College Applications, Round One

Most due Monday after Thanksgiving and

I’ve hit Send on a few already, like

my first choice, U of Chicago.

But what does it matter?

U of C or Berkeley,

good schools for math,

UW–Madison,

the school Andy’s hoping for;

his whole family’s gone there.

I glance over at him

hulking on the floor

next to my bed

controller in hand

playing an old-school game.

                      “We could live together,”

                      he says, eyes glued to the

                      screen. “You’d bring the PS3,

                      —I’d bring the Xbox.

                      “We wouldn’t have to worry

                      about sharing a room

                      with some weenie.”

I want to pause Mortal Kombat

shout, puke, something—

the thought of rooming with anyone …

What if he knew

about trans-thuggy me?

What would he do?

I can’t see

next year at all

and really,

why bother thinking ahead?

I’m a freak and my future

is        totally            screwed.

I take a shot,

push my kill streak to five,

lean back.

“Sounds good,” I say.

And I’m sorry the game is over.