My horrific childhood.
The Happy Family. Mum and Dad plus Andrew, me in the middle, and Mark. The great thing about Dad is how we could all relax around him.
With our Labrador, Ben, in the Golf Club kitchen.
‘What one is aiming for,’ says Jeeves to Bertie Wooster on the matter of the ideal length of trouser leg, ‘is a casual break just above the instep.’ Mum and Derek’s wedding day.
Mum and Derek moving into the bungalow. Mum is definitely doing some kind of ‘it’s a great new start’ pose. Derek joins in by making the paintwork look intriguing.
With Mum in the bungalow. Phil Collins at the ready.
Dada (grandad John) with Andrew and me. For some reason, Nan and Auntie Trudy had a drawer full of wigs. On New Years’ Eve, we would put them on and take photographs, natch.
Wearing my Zorro costume made for me by Nana Webb. My private view at the time was that the lovingly stitched letters in yellow elastic were a mistake. Did Nana go around wearing a top saying ‘Nana’? She did not. Still, I managed not to complain and I see now that the ‘Zorro’ is the best thing about the whole outfit.
With Mark, Dad and Andrew. The mistletoe on the doorframe explains Dad’s presence in the bungalow. Mum will have insisted on the photo while not necessarily encouraging Dad to take his coat off.
With Dad during one of his self-employed ventures. He was a coal merchant in the mid-eighties.
The real reason for the comedy revues was to get Tess Rampling to have sex with me. This is not Tess Rampling.
The view from my bedroom window when I moved back into Slieve Moyne. Taking moody pictures was more fun than revising for A-levels.
Chesney Cherry, parked at Slieve Moyne exactly where I’ve been asked to park it. Judging by the windows, Chesney will be too cold to start today. One can’t possibly expect Chesney to start every day.
First year room at Robinson College. I’m sorry to see that I’ve taken down the sign saying ‘Je suis une Communiste’. You’ll just have to take my word for it. To the right of the wall calendar, a picture sent from Anna-Beth, aged about five.
‘Robert has to be different’. With Andrew (left) and Mark (right) on my graduation day.
There was no telly in that dressing room so the artist found his own way to pass the time. Let’s Dance for Comic Relief, 2009.
With Mark Heap, Stephen Fry and Carrie Fisher following a performance of Jeeves and Wooster in Perfect Nonsense at the Duke Of York’s Theatre, 2014. © David M. Benett/Getty Images.
