I don’t think I’ve heard Aiden and Pierce shout so loud in my life. I don’t think they’ve ever squeezed me this hard, either.
“We didn’t think you’d ever come home,” Aiden complains, and Pierce, that quiet, sweet boy, nods.
I push back a lock of russet-colored hair that rests on Aiden’s forehead. “Hey, your daddy made a promise to always come back and he kept it. I kept it, too.”
Colin kneels beside me, Pierce in his arms as he whispers in his dad’s ear. “Yes, of course, we can talk about that.”
Puzzled, I eye Colin, but he shakes his head and mouths, “I will share later.” Guess it must be a secret father-and-son talk.
My heart swells at the sight of the two of them and at Aiden as he hangs on to me for dear life. “Can we sleep here tonight?” he asks.
I panic a little. Colin and I never worked out the details of where we’d live. I don’t want to leave Tressie living all by herself. It would feel like I was abandoning her. We are the only family either of us has in the world.
“Up to Della and Tressie. I certainly won’t mind.” Colin winks at me.
“You wouldn’t?”
“No.”
“Looks like y’all are staying,” I tell the boys, and they whoop and holler like good southern boys.
Colin winces. “I assume that’s your influence.”
I shrug. “Tressie’s, too.”
He kisses Pierce’s head, then grabs Aiden and does the same before instructing them to go wash up for supper. Their little feet pound on the hardwood floors as they run to the bathroom.
“Is it weird I like the sound of that?” I ask, feeling slightly shy. It’s an unfamiliar feeling, since I’ve known those boys since they were tiny and have had them over more times than I can count.
“Perhaps you’re thinking you’d like the sound of more.”
My heart races and not in a good way. Yes, I love children. Yes, I love Colin and I’d love to have his children, but it’s not possible. Not even in a fairy-tale romance like ours. But that doesn’t mean we can’t adopt or have a surrogate mother—I’m open to that.
I’m just not quite open to sharing yet.
But I have to. It’s only fair that Colin know the truth.
I’m scared to death to tell him, but I take comfort in the fact that he already has kids with a woman he loved. He experienced the very thing I can’t ever provide and, yeah, I’m a little jealous, but I can’t help but feel sorry for the woman who won’t see her boys turn into men.
Who didn’t get to see Pierce’s first step. Aiden’s first loose tooth. Basically, all the things I treasured being part of.
Tears fill my eyes at the thought of all the things I got to see and do.
“I love kids and I’ve always wanted to have a house full of them.” Tonight I’ll tell him the truth.
“As you wish,” he says, and then he gives me a wicked look that rocks me all the way down to my toes. “How about we start tonight?”
Before I can answer, the boys come racing back into the room, Tressie on their heels. “Don’t just stand there, get to work. Supper’s not going to cook itself, Your Highness.”
“Is she talking to me or you?” Colin asks softly.
“Both,” Tressie replies. “I’m not deaf.”
Laughing, I shake my head. “She’s totally not, which made it impossible for me to sneak out with Lola in high school.”
“No boys were allowed in your room?” One of his hands coasts down my back.
“Nope.” I shiver under his touch. My breasts get heavy and tingly. “But you get to sleep with me.”
Tressie bangs together pots and pans as she rummages through the cabinets. “Boys can sleep with y’all or in the guest room.”
“With Della and Daddy!!!”
Colin groans. “Yay.”
Snorting, I smack my hand over my mouth while my stepmother shoots me a dirty look. Grabbing his arm, I pull him into the living room and turn on the television.
“What did you do to piss her off?” I mutter.
“I might have told her she can retire now,” he admits.
“What? She loves her job.”
He sighs, running a hand through his brown hair. “I know, but she’s over sixty-five and deserves to relax. I thought that with you married she could be free to travel or see her gentleman friend more often.”
“Did you explain that to her, or send her a letter?” I ask wryly.
A sheepish smile pushes up the corners of his mouth. “Email.”
“Colin—you didn’t!”
“I did. It came to me while we were on holiday. I thought I was doing the right thing. I don’t want to replace her because she’s a terrible employee—she can keep her job. My aim was and always is to treat her with respect. Considering that she’s my mother-in-law, even more deference is required.”
“I love it when you get all formal.” I kiss his nose. “But you’ll have to make things right with her, okay?”
“Absolutely. Right after dinner.”
I shake my head. “Not if you want to live to eat supper.”
“Duly noted.” He kisses me hard and strides toward the kitchen. “My lady Tressie, how may I be of assistance?”
“You can start by taking out the trash.”
Giggling, I fall into the sofa.
Maybe tonight won’t be so bad. Maybe he’ll be reasonable and, heck, maybe he’ll forget what he said or he’ll realize what he said and back up a step or two.
I wouldn’t mind the reprieve.
No, you have to tell him.
I frown. “I hate doing the right thing,” I complain, trying to get my inner thoughts on board.
No, you don’t.
You’re right. I just wish it were easier.
Nothing worth having is.
Later that night while I’m hanging up my clothes and sorting my laundry, Colin joins me in my room.
“Tressie no longer hates me. The boys are in the guest room, practically asleep, and I’m ready to sleep with my wife.” He grins. “In a room no man has ever been in.”
“You really can’t let go of that, can you?”
“That your bedroom is virginal.” He fingers the lace edge of my comforter. “No.”
“Good grief.” I roll my eyes playfully and hang up the last shirt. “Men love being first.”
“First and last, honestly. We’re very primitive.”
“No argument from me.”
Colin tosses a pillow at me and I catch it, then throw it back. He tosses another and then a third. I throw each one right back at him.
“Damnit woman, I’m trying to unmake the bed.” He actually looks grumpy.
“Oh, I thought you were retaliating.”
“For agreeing with me?” He arches a brow. “Isn’t that every man’s wish for his wife?”
“You are so wrong.” I wag a finger at him. “Keep that up and you’ll sleep on the floor.”
He wraps his arms around me, pulling me to him. I can feel his cock against my ass. “So can we get started tonight? Perhaps we can make a little girl with red hair and platinum eyes?” He spins me around and sweeps me up in his arms, stalking to the bed and laying me down in the center like in an old-school romance novel. “I’ll fill you so full, love.” His fingers glide up my thigh to find me wet from his words. “You can take every bit, every drop, and then I’d give you more.”
I close my eyes as he enters me, trying to stay in the moment and turned on as anything instead of a weeping mess.
“What’s wrong? You’re crying. Shit. Are you not ready…” He immediately withdraws his fingers. “How can I make it better?”
“There’s nothing you can do,” I say, my voice a whisper. “There’s nothing anyone can do.”
“There has to be. I can’t— Tell me what’s wrong. At least give me the opportunity to fix this.”
More tears fill my eyes until I’m forced to open them. Colin is hovering above like a cross between the prince that he is and the angel he seems.
It’s now or never. I take a deep breath and let the words flow from me all at once. “I can’t have kids.”
“Can’t as in right now, or can’t as in ever?”
“Ever.” I look away from him. I have to. I don’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes. “I was born with barely functioning ovaries. Had just enough for puberty and—and I had to take a lot of pills to keep it going. I do want kids and I want them with you. I want Aiden and Pierce to have siblings, but I can’t be the one to carry them.” My voice cracks. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t you dare apologize to me ever again.” He cups the side of my face, then kisses my tears. “We can adopt. We can do surrogates. Whatever you want. You tell me and I’ll make it happen.”
“You’re not disappointed?” I ask, giving voice to one of my biggest fears—the same fear that made me break off a relationship before.
His eyes roam my face. “I am sad because I can see and hear how much this hurts you.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“A little.” He gathers me to him and rolls to one side. “But I don’t love you for the children you can or cannot give us. I love you, Della.”
“And you already have your boys, so…” I smile through my tears at him while something I can’t name shines in his eyes. Oh God. Is he thinking of their mother now? “I wasn’t trying to bring anything up.”
“You’ve done nothing wrong.” His hand slides under the front of my robe, making my nerves dance. “Shall I make you feel better?” Lowering his head, he cups a breast. “Shall I take you now, nothing between us, and make you come again and again?”
“Yes.” I fuse my mouth to his, helping him out of his clothes while he touches, kisses, and strokes me everywhere.
Every sensitive spot.
I gasp into his mouth as his fingers slide in and out of me, teasing me and bring me closer and closer to the edge. He smiles, then lowers his head and wraps his mouth around a hard nipple. I grip his shoulders tight, my nails digging into his skin.
“My beautiful wife,” he murmurs against my skin, his thumb pressing hard against my clit. “Come for me.”
I shatter into a million pieces as I cry out his name. He covers my mouth with his, drinking in my cries while his fingers pump in and out of me. He stays with me through it all, helping me come down from the high.
Tenderly he covers my body and nudges my thighs apart, entering me one thick inch at a time until I’m practically shaking.
“I’m so full,” I whisper.
He laughs low in his throat. “Not yet, but you will be.”
Time seems to slow down as he moves, as he thrusts in and out of me, as he pumps his hips and gives me all that he has.
“You feel so bloody good,” he groans. “Can’t get enough.”
I pull him to me, loving the feel of his chest against mine, of his hips as they press against me again and again. Desire sparks inside me again, growing to a roaring flame that leaves me gasping and urging him on.
“More.”
“Not yet.”
“But I want more.” I suck on his ear. “Please.”
He thrusts deep.
“More.” I bite his neck.
He grunts, then grabs one hip and begins to pump hard. “Take it, love. Take it all.”
I spread my legs wider and lift my hips to meet his. He pelvis grinds against mine with each stroke.
Suddenly, my body arches hard, my toes curl, and a scream bursts from my throat as I come.
Colin growls, spurting into me as he comes. “Della,” he says, searching for my mouth.
“I’m here.”
We kiss, our bodies locked together in the most intimate of ways. But this time it’s different. He knows all my secrets, knows what I can’t give him and what I can.
He lifts his head, his dark green eyes glittering. “I love you. Forever.”
My heart pinches in my chest in the best way possible. “I love you. Forever.”