should be coming up the walk but Uncle Shiner. Cerberus perked up and wagged his tail when he saw the Cyclops.

“I’d like a word with you about Persephone, Hades,” said Uncle Shiner.

I didn’t like the tone of his voice. “Can’t it wait until after the wedding, Uncle Shiner?”

“It most definitely cannot,” said Uncle Shiner.

“Can it wait until after a little game of discus?” I asked. “I promised Cerbie.”

Uncle Shiner shook his head.

I sighed. “All right.” I sat down on the palace steps. “Out with it, Uncle.”

“Hades, my boy—” Uncle Shiner began.

But that’s as far as he got, because at that instant Tisi appeared.

“Hades?” she said. “We have a problem.”