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Eric sat on the coffee table and put his head between his hands. Kate sat in front of him on the couch.
He looked up. His eyes showed his pain. “I messed everything up, didn’t I?”
He seemed so innocent as he said it that Kate almost reached out to grab his hand and pull him closer, but she stuffed her hands under her legs.
Then she studied his face. The last time she saw him was when he told her he couldn’t marry her. The look on his face when he said those words had flashed through her mind over and over again throughout the week. It was a look of relief. As though he had confessed a sin. As if a burden had been lifted from his chest.
When he first said it, she was confused. Then he’d said it again. “I can’t do this.”
She had been at his place, helping him pack for Camden Cove. At first, she’d thought he didn’t want to go on vacation because of work. “Please tell me this isn’t about the Morrow account. Their money will be there waiting for you when we get back. We’ve been planning this for months. I promise, we’re going to have the best Christmas ever.”
He shook his head and dropped the clothes he was packing into the suitcase. “No, I can’t go with you. I can’t do this.” He motioned with his hands, not just to the suitcase, but to the whole room. His face changed from fear to relief. He took a deep breath and said, “I can’t marry you.”
Kate forgot how to breathe. Panic took over her body. Her hands trembled as she leaned against the bed and tried to focus on his words, in case she had misinterpreted what he said.
“What do you mean?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
He sat on the end of the bed, his back toward her. “I’m just not ready. I thought I was, but I’m not.”
Kate didn’t remember if she’d said anything or not. She just went into automatic mode. She went back to packing again. She grabbed the clothes laid out on the bed and folded and refolded them before sticking them into the luggage. The flight was in the morning, only a few hours away. She could drive to the airport before she regretted anything.
“Kate, I’m sorry,” he said, still looking away from her.
She rested her weight on the suitcase, squeezing the sides, not sure what she was even doing. Don’t lose it, she kept repeating in her head as he spoke. Trying not to listen, but hearing every word.
“I don’t want to hurt you. You’re the last person I want to hurt.”
“How long have you felt this way? Is there another woman?”
He shook his head. She couldn’t tell if that bothered her more. He just didn’t want her.
“I love you, but I’m just—”
She zippered the suitcase so quickly that the sound covered up whatever he was saying. She didn’t want to know.
“Kate, don’t go.” Eric sounded sincere, but he didn’t get up from the bed.
She turned and looked at him from the bedroom door. “I’ll be at Vivi’s.”
And that was it.
Her whole life changed.
And now as Eric sat before her, she realized she was no longer that Kate. She had changed.
She took a deep breath and the air came easier this time. She could feel her heart’s pace slow. She studied his gray eyes and saw a new man. One full of regret.
“I’m sorry.” He leaned over, placing his hands on her knees. “Please forgive me. I don’t care about what happened with you and that guy. I just want you to come back home.”
She couldn’t believe what was happening. She put her hands on his and took a deep breath. “There will always be a part of me that will love you, but I can’t go back. Too much has changed.”
His head dropped and he pulled his hands away. He blew out a hard breath. “I will do whatever it takes to fix this.”
“It’s different now.” She wanted something for her hands, to rub or fiddle or use as a focal point. She didn’t want to look at him and watch him fall apart.
He stood up and walked to the windows, the furthest spot in the room from her. He looked out at the same view she had for days. She didn’t say anything, just waited.
“Is it because of him?” He kept his gaze out the window.
“No.” She looked up. “And yes.” She took a deep breath. “It’s mostly because I’m not the same person I was when I last saw you. I’ve changed.”
He let out a huff. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. You didn’t used to sleep with random guys before.”
His words stung like a slap in the face. She tried to remind herself how upset he was, but she didn’t deserve to be treated as though she had something to apologize for.
“You should leave,” she said coldly, standing up.
He held up his hands. “I’m sorry. All I want to do is erase the last week and start again.”
She took in a deep breath and listened to the waves.
“Please, Kate, please give me another chance.”
She had hoped and prayed and begged for this moment to come. To have him change his mind, to get her dream life back again, but as she sat there, his hands squeezing hers, she realized that dream had ended.
She didn’t want to place blame, because he was only the catalyst for her change, but his one decision changed everything for her.
“Eric, I can’t.”
And just like that, Kate’s life changed again.
***
MATT SAT IN HIS APARTMENT and watched the car parked in Katie’s driveway. The very fancy foreign SUV he couldn’t afford. It had only been about twenty minutes since he left her place, but it felt like forever, just sitting around waiting to see what happened next.
He needed to leave. Go somewhere. Anywhere to get away from the fact that Katie was with her ex-fiancé. The guy who she might still love. The guy who wasn’t leaving the house.
What if she went back to him? What would he do then? Worse, what if they stayed in Camden Cove to finish their vacation together?
He swept his keys off the kitchen table when he saw another car pull into the driveway. He couldn’t tell who it was, but he guessed it had to be Vivi, if that’s who Katie had been expecting that morning.
Just as he was going to leave, Alex Martinez knocked on the door.
“Hey, Alex,” Matt said as he opened his door.
“Hey, Matt.” Standing in full uniform, Alex’s demeanor was flat.
“What’s up?” Matt had a feeling he knew. Either it was about the sunken boat, Freddy’s threat of going to the police, or with Matt’s luck, a whole new problem he wasn’t aware of.
“We need to talk.”
His head dropped. “I take it that it needs to happen now.”
Alex nodded, walking inside his apartment.
“I take it Freddy came for a visit.”
“No, but I’m waiting for him to show up.” Alex rested his hands on his belt. “I get it, I want to deck the guy, and he didn’t even sleep with my wife.”
Matt slumped onto his couch, putting his head in between his hands. “I know I need to cool it.”
“You don’t just need to cool it.” Alex let out a deep breath. “You need to stop.”
“Have you talked to him about my boat?” He didn’t need to remind Alex about the situation, but his anger controlled his rationality.
“You’d know more than me.” Alex crossed his arms. “Look, Matt, what I’m trying to tell you is that we all understand the why. But for your own sake, stay away from Freddy.”
“He was talking about Lauren.” Matt gave him a look. Freddy was lucky that Alex hadn’t been there. Alex was as protective of Lauren as Matt and Jack. “You’d do the same thing.”
“You should’ve just let Lauren take care of herself. God knows she could.”
The both let out a laugh.
“Remember when she hit Tommy Appleton in the nose?” Alex shook his head, laughing again.
“She broke it.” Matt smiled, thinking of his little brute of a sister.
“Look, just be careful, because next time, he’s going to get an attorney, and I can’t help you after that.” Alex gave him a serious look.
Matt stood up and shook Alex’s hand. “Thanks, man.”
He looked out one more time toward Vivi’s. The car was still there. Jail might be better than sitting around with his raw heart.
***
KATE HEARD A WOMAN’S voice from the front hall. “Katie! Eric!”
Kate’s eyes shot open as she heard Vivi’s voice. Before she could say anything, Vivi walked into the living room. “I’m so glad I got to see you guys before you left!”
Eric looked over at Kate, his eyes blood shot, moistened.
“I thought you were getting in tonight.” Kate’s throat hurt saying the words.
Vivi unwrapped her scarf, and placed it on the back of the couch. Her eyes flickered to Kate then to Eric, reading the room.
“Um... I was just leaving.” Eric stumbled over the words. He had liked her aunt when she came out to visit them in the city. They had talked about music and art of the eighties and nineties.
“Oh.” Vivi sounded surprised. She looked at Kate. “Well, don’t let me keep you. I’ll see you later, then?”
“I’m at the Cliff House,” he said and he left.
Vivi said something, as he walked past her, but he kept going, not replying.
Kate’s whole being felt stuck, buried in emotions, as she watched Eric leave. Once she heard the door close, Kate rushed over and embraced Vivi. She had never been happier to see her than she was at that moment.
“Katie,” Vivi squeezed her, “what just happened?”
Kate didn’t say anything, just kept hugging her, holding back her tears until her eyes stung.
“Merry Christmas!” Vivi swayed Kate back and forth. “What have you been up to?” Vivi asked as she pulled away. “I tried opening the garage door, but it wouldn’t open.”
Kate flung her arms into the air. “Everything’s completely a mess!” She fell into the couch, tears sliding down to her chin.
Vivi sat down next to her and put her hand on her knee. “What’s going on?”
Kate let it all out, tears falling down her cheeks. “Eric left me, and I got stuck in a ditch, and Matt pulled me out. Then there was no breakfast. And I had to go to a Christmas party with Frank and David. And, I’ve gained like twenty pounds because of eating so many pastries, and then Matt stayed here last night and Eric came this morning, and he wants to get back together, but now he thinks I slept with Matt.”
Vivi sat without moving or even blinking. She finally asked, “What happened to your eyes?”
“See!” Kate got up and started to pace. “I’m a complete mess!”
“Slow down.” Vivi stood, taking off her jacket, then took hold of Kate’s arms, and made her stop pacing. “Let me make some tea, and we can talk about everything.”
Kate leaned into Vivi and hugged her again. “I’d love that.”
She followed Vivi into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Vivi had always been the cool aunt. Her mom’s younger sister’s wild side was legendary in their house. Her mom would frequently roll out a story about her aunt to demonstrate what not to do with her life. “When your aunt was sixteen, she did this” or “she did that”.
Kate had always admired how Vivi didn’t seem to care, either. No matter what her mom said, Vivi would shrug it off. Questions about when she was going to settle down or when she’d have a family of her own were ignored. She never seemed to get upset. And what her mom never understood was that Vivi was happy. Happier than her mom.
As the kettle ticked on the burner, Vivi sat down and let out a sigh. “Why don’t you start from the beginning?”
Kate didn’t want to go back to the beginning, because she didn’t really know where to begin. Did it happen when he left her? Or was it before that? She didn’t really know when it all started.
“Did you know my parents were getting a divorce, the summer I came out alone?” Kate asked her.
Vivi scrunched her eyebrows, as if examining her. She nodded. “Yes.”
“Did she know about his affair?”
Vivi didn’t answer at first, which made Kate wonder if her aunt would hold loyalty to her mother. Kate had never heard the whole story. After the divorce, her mother never spoke of her father again. Never talked about what happened, besides the fact that her father had a new family. Nothing about their marital problems.
Worse, Kate had never noticed any. Before she came home that summer, she’d thought everything was perfect.
Just like with her and Eric.
And now with Matt.
“Yes,” Vivi finally answered, “she knew about the affair. That’s why she sent you to me, alone.”
“Is this why you never married?” she asked her. “Nothing lasts, so why bother?”
Vivi let out a half laugh. “No, unfortunately, that’s not why.”
“Then it’s our family.” Kate studied the coastline, watching as a boat followed the horizon. “We’re all cursed.”
“We’re not cursed.” Vivi walked over to her. “We’re passionate.”
Kate rolled her eyes. “Or crazy.”
“That, too.” Vivi rubbed Kate’s back. “I do believe in love, because I had it once.”
Kate remembered that there had been men in Vivi’s life. Boyfriends who’d come by and introduce themselves to the family, but never stay around long enough to see again the next summer. “Who was it?”
“His name was Phillip.” She smiled the moment she said his name.
“What happened?”
The kettle screamed from the stove. Vivi got up and poured the water, bringing it to the table. Kate dropped two tea bags into mugs.
“Gosh, I haven’t thought about Phillip in a while.” She folded her hands around the mug. “We were engaged to be married.”
“What happened between you two? Why didn’t it work out?”
“Well, he was a fisherman, and got caught in a storm, the boat capsized and he drowned.”
Kate’s mouth dropped open. She had never heard the story. “I am so sorry. That’s horrible.”
Vivi slipped her hands out and patted Kate. “Heartbreak is heartbreak. But being scared is another thing.”
“Scared?”
“You mentioned Matt?” Vivi somehow didn’t seem surprised. “Do you mean Matt Williams?”
“Yes?”
“I decided to come home because Frank and David gave me a call a few days ago when you arrived, and told me about Eric.”
“Did you tell my mom?”
“You didn’t?”
Kate shook her head. “She’ll just say I told you so.”
Vivi shook her head. “She’ll be devastated for you.
“I didn’t want her to hate him...” Kate looked out the window, down at the slip where Maggie Mae was usually moored. It was still empty. “I just don’t know what to do. What if Eric really did just get cold feet? What if he still loves me like he did before? And how are Matt and I ever going to work? Long distance relationships never work. Everything with Eric is planned out. Our house, the wedding, our future.”
“You have to follow your heart, as corny as that sounds, it’s always right.”
Kate rubbed her forehead with both hands. “That’s the thing. I don’t trust mine.”