Ava sat in the campervan and stared at the road barrier. The van was parked under pine trees down a lane to the side, hidden in shadows. The lane ended with large green storage sheds and skips, piles of wood, trailers, mowers. It was used by the greenkeepers at Archerfield, a golf course through the trees. So much of East Lothian was given over to exclusive activities and access, thus the road barrier. It glowed red in the gloom, a beacon of privilege. Ava was amazed you were allowed to block off roads for residents only, but with enough money you can buy whatever peace and quiet you want.
Heather was in the driver’s seat, Lennox out amongst the pines, crouched and waiting. This was crazy but she was dragged along by his confidence and determination. They were going to rescue Sandy under cover of darkness, and they needed to get the van down this private road to do it.
She had to pee. She always had to pee. Her daughter squirmed in her womb as if she was nervous, which spread through Ava. She wondered about Michael, how outraged he must be. He didn’t love her, hated her, in fact, it was all about control. Get the police on her tail, the media involved, do whatever you can to get back what was stolen from you. The idea of Ava having agency was alien to him. And to be honest, it felt alien to her too. She was shocked when Lennox and Heather had asked her opinion of the plan. She just shrugged and they took that as agreement. But that’s what she’d done for years with Michael. She had to break that habit.
‘Look.’ Heather nodded down the road. A black Mercedes like Michael’s slowed as it approached the barrier. For a moment Ava thought it was his, then she remembered she’d smashed it up and smiled. Michael would love to live in a place like this, but there were always levels of society out of reach, if that’s the kind of bullshit you were into.
The car slowed and the barrier lifted smoothly. The Mercedes sped through onto hallowed ground. The barrier began descending and Lennox darted out from behind a tree and grabbed the arm and held it above his head. He walked to the fulcrum, levering the arm vertical, as Heather started the van engine and put it into gear.
There was a chance the barrier would be alarmed so they had to be quick. Ava touched the dashboard as they drove under the barrier then pulled over on the grass verge. Lennox walked the arm back down calmly, his headphones still over his ears on top of his hoodie, then he lay the barrier to rest in its cradle. He jogged to the camper and got in the back.
‘Brilliant,’ Heather said.
Lennox shrugged as they drove off, past millionaires’ sprawling houses, large gardens carved out of the woods, houses more like American suburban mansions than Scottish homes. The road ended in a cul-de-sac of five houses. Heather drove round checking for security-camera blind spots, then parked between lampposts and killed the engine. No one spoke, just the ticking of the van’s engine. An owl hooted somewhere in the trees. Shit, being rich bought you better nature too.
They left the van, Lennox with the paddleboard under his arm. They walked away from the houses and skirted the golf course, went across a fairway, past two bunkers, then through a copse of pine. A construction fence blocked their way to the beach but Heather led them to a hole ripped in it, and they were on the sand. Judging by the flashes from the Fidra lighthouse, they were a little northwest of Sandy.
They walked along the waterfront. The tide was in, that was part of the plan. As they got closer Ava could see the tape around Sandy, two cops sitting in a police car alongside, the interior light on. The car was pointing towards Yellowcraigs car park. Of course, that’s where anyone approaching would come from. Ava smiled, that’s why they were coming from the opposite direction.
Heather held up a hand and they stopped. Lennox dropped the paddleboard and began undressing. Underneath his clothes he was wearing the wetsuit Heather gave him. She didn’t explain why she had a wetsuit that fitted a teenager and Ava didn’t ask.
‘Are you sure about this?’ Heather said.
They’d finally agreed this after a long conversation in the campervan earlier. Lennox said he had to rescue Sandy whatever it took, and both women agreed. But then the logistics. With the cops on the beach, Heather had the idea to come from the west, go into the water, lift Sandy onto the board and float them back. Then keep them in the van until they worked out what to do next. But Heather couldn’t swim, which made the paddleboard and wetsuit more mysterious. Lennox said he would do this on his own but Ava wanted to help. She was used to sea swimming, had gone with a few members of staff from the maths department for a while before Michael shut it down. And being in the water was one of the few times she didn’t feel like an elephant lugging a bowling ball in her belly.
She stripped to her underwear. No wetsuit for her, it wouldn’t have fitted her stomach anyway. Her pants and bra were like scaffolding for her outsized ass and boobs, thanks, baby. She saw Lennox glance at her. She looked down at herself, her stomach looked like a full moon.
Lennox lifted the board and waded into the water. He was different from a lot of the teenage boys at school, not performative, just getting on with things. She followed him, felt the cold water on her legs then crotch. Her breath caught in her throat but it was always the same for the first moments. You can learn to live with anything. She went in over her belly and felt the baby flip, then she launched into the wash and swam, followed Lennox who was pushing the board in front of him.
The lighthouse ahead blinked. She saw the police car lit up, North Berwick in the distance. Stars were sprinkled overhead, sparks of life in the blackness. They swam a few hundred yards then Lennox headed for shore. Ava followed. She thought about what she did two nights ago, sneaking out of the house in the darkness. It was supposed to be a new life, but not like this.
She felt sand under her feet and started wading. Lennox crouched as he walked ashore. The police car was at an angle, so the nearest officer might see them if he turned and looked closely, but who would suspect abduction by sea?
She caught up with Lennox. Sandy was in six inches of water, the wash running over their head and tentacles then back out. Lennox brought the paddleboard alongside.
‘Ready?’ he said.
She glanced at the police, no movement. She looked along the coast but couldn’t see Heather, even in the moonlight and lighthouse flicker. Good. They both wore rubber swimming gloves, in case touching Sandy made them pass out like Lennox earlier. Ava nodded at Lennox then pushed her hands underwater and dug into the sand around Sandy’s head with her fingers. Lennox collected the tentacles together.
Ava lifted Sandy’s head and felt the strangeness of their skin through the gloves, then her hands seemed to pass through the surface into softer tissue and suddenly she was surrounded by Sandy as if she was in the creature’s womb, safe and warm despite the cold North Sea. She felt welcomed into another entity, this must be what it was like for her own baby, they were a nest of Russian dolls, Sandy keeping them all safe. Suddenly Ava was out of the water, still inside Sandy, flying towards the moon, streamlined and easy. She breathed deeply, could sense the cold but couldn’t feel it, and she had a sense she was going to meet her family, never worry again. They reached the edge of the earth’s atmosphere and something shimmered, a giant arc of black nothingness that reacted to Sandy’s arrival, welcomed them into a chasm of love. Just as they were about to reach it she was back standing in the sea with her cold hands holding Sandy’s head.
Lennox stared at her. ‘They showed you something.’
Ava didn’t know what to say. Something deep had happened, something that made speech superfluous. They had been inside each other.
Lennox frowned. ‘Are you OK?’
She nodded then lifted Sandy’s head and slid it onto the paddleboard as Lennox did the same with the tentacles.
The flash from the lighthouse was like a search beacon trying to find them behind enemy lines. The cop car on the sand seemed pathetic all of a sudden, they had no idea what they were dealing with.
‘Let’s go,’ Ava said, pushing the paddleboard as she headed back into the cold sea.