CALI’S UNCERTAINTY AND hesitancy haunted Pete. He saw the pain in her eyes. After helping her into her trailer, he stood at the door, hand on the knob. Cali moved slowly, one hand raised to the bandage on her temple.
Once she was safely inside, Pete didn’t want to leave her. He felt welded to the ground, and words came flying out of his mouth. “What else can I do for you, Cali?”
Cali hesitated, then murmured, “A hot bath, Pete. Can you turn on the water for me? It hurts like hell to bend over. I feel like my head’s going to fall off.”
Heartened, he closed the door and said, “Sure, no problem. A hot bath solves a lot of problems.”
Moving down the carpeted hallway, Cali whispered, “Yes, it does. Thanks, I really owe you.” Something deep within her responded to his enthusiastic reply. Now that she was alone with him, she didn’t want him to leave. It was a stupid feeling, but Cali didn’t have the strength to fight it. Just having Pete near was salve to her tattered emotional state. He gave her hope that someday she’d be her old self once more.
“Did the doc give you pain meds?” Pete wondered as he lingered at the bathroom door. She was even more pale, if that was possible. He wished he could stop all her pain.
“He gave me morphine derivative drugs, but I hate taking them because they will knock me out cold.” Her mouth tensed as she pushed open the door to her bedroom. “I just think I overdid it today. If I take a hot bath, relax and then hit the bed, I think I’ll feel fine in the morning.”
“Sounds like a good prescription to me,” Pete murmured. “Let me get your bathwater started.” Even doing something so trivial for Cali made him feel useful. He didn’t want to look too closely at these bubbling feelings of euphoria. Just having her back immeasurably improved his mood.
Due to the throbbing pain in her head, Cali’s movements were slow and disjointed. Normally, she could shimmy out of her boots, jeans and tank top in a matter of seconds. Not today. Just hearing the water running in the tub made her yearn for the warm, relaxing liquid.
There was so much Cali wanted to discuss with Pete, but she didn’t dare. Every time she talked, she could hear her voice echoing oddly in her left ear. The doctor had told her she might have some hearing loss or changes due to the blow by Kabir. Damn. Cali had found out from Logan on the flight here that Kabir had been picked up in the village where he lived and taken into custody. Right now, Sheik Hesam had him in jail in Dara-i-Suf, and he would stand trial for his attack on her in the next few months. That suited Cali just fine.
With much fumbling and frustration, she was able to wrap herself in her bright green organic-cotton robe, which hung around her knees. She padded down the hall, the nubby texture of the carpet feeling good beneath the soles of her feet. Pete emerged from the bathroom just as she arrived. Her heart leaped at the intense, burning look he gave her, before quickly hiding the expression. Her body responded automatically. She felt heat flowing from her toes to her head and then settling deep in her abdomen.
“Good timing,” he murmured. “How are you doing?” Even though she was frail, he couldn’t help but notice every lush curve of her body was there for him to ache for. Pete swallowed hard and forced his hands to remain at his sides.
“I feel like hell warmed over, Rough Rider.” Consternation flowed through her. Now where had that nickname come from? She was too exhausted to explore the question.
Chuckling, Pete stepped aside. He liked the endearment. Like Teddy Roosevelt, the original Rough Rider in the Spanish-American War, engineers in their business were always out on the front lines in third world countries. Preening silently over the name, Pete said, “Come on in. The water’s ready. I poured a little bit of apricot bubble bath in there for you.”
He marveled over the way the soft green fabric fell across Cali’s womanly form. Her breasts were full and pressed against the material. Looking back up at her face, he saw darkness mixed with pain in her eyes. Even so, the urge to kiss those pursed lips was nearly his undoing. Cali’s freckles stood out starkly against her pale skin. Without thinking, Pete lifted his hand and gently touched her wan cheek.
“Listen, if there’s anything else you need, call me.” Why had he reached out like that? Oh, God, why couldn’t he keep his hands to himself? Pete felt a pang of guilt stab his heart. He shouldn’t have touched Cali. He shouldn’t. And yet she looked so lost and helpless. He wanted to protect her somehow….
Cali’s skin tingled hotly where his work-roughened fingertips had feathered across her skin. Her surprise over his caress made the pain in her head momentarily subside. Or had Pete’s unexpected touch been a healing one? Unsure, Cali whispered, “You’ll be the first to know, Pete. Thanks. You can expect me back at HQ tomorrow morning—just like before.”
“Only if you’re feeling better, Cali. I can run this place with Logan and your foreman, Ray Billings. Just get rested up. Please.” Turning, Pete forced himself to leave before he became emotionally dismantled around Cali. He strode down the long hall. Oh, he’d seen the flare in her emerald eyes when he’d spontaneously grazed her cheek. How badly he wanted to lean over, embrace her gently, pull her to him and kiss away all her pain. A burning ache glowed hotly in his lower body.
If he had his way, he’d stay and help her bathe, gently dry her off, take her to her bed and then lay there holding her while she slept. Maybe that’s what needing a person meant. Pete wasn’t sure. Cali was pressing buttons in him no woman had ever hit before. Maybe needing someone made him more compassionate, rather than just lustful. This was all new territory for him.
He let himself out of Cali’s trailer. The day was still hot, the wind like a blow-dryer. The site was a beehive of activity, the constant noise and movement soothing his fractious, distracted state over Cali’s condition. As he climbed back into his Tundra to drive to the concrete plant and check on repairs, Pete’s hope grew. Cali had come back early. She’d wanted to be here. Was it because he’d said he needed her? Or because of her sense of duty to the site and her father’s company? Though unsure, Pete decided to let happiness lift his spirits without analyzing it to death. Two days without Cali in his life had been pure, unadulterated hell.
As he drove slowly down the dirt road toward the hopper assembly, his mind worked feverishly to figure out a way to see Cali—alone. Without her brother around. Something wild and free was pushing him to do it, and he was helpless to stop it.
“HEY,” PETE CALLED to Cali from the back of his gray Arabian gelding, “how about lunch up in the hills today?” His heart raced with anticipation. He told himself it was okay to do this, that this was a pleasurable way to conduct business.
“A picnic?” she asked, grinning. She couldn’t help but notice how handsome Pete locked in casual civilian clothes. The dark green baseball cap on his head shaded his narrowed eyes. She was both excited and terrified to be alone with him.
“Sort of an unofficial welcome back. A business lunch between supervisor and project engineer.” Pete pointed to his saddlebags. “I had Javad make us some beef sandwiches, round up some sweet pickles, a bag of Frito-Lay’s and chocolate pudding for dessert. Interested?” He relished her look of surprise and the glow of health in her face. After two weeks, the bandage had been taken off her head. Red, glinting hair covered most of the scar that had been left in its place. She seemed to be healing, at least physically.
“Do I need a horse?”
“Nope. Climb up behind me. You’re headache free now and I know how you like to ride. The sheik’s men have already cleared the way for us. They’ve made sure there’re no Taliban lurking where we’re going. We’ll ride over to that little creek flowing down the side of the hill near the western gate. There’s some nice shade there, a few tough old olive trees we can sit under.” Lifting the saddlebags, Pete added, “You can carry the food over your arm.”
“A business lunch, huh?” She’d alternately hungered for time alone with Pete, then wanted to avoid him altogether. Parker seemed to sense her vulnerable state and was acting like a bad cold. He’d grated on her exposed nerves since her return to the site. Emotions still swinging widely, Cali had never before had to ride such a daily roller coaster. On top of her internal chaos, Pete’s words about needing her whispered her to sleep every night.
Logan seemed to sense her bond with Pete and was acting like a big bad guard dog. The first week after her return from the hospital, Cali had worked mostly from her trailer, catching up on mountains of paperwork, while her brother took over site demands with Pete in the field. Every time Cali had tried to dodge Logan to see Pete, her brother insisted on coming along.
Pete extended his hand to Cali now and removed his foot from the stirrup so she could mount up behind him. She was incredibly athletic, swinging easily into position. The Arabian danced nervously, and Pete pulled the horse to a halt. Cali took the saddlebags from him, then wrapped one arm around his narrow waist. Her breasts felt good against his back. Pete absorbed the intimacy between them like a thief. Turning the horse toward the hills, he said, “Ready, kemo sabe?”
“Ready, Rough Rider. Let’s hightail it out of Dodge.”
Laughing, he nudged the gray gelding into an easy lope. The late May wind moved around them, hot and dry. The Arabian snorted with each stride, neck arched, ears shifting alertly back and forth.
“This was a creative idea, Pete,” Cali exclaimed. Oh, how she loved moving in synch with him. Keeping his back erect and strong, Pete flowed forward naturally with each movement of the cantering horse. The breeze fanned her face and lifted her hair against her neck. Unaccountably, Cali’s depressed spirits rose. Pete was like sunlight to her since the kidnapping.
“Then you aren’t going to worry what the workers think?” he teased, guiding the horse through the gate. The guards smiled, raised their hands and waved.
“Not today,” Cali said, waving back at the sentries. Maybe she’d been through too much. Maybe she needed this unexpected time alone with Pete. Feeling needy and vulnerable, Cali had yearned for his presence. And so often, he would miraculously show up wherever she was, as if knowing she wanted, needed his strength.
Cali saw the narrow trail that led down into a small pasture. Often, boys with sheep or goat herds came to this oasis for water. Today, there was no one around. Five olive trees hugged the green banks of the small creek, where ice-cold meltwater cascaded. Compared to the heat of the desert plain, it was indeed a Garden of Eden. Cali had often wanted to come to this place and eat her lunch, but never had time to do it.
Reaching their destination, she slid off the horse and stepped away. The grass was cropped short, courtesy of the sheep and goats, and resembled a nubby velvet carpet. Pete dismounted with grace and placed hobbles on his Arabian’s front legs. After removing the bridle, he hung it over the horn of the saddle.
“Come on,” he coaxed, excitement in his tone.
“You did reconnoiter? Right?” A shiver of dread wound through Cali as she warily looked around. Pete had assured her earlier all was safe, but her nerves jangled. Because of the kidnapping, she hated going outside the perimeter fence. It gave her a sense of safety she desperately needed, and she rarely ventured outside.
Pete slowed his stride so she could keep up with him. “It’s safe here, Cali.” He heard the fear and trepidation in her tone. And when he saw her looking around, as if afraid she might be attacked, Pete knew these were elements of PTSD she was experiencing. “I’ve been wanting to come to this place for a long time. Especially in the summer, when it’s so hot out there on the plain.”
He and Cali walked down a slight incline toward the grassy bank. Pete could see multicolored rocks beneath the clear, bubbling water. The olive trees provided welcoming shade from the strong sunlight.
“I’ve wanted to come here, too,” Cali told him. Silently, she breathed a sigh of relief. They were safe here. No one was going to jump them.
When Pete gave her that boyish smile of reassurance, she felt her pulse speed up. Taking the leather saddlebags from her arm, he led her to where the trees converged in a shady triangle. “Have a seat.”
Cali settled down on the springy grass. Her tension began to bleed off by degrees. After all, she was with Pete, and he represented protection. She watched as he knelt down in front of her and opened the first saddlebag. He pulled out a bottle of white wine, an opener and two paper cups.
Cali reached out and took the chilled bottle. “Drinking on the job? Some business lunch.” Giving him a teasing look, she opened the bottle.
“Ordinarily I wouldn’t drink during the day, but this is a special celebration, Cali. This looks like great chardonnay.”
“You’re bending the rules, Mr. Owner.” In a way, Cali didn’t mind. Perhaps she should, but it wasn’t in her heart to protest right now.
He watched her pour the golden wine into the awaiting cups. “Sometimes business rules need to be bent a little here and there. This is one of those days.” Pete wanted to add that having Cali back at the site was a celebration of life unlike anything he’d ever experienced. But he couldn’t.
Cali recorked the bottle and set it aside. “I follow the rules set by the owner.” When Pete handed her a cup, she held it up to him. “Here’s to us.”
“Us?”
“Why not? You helped save my life out there.” Her voice shook with feeling. “And if this is a way to celebrate doing that, then I’m all for it.”
“You saved yourself, Cali. We just happened to arrive in the middle of your escape. Even without us, I know you’d have managed to get home to us alive.” Pete touched her cup with his and took a long sip of the fruity wine.
“Mmm, nectar from the goddesses of Mount Olympus,” Cali purred, relishing the cool drink. Any mention of the kidnapping brought back a stomach-numbing fear that she tried to avoid.
“Especially good on a hot day like this,” Pete said. Setting his cup aside, he sat down and crossed his legs. From the second saddlebag, he pulled out sandwiches, sweet pickles and a plastic bag of corn chips.
“I can’t believe we’re here,” Cali said, unwrapping her sandwich as she slowly looked around and absorbed the beauty of the place.
“I wanted to wait until you felt better. Logan seemed pretty intent on guarding you.” Pete smiled over at her.
“Yeah, my big brother…”
“Was he like that when you were growing up?” Pete asked, then took a hungry bite of his beef sandwich.
“Logan is protective of women in general.” She sighed, appreciating the crunchy sweetness of a pickle. “And I think that’s what landed him in hot water with Sue, his ex-wife.”
“Oh?” Pete met her thoughtful green gaze. He loved how the fitful wind lifted strands of her hair. After a year, they were finally alone. Together. There was such a guilty pleasure in being with her. Pete was helpless to fight the warm feelings flowing through him, touching his lonely soul.
“Yeah, Logan was firstborn. He was charged with taking care of the three of us. I’m glad I didn’t get to be first. Sometimes he’d suffocate you with his presence, thinking he knew what was right for you.”
“I see trouble on that one,” Pete murmured, sipping more of his wine. They sat side by side, less than six inches separating their knees. The fragrance of the grass, the crystal water splashing across the stones all conspired to make him relax for the first time since Cali had been kidnapped.
“Bingo. He wouldn’t let Sue be herself, let her escape from his considerable presence. They were married five years. She finally told him she wanted out, that she felt like a prisoner.”
Nodding, Pete watched the play of sunlight and shade across Cali’s tousled hair. Her eyes were bright. This was the healthiest she’d looked since her ordeal. But he knew she hadn’t fully healed. He had seen her grappling with her emotions. There had been times when Cali lost her temper at the site, or flared unexpectedly at one of her coworkers, which wasn’t like her at all. Logan had said Cali was suffering from PTSD. And that was something Pete knew a little bit about. They would all need to be patient and supportive. “No one likes to be crowded like that,” he quietly agreed.
“I know,” Cali said, sounding sad. “Logan cared so damn much, but I think he believed being protective was the same as loving someone. And it isn’t.”
“Sometimes you can be too protective and it turns the other person into a weakling. That’s not good,” Pete commented.
“Not that I’m an expert on love. Hell, all my relationships crashed and burned, and it wasn’t because I was being like Logan. I have my own unique set of problems.” Did she ever. Russ Turner haunted her, and now she had a new obstacle that would make a romantic relationship that much more difficult.
With a groan, Pete said, “I’m guilty of that, too. I haven’t had one good relationship yet. I’m beginning to think I’m cursed or have a black cloud hanging over my head.”
Cali held his frustrated gray gaze. “Why is that, do you think?”
“I honestly don’t know, Cali.” Pete finished off his sandwich and sipped more of the wine. “I’ve discussed it with my parents—that’s how bad off I was. Not that I figured it all out.”
“What was your mom and dad’s conclusion about your relationship issues?”
“My mother said I just hadn’t met the right woman yet. That I was learning about relationships just like everyone else did—by going through many of them.”
“And how would you know this special woman from the rest?” Cali finished her sandwich and nibbled on some of the salty Frito-Lay’s. Right now, Pete looked incredibly relaxed. His eyes were light and filled with warmth—toward her, she thought. That scared and lured her simultaneously. Her wounded emotions screamed at her to open up to him, to be vulnerable and available. Yet the terror of intimacy, of having this turn into another fiasco like the one with Russ, warred violently within her.
“Mom told me I’d dream about this woman, or in the middle of the day, even when I’m busy, she would automatically pop into my head. And that every time I thought of her or pictured her face, my heart would swell with such happiness I’d feel like I was going to explode.” Pete sipped the last of the wine and put the cup aside. Holding Cali’s interested gaze, he added, “And when we were apart, I’d feel like I’d lost my other half. I would hear her voice in the breeze around me and hear her laughter in the tumbling of a brook. Mom said that when I was in love with the right woman, all these things would happen.”
“That’s beautiful, Pete.” Cali wondered if any man would ever see her that way. She was a hard hat. A woman in a man’s world of steel and concrete. Sadness filled her heart as she sat there realizing that no one would ever likely see those possibilities in her.
Pete held her gaze. His voice dropped to a rasp. “Cali, I know things have been rough for you since the kidnapping. You’ve struggled daily since your return. I’d like to help you if I can.” Something shifted. Cali felt it. As if Pete’s husky, emotion-laden words had just unlocked the key to her heart that had been a prisoner for so long.