It’s me again, Hades. You know, Lord of the Dead? Ruler of the Underworld? Right. That Hades.

If you’ve read any of the Greek myths, then you know that my little brother, Zeus, is Ruler of the Universe. But did you know that Zeus is also the Biggest Liar in the Universe? He lies about his weight. He lies about his height. He even lies about his sandal size. He is a total myth-o-maniac (old Greek speak for “big fat liar”). So is it any surprise that Zeus’s version of the myths is a pack of lies?

Take The Big Fat Book of Greek Myths, for example, the latest selection from the Big-Fat-Book-of-the-Month Club. The stories are all about mighty, monster-slaying Zeus. Powerful, thunderbolt-hurling Zeus. Handsome, irresistible to-goddesses Zeus. Zeus is always a hero. And who is eternally cast in the role of bad guy? The sulky, bad-tempered brother banished to the Underworld? Three guesses: Hades, Hades, Hades.

Just take a look at what Zeus did to the story of how I met my bride, Persephone. I swear, he made the whole thing up just to make me look bad. Go on, read it for yourself!

Total poppycock! Persephone wasn’t out picking any flowers. She was running away from her overprotective mother. And I never grabbed her. She hitched a ride to the Underworld!

I couldn’t stand it that everyone who read the myths would think of me as some sort of kidnapper. That’s why I wrote my own book—to tell the world the truth. So here’s the real deal on how I met Persephone and how she became my part-time Queen of the Underworld.