LENNOX

He didn’t know if he was alive or dead, conscious or unconscious, human or something else. This felt different to the mind trips he’d had with Sandy and Xander before, more visceral. He shot away from Ullapool, Scotland, the Earth, through the upper atmosphere into low-orbit space, then higher still.

He was inside Xander. He lifted his hand to his face, like moving in a viscous jelly. He could breathe. He felt his lungs work, wondered if they were full of Xander’s body, if this stuff was inside him, getting into his bloodstream, becoming part of him.

Sandy was floating to his side, gently expanding and contracting their body, tentacles swaying in the jelly. It was so good to see them out of that cage. He and Sandy were part of Xander now. It didn’t make sense to think of himself as Lennox anymore, he was a compound of a million things – bacteria in his gut, microscopic bugs in his hair, Xander’s body passing through his own, Sandy inside his neurons. It finally made physical sense, the idea that Sandy was plural. We all are. And the human idea of being singular, apart, alone, was a ridiculous and lonely way of looking at life.

He could see through Xander’s body to outside. He imagined wind whipping his face as they lifted out of the atmosphere. The moon got larger, the sun too, and he worried about radiation, wasn’t that something astronauts had to deal with? Beams of energy that changed the make-up of your cells. But he’d experienced plenty of that already, what did it matter?

The stars were brighter than he’d ever seen. He remembered looking at the sky back in Figgate Park at the start of this. Now he was here amongst the stars.

He had no idea how fast they were travelling, or how they were doing it. There was no jet trail, just easy propulsion through the vacuum. They approached an area of sky where the starlight faded or shimmered as they got closer. They passed through a membrane and were plunged into a darker space, no starlight penetrating. Some kind of shield?

After a moment of darkness Lennox was blinded by light everywhere as Xander slowed. They were surrounded by thousands of creatures like Xander, giant glowing jellyfish, each with their own ecosystem of smaller beings dipping in and out, underneath, between. Lennox just stared. There were millions of interconnected creatures here, in a secret bubble of space. Lennox tried to get his head round it.

<What is this?> he thought eventually.

Lennox turned to Sandy, who was displaying colours he’d never seen before.

<Xander whole.> This was Xander’s voice.

Sandy flashed an iridescent kind of yellow-blue. <Enceladus whole.>

Lennox thought about that.

<Sandy-Lennox partial now Enceladus whole.> Sandy’s voice was so comforting, he couldn’t remember a time it hadn’t been in his mind. He felt a glow at the idea of being a part of something bigger. Him, Sandy and Xander, all part of this horde currently floating in some kind of blind spot.

Sandy waved a tentacle close to Lennox’s face. It shimmered and melted away, then reappeared. <Light manipulation.>

The bubble must be many miles across. <Why hide?>

Sandy shrank and Lennox understood Xander would answer.

<Unsure of human reaction.> A pause. <No awareness of other life. No sense of Enceladons. Shock.>

Lennox spotted some creatures with long, spindly arms, antennae twitching as they swam through Xander’s tendrils.

<Yeah, shock.>

Sandy flashed green-blue. <Lennox first human to connect.>

Another pause. He wondered if they were talking to each other without him, or communicating with others in this tribe.

<Happy accident.> Sandy’s voice. <Sandy partial one of many partials exploring earth. Examining. Happy Sandy-Lennox partial, now Enceladus whole.>

Lennox thought about Xander at the bottom of Loch Broom. He wondered how many other Xanders were out there, how many Sandys. He thought about all the oceans of the world, the depths that humans knew nothing about.

Their consciousness was completely different to his. He was starting to get a tiny glimpse into their world, their society. But he wanted more, wanted to know everything about this civilisation, these creatures, how they evolved, how long they’d lived on Enceladus, what did they eat, how did they mate, what about culture?

He thought about Sandy-Lennox partial and Enceladus whole. He wondered if there was any differentiation between Xander and Sandy, or if he’d just assumed that. He remembered that thing about Earth octopuses, how they have mini-brains in their tentacles. He understood the words, but what does it really mean? It makes the idea of a self meaningless.

<Enceladus whole coming to earth.> This was Xander.

Lennox frowned. <Those things you showed me on Enceladus. Is that why you left?>

Xander’s flesh darkened for a moment. <Other. Not part of Enceladus whole. Not willing to become Enceladus. Destroy all.>

Sandy flashed red-orange, tentacles flapping. <Interstellar, you say. Not solar system. Dark. No knowledge.>

<Dark, no knowledge.>

<Dark, no knowledge.>

Dark, no knowledge. It was fucking dark, all right. Lennox looked around at the exhibition of life floating here. <When are you coming down to Earth?>

A moment of silence, colours swirling around him, through him.

<Now.>