“Is it Persephone?” I asked, jumping to my feet. “Is she all right?”

“She’s fine,” said Tisi. “But she needs help. Come on. I’ll explain while we drive.” She grabbed me by the arm and began pulling me down the front steps of the palace.

To tell you the truth, I wasn’t all that sorry to have my little talk with Uncle Shiner interrupted. “Come, Cerberus!” I called. “Let’s go!”

But Cerberus sat down beside Uncle Shiner. He clearly wasn’t into helping Persephone.

“I’ll take care of him, Hades,” Uncle Shiner offered.

With a wave of thanks, I hurried after Tisi to my chariot. A minute later, we were galloping toward the Underworld Mall.

“Persephone is at the pizza parlor with di Minos now,” Tisi said.

“A bit early for pizza, isn’t it?” I asked.

“She’s not there for pizza, Hades,” Tisi said. “Di Minos has set up a table in the asphodel in the front of his restaurant. His waiters are bringing Persephone samples of the food he wants to serve at the wedding banquet. But Persephone says that the menu is all wrong.”

“Uh-oh,” I said. I’d had a feeling this might happen. The whole time Persephone had been in the Underworld, she’d refused to eat anything but the food she’d brought down in her picnic basket.

“Di Minos keeps telling her to taste the food,” Tisi went on. “His waiters are down on their knees, begging her to try just one teensy bite.”

“And will she?” I said.

“Take a guess.” Tisi sighed. “She’s a lovely goddess, Hades, but as stubborn as a mule.”

We reached the mall. Tisi and I hurried around to where the table had been set up in front of di Minos Pizza. Nearby, I saw Cal clipping an asphodel hedge into the shape of a swan. I had to smile. So this was his way of getting the Underworld ready for our wedding!

Persephone was sitting at a long table with many platters spread out on it. Di Minos and his waiters stood before her, coaxing her to eat.

“Try an asphodel cheese puff!” di Minos coaxed. “You’ll like it! Come on! One bite won’t kill you!”

“I’m immortal,” said Persephone. “Nothing will kill me. But that puff stuff looks gross, and I’m not eating it.”

Di Minos glanced over and saw me coming. “Hades!” he cried. “For once, I’m glad to see you. Listen to this menu!” He began pointing to various dishes. “For starters we pass around asphodel cheese puffs, asphodel-stuffed olives, and asphodel chips with pomegranate dip. Delicious!” He kissed his fingertips and opened them in the air.

“Then the guests sit down, and we serve them cream-of-asphodel soup. After that come the grilled asphodel burgers. The finest! Served with mashed asphodel root and sautéed asphodel greens. And for dessert? A seven-layer asphodel strudel! You tell her, Hades. This is a banquet fit for the gods!”

“It sounds good to me, Persephone,” I said.

My bride-to-be gave me such a look. “Asphodel, asphodel, asphodel, Hades!” she said. “Asphodel strudel is not a wedding cake!”

“Well, asphodel is our major crop down here, beloved,” I said.

“Taste the strudel, Persephone,” added Tisi. “Really, di Minos is a genius with asphodel.”

“What do you say, Persephone?” I asked.

My darling looked at me and then at Tisi, di Minos, and the waiters.

“I . . . I guess all of you who have lived in the Underworld for a long time are used to eating asphodel,” she said, her voice unsteady. “And it’s true, I haven’t tasted it. But to me, it just looks really, really icky. I know it’s important to serve Underworld-grown food,” she added, with a glance at Tisi. “So I was thinking . . .” She turned to di Minos. “Maybe you could do something more with the pomegranates?”

Di Minos shrugged. “A little pomegranate sorbet to go with the strudel?”

“That’s a start,” Persephone said. “Now, let’s lose the strudel and—” she stopped midsentence. Her eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open.

The rest of us turned to see what she was staring at. There, tramping through the asphodel, was Demeter. Behind her were Zeus, Hera, Poseidon, Hestia, Hermes, Aphrodite, Cupid, Apollo, Artemis, Dionysus, and more—the whole gang from Mount Olympus!

I closed my eyes. I hoped I was having some sort of weird pre-wedding hallucination. But when I opened them again, there they were. My nightmare had come true. My kingdom was being invaded by Olympians!

But how had they gotten down here so quickly? It hadn’t been nine days since Persephone had phoned home. It had been four days at most. Then I spotted Hermes, all decked out in a shiny new winged helmet and sandals. There was my answer. Obviously Demeter and Zeus had bribed him to reveal my shortcut through the cave. What a traitor!

Demeter’s eyes shone with a crazed gleam as she led her army of Olympians straight toward me. “Hades, you daughter-snatcher!” she cried. “How dare you kidnap my Persephone?”

Before I could say a word, Persephone shouted, “Mom, stop! I came here with Hades because I wanted to. He didn’t kidnap me!”

Demeter narrowed her eyes. “But Zeus said—”

“Zeus!” I growled, turning to my little brother. “You myth-o-maniac! Why would you make up such a ridiculous lie?”

When Zeus stepped forward, I saw that he’d grown a bit paunchy. They never showed his gut on The Zeus Show. “You know you kidnapped her, Hades,” Zeus said with a smirk. “You might as well confess.”

“Confess?” I felt my face growing hot. “I’m guilty of no crime!”

“I have a witness,” said Zeus. “Helios, the sun god. He was in the sky at the time, and he saw you grab her.”

“He couldn’t have,” I said. “Because I didn’t.”

Zeus shrugged. “It’s your word against his.”

My eyes searched the crowd of Olympians. “Where are you, Helios?” I called out. “Accuse me to my face!”

“Helios isn’t here,” said Zeus. “You know the sun can never leave the sky.”

“That makes him a convenient witness, doesn’t it?” I scoffed. “One who can’t show up.”

Zeus could never make the kidnapping charge stick. But why was he trying to keep me from marrying Persephone? The old myth-o-maniac had to have something up his sleeve.

“I’m staying here, Mom,” Persephone was saying. “And Hades and I are getting married!”

How glad I was to hear her words! “That’s right,” I said, stepping up to my goddess and putting my arm around her. “We’re getting married. And,” I added, hoping to change the direction of this conversation, “you’re all invited to the wedding!”

“No, Hades!” cried Demeter. “You can’t keep the goddess of spring imprisoned down here in this, this . . .” she gestured toward the asphodel, trying to find a word for it. “This muck,” she said at last. “Persephone must walk upon the earth and make blossoms burst forth from the soil! She must—”

“Mom!” Persephone cut in. “Stop!”

Demeter turned to Zeus. “Tell them, Zeus. Tell them what you, the all-powerful Ruler of the Universe, promised me. That I could take Persephone home.”

“That’s what I said,” Zeus agreed. “Demeter gets to take Persephone out of the Underworld.”

“No, Dad!” said Persephone.

Dad? Zeus was Persephone’s father? Aha! Maybe that was why Cerberus didn’t like her. I shouldn’t have been surprised, though. My little brother was really into building the Zeus Dynasty. He’d managed to become father or grandfather or uncle or brother to just about every god and goddess alive.

“Why do you always take her side, Dad?” Persephone was saying. “I am not six years old anymore! I want to have my own life!”

“Calm down, Persephone!” Zeus ordered. “I wasn’t finished proclaiming yet. You interrupted me. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Hades! Listen up! You can’t accuse me of being unfair. No way! Because what I was about to say was that Demeter can take Persephone out of the Underworld only if . . .”

Zeus paused, grinning wickedly. He waggled his eyebrows up and down.

Ohh, this was such typical Zeus behavior, keeping us in suspense for as long as possible. How I wished this were The Zeus Show! Then, with a click of the remote, I could turn him off!

Zeus said if about a hundred times. Finally he finished: “. . . if she has not eaten any food that grows in the Underworld.”

“What?” I cried. How had he managed to pick this of all the ifs in the universe? Then from somewhere behind me, I heard di Minos mutter, “And believe me, she hasn’t!”

Aha, again! Di Minos had told Zeus about Persephone not wanting to eat any of the food down here. Now Zeus was using this as a way to keep me from marrying Persephone. Was I about to lose my bride over di Minos’s asphodel strudel?

“Persephone, my dear,” Zeus was saying, “no doubt the time has come for you to marry. But don’t marry Hades. You need a worthy husband—one who lives in the fresh air and sunshine of Mount Olympus. My son Hermes, for example.” He gave a nod in Hermes’s direction. “He will make you an excellent spouse.”

Fury rose up inside me as Hermes blew Persephone a kiss. The miserable little thief! He was trying to steal my bride!

But now I understood what Zeus was up to. He wanted Persephone to marry one of his sons so he could keep the goddess of spring, and spring itself, under his control. Well, I’d fight Zeus and Hermes both if I had to. They couldn’t take Persephone away from me!

“My daughter would never eat the food of the dead!” Demeter declared. “The very name Persephone means ‘picky eater.’”

“Mom?” said Persephone. “I have something to tell you.”

“Come, Persephone,” Demeter said. “Together, you and I shall return to earth and make it bloom!”

“Listen, Mom,” said Persephone. “This morning—”

“Come, Daughter!” Demeter called. “Return with me to the earth!”

At that moment, Cal stuck his head up above his swan-shaped hedge. “Excuse me?” he said. “I can clear this all up.”

All the Olympians and all the Underworldians grew quiet.

Zeus pulled himself up to his maximum height, which, without his platform sandals, wasn’t all that tall. “And who would you be, hedge clipper?” he thundered.

“I’m Ascalaphus,” he answered. “Gardener of the Underworld. You can call me Cal.”

“And what do you have to say, lowly gardener?” asked Zeus.

“That she gets to stay,” said Cal.

“What?” cried Zeus.

“I’ve been pruning these hedges since what passes for dawn down here,” Cal began. “I saw Persephone cut through the field. Fresh asphodel blooms sprang up in her steps.”

“Get to the point, clod buster!” cried Zeus.

“She got to the sample table early,” said Cal. “The waiters had just put out the first two bowls of what the king here calls ‘starters.’”

“He means the asphodel chips and pomegranate dip,” di Minos put in.

“That’s them,” said Cal.

“So?” thundered Zeus. He rattled his Bucket o’ Bolts. “What of it, soil grubber? If you don’t get to the point soon, I’ll heave a thunderbolt your way!”

“She ate some, is what I’m saying,” Cal said.

“Myth-o-maniac!” cried Demeter. “Persephone would never!”

“She did,” Cal insisted. “I saw her do it through a hole in the hedge.”

All eyes turned to Persephone.

“Speak, goddess!” said Zeus. “Did you eat the food of the dead?”

“Yes,” said Persephone. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. The dip was excellent!”

“Ha!” cried di Minos. “I knew you’d like it!”

Demeter threw herself to the ground. She started pounding it with her fists. “NOOOO!” she wailed. “I cannot lose my daughter to the Underworld!”

“Mom, get up,” said Persephone through gritted teeth. “You are being so embarrassing!”

Demeter was way past caring about that. She raised herself, but only to her knees. “Nothing shall grow on the earth!” she cried, shaking a fist in the air. “Nothing! I swear it by the River Styx! As long as Persephone remains in the Underworld, THE EARTH SHALL WITHER!”