5 DAYS/6 NIGHTS

Screenplay by Isaac Mazzola

Manipulative piece of romantic fluff fails to pull off its Castaway concept, needs a rewrite more than a life preserver. UTERUS magazine publisher/militant feminist Janine Roth dumps her self-absorbed tennis pro beau only to be trapped in the Caribbean with cocky pilot Freddy Galdiaz after their propeller plane crash lands on an uninhabited island. Predictable sparks and character-history conversations follow, with the pair constantly arguing, reluctantly copulating, trapped in the blue lagoon until their rescue, and return to the deserted isle a year later for their shotgun wedding. Dialogue is unspeakable. Worst scene is when Freddy and Janine read aloud and answer highly personal questions from her own magazine’s Cosmo-type sex questionnaire. Not funny*. Maybe if these two idiots were given a volleyball or some clever lines, we might want to watch them fish, fight, and figure out a way off this island. Think of the violence of Swept Away, picture Phyllis Diller and Don Rickles stranded together, and you get the idea of this irritating script.