WHAT IT IS The ultimate tongue-twister
WHY YOU WON’T DO IT This is not a challenge that’s easily licked
In 2011, American reviewer David Orr published a book about poetry entitled Beautiful & Pointless. He might have been talking about the art of touching your nose with your tongue. The only possible use of this unusual skill is if you are an overenthusiastic eater prone to getting food on your snout. But it’s still a talent worth cultivating – if only for the hours of amusement it could bring to you and others …
If you have a nose that you can extend at will, you should either see a doctor as soon as possible, or head for Las Vegas to make a fortune with your own show (they love that kind of thing in Sin City). The only other alternative is that your name is Pinocchio and you’ve been telling rather too many lies. Anyway, if you fit into this category, touching your nose with your tongue will be a breeze. For the rest of us, it’s all about clever manipulation of the tongue.
You can do some regular training by sticking your tongue out as far as it can go, and holding it there to a count of ten. Legendary England goalkeeper Peter Shilton used to hang from bannisters in his childhood in the hope of stretching his arms: this kind of training is the oral, or rather lingual, equivalent.
When you’re ready to attempt this remarkable challenge, stick out your tongue and make a point at the tip (a drum roll is optional at this point). Experts recommend that you next bring your top lip down over your top set of teeth. Now use your lower lip to bend the tongue towards the nose. Inch the tip forwards until you establish contact with the tip of your schnozz. Try to stay relaxed during the whole process – success lies in maintaining calm control, and not getting into a stew – a tensed-up tongue is no use to anybody.
Some practitioners like to rehearse in front of a mirror. If the tongue is almost there but needs a little encouragement, you can consider gently using your finger to guide it to its final destination. But in the interests of hygiene, make sure your hands, face and mouth are all clean before you start.
Regardless of how much effort they put in, however, some people are simply not physiologically designed to achieve this particular feat. At some point, you may have to walk away and admit defeat, but at least you can be content in the knowledge that you gave it your very best shot.