FUCKINGHAM PALACE

Screenplay by Tabitha Von Swine

Sexy sixteenth century period piece serves up eviscerating conversations, tantric set-pieces, and sumptuous costumes. While not explicit, sexually charged lesbian chamber drama brings the heat. Lording over everyone in court, Anne Boleyn fails to please her royal husband Henry VIII (struggling with gout) while Anne’s lascivious lover Priscilla (the bride of Sir Thomas More) whispers in the King’s ear about the threat of Prussia. Henry VIII is hilarious, a walking hard-on with an insatiable appetite for mutton. Then, a new rival for Anne’s affection emerges: the omnisexual maid Abigail, who instigates bedroom wars that threaten the crown. Anne seals her doom taking on Abigail, a trollop with viper’s instincts who heals Henry’s gout, massages his legs (and more), poisons Priscilla, and convinces Henry VIII to chop off the Queen’s head. It ends very badly for Abigail, who’s banished to a slimy Paris brothel. Tantalizing material. Worthy of top talent. A royal romp*.