JITTERS

Screenplay by P.T. Sparks

Dark romantic comedy apes Pretty Woman without the humor, charm, and universal appeal. Unpleasant characters, bitchy dialogue, yet a tight structure keep things moving. Implausible tale has aspiring restauranteur Oscar falling for a black stripper on the eve of his loveless marriage to Sophia. Put on a subway train unconscious, wearing a ball gag, black leggings, and dressed in a negligee by his groomsmen, Oscar wakes up (no wallet, no memory how he got there) in a Bronx pigsty with the bachelor party stripper Rwanda, a heroin-addicted prostitute who agrees to help him get to his wedding for three thousand* bucks. After enduring a string of grim ordeals to get to the Plaza Hotel, instead of saying “I do” at the altar, Oscar follows his dream to open up a restaurant in California with Rwanda at his side. Premise of a guy falling for his bachelor party stripper is given an unexpectedly gritty flavor. However, the writing doesn’t sparkle and the story is mostly a flat line. Low point of the tale is when Rwanda prostitutes herself to pay for their plane tickets; at the wedding, she meets Oscar’s lecherous father-in-law and it turns out he’s the john who hired her. Call this one Runaway Groom.