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Kate woke on the couch with Vivi’s cordless phone next to her ear. Before she fell asleep, she had tried calling all the airlines to get a flight out, but once again the snow prevented any available seats.
Everything was gray around her. Even from the couch, she could feel the blustery day. The rawness outside penetrated its way in as the freshly fallen snow whipped around, biting at the window. The shrilling wind drowned out the waves she longed to hear.
Then the image of Matt holding his ex-wife flashed through her head.
She immediately sat up and reached for the remote. She noticed a chill in the air as she tried turning on the television to check the weather, but it didn’t turn on. As she stood up, she wrapped the quilt around her shoulders and stuck her hand under the lampshade, twisting the switch. Nothing. She walked into to the kitchen. All the clocks were blank. The power must have gone out while she was sleeping.
She looked out the kitchen window at the driveway. The minivan was covered in snow. The road didn’t even seem to have been plowed yet. Even if she wanted to get a flight, she was completely snowed in.
She couldn’t believe this was her life.
She walked back to the living room. Her journal sat on the coffee table. All her new lists and plans. All her righteousness. I am woman, I don’t need a man, notes. Her fake monologue of believing in herself and making her own happiness saturated those pages.
One by one, she ripped the pages from the binding, crumpling them up and throwing them into the fireplace. All her hopes and plans for the future crushed into tiny balls.
Was it so bad that she wanted to have it all? The career, and the guy, and the happily-ever-after? She opened the side table drawer where Vivi left the matches and lit the red matchstick. She stuck the match underneath the papers. Sulfur stung her nose as she watched her dreams go up in flames.
As soon as the flames took hold, so did Kate’s regret. She grabbed the burning paper from the flames and pulled out what she could before it caught. She blew out the embers that hung on, burning her hand and dropping the papers onto the wood floor. The flames quickly died, and she tried flattening the crumpled paper, tears streaming down her face as she willed them back to life, but only a few pages were salvageable. The rest were bits and pieces of blackened paper and ash.
Was this how she was going to live from now on? Wanting to burn the past, but too chicken to face the future?
As the wind howled, Kate could just make out the sound of the waves, but she had no use for their soothing repetition today. She looked down at the empty journal. Torn fringes edged the binding and she stared at the blank pages before her.
Kate took the burnt rubble and the pieces of ash and threw it all in the fireplace. She was no longer going to sit and wallow. She would not fall apart. She was not broken because she didn’t have a man, because she didn’t need one. Cinderella wasn’t real, and neither was true love.
And she was going to live au pif, but by her darn self.
***
MATT WAITED AROUND the bakery until nine-thirty before he decided to head over to find Katie. He wouldn’t risk going out on the water with the storm still lingering. Hauling pots wasn’t a risk he was willing to take, especially with Katie.
He kept calling Vivi’s house, but the number wasn’t working. Like his parents, she must’ve lost power in the night. The longer he waited, the more concerned he became.
“Frank,” he said, pulling his collar up before stepping outside, “I’m headed over to Katie’s. Will you tell her to wait here if I miss her?”
“Sure thing.” Frank said.
Even with four-wheel drive, the roads were a mess. He should’ve just gone to the house first and checked on her. He knocked on the front door, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he stood in the cold. The snow had tapered off, but the plow hadn’t come yet, and from the looks of the streets around town, it would be awhile.
He waited, then hit the doorbell, but he didn’t hear anyone inside. He checked his watch, trying to figure out what to do. With his hands covering his eyes, he peeked through the side window, but didn’t see anyone. Where was she?
He’d leave a note. He made his way toward his truck and pulled out his phone. He’d text his friend Dan to be sure to swing by Vivi’s with the plow.
Just as he opened his truck’s door, he heard the garage door being manually opened. As it lifted up, Katie’s feet emerged, and then he saw the rest of her. Once again, his breath was swept away. She didn’t see him at first, grabbing a shovel and stepping out into the driveway.
When she did see him, she stopped, but then averted her eyes as she headed to the heap of snow on her car.
Matt shut his truck’s door and walked toward her. Glad to see she was home and alright. “Good morning.”
Katie didn’t say anything. Instead, she walked past him and shoveled the snow behind the minivan. Something was off. He could feel it right away. Was she ignoring him?
“I have a plow coming to take care of the driveway, but it’s going to be a while before someone comes,” he said. He patted his jacket pockets for gloves, but he’d left them in his truck. “Got another shovel?” He wished he’d thrown one in the back of his truck before leaving. “I can help.”
She didn’t respond, but appeared to put more effort into digging out the snow. Then as quickly as she started, she staked the shovel into the ground before stomping back toward the house. She came back with a broom and dusted off the snow piled on the roof. What was going on with her?
When finally she looked at him, her eyes were narrow, almost suspicious.
He decided he’d rather be shoveling than standing there and looking like a fool. He grabbed the shovel and started to dig when she stomped over and said, “Stop. I don’t need your help.”
Matt straightened up and leaned his weight on the shovel’s handle. He was equally amused and confused by what was happening. “Well, it appears you’re bent on getting your car out.”
“I don’t need anyone to help me.” She brushed the broom’s bristles against the back window, spraying Matt with the fresh powder.
The snow melted against his face as he wiped it off. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She stomped toward him again and swiped the shovel from his hand. “Perfect. Now if you don’t mind, I have things to do.”
Having lived with enough women in his life, he knew what fine meant. Matt couldn’t wrap his head around what was wrong. Did he do something, or say something to upset her? Because she was anything but fine. When he left last night, things seemed good, really good. Now it was as if she couldn’t stand the sight of him.
“Are you upset with me?” Wasn’t she the one who blew him off this morning? “I came to tell you we shouldn’t go out on the boat.”
She huffed. “Figures, you’d cancel.”
“It’s not really the perfect day for a boat ride.” Matt held up his bare hands, making an obvious gesture at the snow.
She twisted her face before she said, “Why don’t you take Justine instead?”
“What?” Matt was taken aback, shocked by her use of his ex-wife’s name. Either he was in the twilight zone, or she had gone completely mad.
She returned her attention back to cleaning off the van, getting nowhere fast.
“What’s going on, Katie?” Matt knew two things. Something had happened between last night and that morning, and he was the object of her contempt. “What’s making you so upset?”
Fire burned in her eyes as she threw the shovel down, sinking it into the snow. “Did you plan on taking me home before or after you saw her at the Tavern?”
He thought back to the night before. He had tried so hard to behave nonchalantly in front of Justine and Freddy. As though being around his ex-wife and the man she slept with for months during their marriage was no big deal. He guessed he was more transparent than he thought. But how did being uncomfortable around his ex-wife have anything to do with her being upset?
“I’m sorry if you were uncomfortable.” He stepped closer, but she instantly backed away.
“I saw you.” She seethed the words through her teeth. “I saw you two together.”
Matt ran the night through his head. They had dinner, went to the play, grabbed a drink at the tavern, he walked her home, and then they kissed. Which he thought was great, really great. “Wait... did you come to my place last night?”
“When you two were together.” Katie grabbed the shovel and began to dig around the buried vehicle.
He shook his head. “We were just talking.”
“Must’ve been quite the conversation.” She picked up the shovel.
“Let me just explain,” he said. He replayed the scene with Justine. Her hug. “It’s not what you think.”
“I think you should leave.”
“If you had stayed one second longer, you would’ve seen that—”
“I would’ve seen what I should’ve seen from the beginning.” She stabbed the shovel into the snow.
“I promise you it’s not what you think.” He couldn’t believe Justine had messed things up again.
“You’re just like all the other guys.”
Matt felt her insult, and became equally annoyed. He wasn’t like the others. Not to Justine, not to his family, and certainly not to her. “You were the one who stopped whatever was happening last night, remember?”
“I would’ve never started had I known you had other intentions.”
“What intentions are you talking about? I didn’t ask Justine to stop by.” Matt held his hands in the air. “You know what? I don’t need to explain myself to you.”
“That’s so typical,” she hissed at him as he walked away. “You don’t owe anything to anyone. You only think of yourself.”
He turned to face her. “Who are you talking about?” He waited for her to answer, but she said nothing. “Who are you really mad at?”
As she stood there, he could see tears well up in her eyes. He had crossed a delicate line, even with her being as obnoxious as she was.
“Nothing happened between Justine and me.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets as she stood mute. “But this isn’t about Justine or me, is it?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her eyes narrowed.
“Why didn’t you ever call me back all those years ago?” Matt had wanted to ask this question for years.
“What?” She shook her head. “Are you serious right now?”
“Absolutely serious,” Matt said. “You just kept me hanging on, waiting for you. You didn’t even have the balls to break it off.”
“I was a kid.”
Matt was disappointed in her answer. “You used me back then, and you used me now, to get over your fiancé.”
“I wasn’t using you.”
“Then why didn’t you call me?” Matt held her eyes. “What? Is a fisherman not good enough for you?”
“If you wanted us to work out so badly, then why didn’t you come to Minnesota and visit me?”
“You never asked me.”
Katie’s mouth opened, but she closed it again. She stood in the middle of the driveway, not saying a word, but there was nothing to say. He had been right all along. He waited for her to say something, but when she didn’t, he turned toward his truck. Nothing good would come from arguing when she couldn’t see the real problem.
She didn’t trust him.
As he got inside his truck, his phone began to ring and he looked at the caller ID. Camden Cove Police Department. He answered as he looked out at her still standing in the snow. “Hello?”
“Matt, its Alex.” His friend’s voice on the other line sounded serious. “I think you should come down to the docks.”