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Kate’s flight was in less than three hours. She needed to pack, clean up, and throw her luggage in the van.
As soon as she stepped outside, the view of the harbor made her stop. The sight of Camden Cove, even as her life spun out of control, still stole her attention. She noticed Matt’s boat missing from the harbor, as other lobster boats bobbed in the water as the tide crept in. Seagulls swept through the sky in the wind. The chiming of the church bells off in the distance reminded her of the time, and the beauty shattered as the reality of heading back home hit her.
As soon as the van was cleaned off, she threw her luggage in the back. But the familiar grinding of steel against the pavement, crunching in the background made her freeze.
The plow was coming.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She slammed down the lift gate and rushed to the driver’s seat. Once inside, she swiveled the rearview mirror to see what she already knew. The orange oversized truck barreled down Riverside Road. The bane of her existence since coming to this sleepy town would plow her in if she didn’t move it.
She threw the minivan in reverse and slammed her foot against the gas. The plow continued on its path, roaring down the street, thrusting the snow onto the sidewalk and into driveways. She took her chances and gunned it. The tires slipped in the cold mess, sending the van toward the embankment on the other side of the driveway. With only a few yards to go, she straightened the wheel and returned her foot on the gas. She needed to make it out.
Then she heard the roar of the plow’s horn, warning her of its presence. It only made her press the gas with more vigor. The van’s wheels jumped the embankment and pulled back into the driveway. The plow continued to move forward, metal screeching as the truck began to brake. She only had a few feet before the three-ton blade of steel would be on top of her. And then, just when she had a glimmer of hope, the minivan slid back into the side of the driveway, slamming deeper into the snowbank. The high-pitched screech of her tires spinning masked the sound of the plow’s horn.
The plow roared to a stop, pushing snow against its blade in the middle of the driveway, burying the rear end of the van that she’d spent an hour shoveling out.
“What the heck do you think you’re doing?!” the driver yelled out his window. “Are you trying to get killed? Snowplows have the right of way!”
Kate jumped out of the van and yelled back, “Don’t you people have any decency? You saw that I was coming! Can’t you do your job without torturing those around you?”
The man continued shouting as he rolled up his window, putting the truck into reverse.
She screamed into the sky, “Why must the universe punish me?!”
She kicked the snow around her and then pounded the side of the minivan as the plow drove away. She threw her head back and growled a scream. She yelled into the gray sky, but the sea held more rage. Its waves crashed into the granite cliffs, muting her wrath, and it just made her even more mad.
The tears came even though she fought to keep them at bay. She did not want to cry. She did not want to be defeated, to be pathetic. She didn’t want to be a victim. She no longer wanted to be that Kate.
The noose wrapped around her chest.
What now?
Kate fell backwards and sunk into the snow. It enveloped her and muted everything around her. All she could hear was her breath—it was short and quick, and low on oxygen. She laid there and tried to focus. One. Two. Three. Breathe.
She counted again, but it didn’t help. The noose was too tight.
She thought about going back, seeing Eric, having to tell everyone about the engagement, going back to work and then moving her stuff out and into her mom’s place. She still hadn’t even told her mom.
Did she calculate her self-worth by being attached to a man?
And suddenly Kate realized her biggest problem was her.
How badly did she need the fairytale to be happy?
She sat up on her elbows from the cold cocoon as the snowplow grated down another road. She wiped away the snow from her face. She wasn’t going to apologize for wanting it all, but she certainly wasn’t going to wait for a knight in shining armor to come around. She needed to figure out what would make her happy on her own.
She brushed off as she stood, and went directly inside. She grabbed her torn-up journal. If she was ever going to find happiness, she would have to face her demons. With the last of the blank pages, she began to write. The words poured out of her. She wrote about things she’d never allowed herself to say out loud, or even admit. She wrote about her fears, her assumptions, and her doubts about herself.
She wrote about Eric.
She wrote about her parents’ divorce.
She wrote about what she wanted in life.
Then she wrote about Matt.
When the words stopped pouring out, she looked out at the horizon as the clouds opened up and a ray of sun, like a torch from the heavens, lit the water below.
And then different words came itching out of her pen and her story suddenly changed.
The noose loosened. She took a deep breath.
Thoughts spun around her head and her blood began pumping through her veins. Things she had only dreamed about starting to be planned out on paper. Exciting dreams she never felt worthy of, nor dared to plan out.
Then, the house phone began to ring, jolting her out of her thoughts.
She rushed to the kitchen. “Hello?”
“Katie.” There was only one other person who called her by that name. Vivi. “Katie, I’m coming home early to see you before you leave.”
Tears welled up in her eyes, not because of sadness or shame or pain, but from joy. True joy. “I can’t wait.”
***
MATT WATCHED AS HE had Maggie Mae towed toward the marina in Portland. There, she'd get fixed up as good as new. The only question he had was, how long would it take before he could go back out on the water? Maybe with it being the off season, they'd be able to get right to work on it, but Matt figured it'd be the opposite.
As he watched Maggie Mae head north and disappear from view, he didn’t think things could get much worse for him. His boat had sunk in the harbor. His ex-wife’s fiancé might be on a mission to destroy him. And the Coast Guard wanted to talk to him about his own involvement in the sinking of his ship.
He’d handle the problems with the boat and with Freddy. He wasn’t worried about the Coast Guard, and knew they were following procedure. What he couldn’t handle was the possibility of Katie never understanding how he felt about her. Did he go for broke, and go back? Try to make her understand? Should he tell her the truth. That he was in love with her, and didn’t want to lose her ever again.
He looked at his empty slip at the dock. Why would Katie stay? Especially after everything with Justine. Sure, nothing happened, but the history and the drama seemed to linger and continue to haunt him. Last night was just a preview of the years to come. Who would want to deal with that? He didn’t want to deal with that. All he brought to the relationship was an overbearing family and deep-seated struggles from past relationships.
“Mr. Williams, we won’t take up too much of your time,” said the officer of the Coast Guard, “but we’d like you to come down to the office and answer a few questions.”
Matt stuffed his hands in his pockets and nodded. “No problem.”
He looked over to Katie’s cottage. It had been hours since their fight. He wondered if that was the last time he’d see her. He followed the officer back down the dock toward the parking lot.
She was better off without him.
***
ELIZABETH SAT IN HER favorite spot at the bakery and watched Camden Cove from the window. She cupped her hands around the fancy hot cocoa Frank had given her, but it was David’s almond biscotti she dipped in the cocoa that she really came for.
Through the window she noticed Kate, walking down the street with a certain determination that was new. Her chin was up, her hair floating behind her as she pounded down the street. She swung open the door to the bookstore and went inside. Elizabeth hadn’t even finished her biscotti before Kate came back out with bags in her hands. She turned on her heel and went inside the Camden Cove Country Store, right next door.
Frank came out from behind the counter, his attention on Kate as well.
“She looks like she’s on a mission,” he said, standing next to her and looking out the window.
“Mom told me Matt has been taking her out on the town.” Elizabeth smiled, thinking of the two together. It’d be nice for her brother to have something good again. Even as teens Elizabeth had the two matched, but the timing wasn’t in their favor.
“It’s such a shame she lives so far away,” Frank said, looking out at her.
Elizabeth nodded in agreement. “Yes, she’s lovely.”
She wondered how involved Frank had been in this newly blossoming relationship, as they watched her come out of the Country Store with more bags in her hands. Then, without stopping, Kate headed down the road and into the flower shop. The whole spectacle made them delightfully curious.
Customers entered the bakery, and Frank went behind the counter. Elizabeth continued to keep an eye out the window, waiting for Kate to emerge onto the street. Finally, she came out from the flower shop’s door with a couple of bouquets tucked in the crook of her arms. She stepped out from under the green awning and looked up, closing her eyes, letting the sun touch her face.
Kate looked different.
Then, with a little skip, she crossed the street. Scooting her chair over, Elizabeth strained to see Kate jog up the staircase that led to Matt’s apartment. She knocked and looked around her. Matt didn’t appear to be home. With one more knock, she twisted a bag off her arm and hung it on the door handle, inside the screen.
She skipped down the stairs and then jumped off the last step, and Elizabeth knew what had happened.
Kate had found her joy.