Cynthia Leitich Smith
You’ve had enough of the quarters game in the kitchen, the “Pink Floyd” album in the rec room, and the whispers and stares everywhere else. A girl on your high school newspaper staff just told you he was here. You have to get away. You’re not ready to see him yet.
It’s more than that actually. You’re not ready for everyone else to dissect how you two interact…or don’t. Maybe that sounds superficial, but this is social theater, and you’re the leading lady of the week. You’re not about to let them see you crumble.
What are you doing here anyway? You barely know the girl whose parents (currently out of town) own this place. Maybe your best friend had a point: Moping at home wasn’t helping, but offering yourself up as the focus of tonight’s drama wasn’t the best idea either.
For the first time, a boyfriend has told you that he doesn’t want you anymore. You’ve been together for months. You’ve gone on countless variations of his preferred date: dinner at a chain restaurant followed by the yogurt shop or miniature golf. You’ve been to church with his family, and he’s celebrated the holidays with yours. Your parents like him, especially your dad. They connect over football.
Was it because you’re a virgin? Is that why he dumped you? He never pressured. He never even brought it up. But that’s what your gut says.
In your suburban high school, it seems like a cheerleader gets pregnant every single year. You’re horrified by how people turn their backs on those girls, and you’re determined that it won’t happen to you. Could he sense that?
The split-level house is crowded. You squeeze past drunken kids to reach the second floor. Someone asks if you know he’s there, and you pretend not to hear. Couples are making out in the bathroom and in the bedrooms you pass. You slip into the master, where coats and purses are piled on the bed, and shut the door.
You need a few moments to pull yourself together. It’s already late. You consider hiding out there until your friends are ready to leave.
Then the door opens. Of all people, it’s the girl who’s been bullying you from the day you first moved to this district, back in fourth grade. She spray-painted the word “Bitch” on your driveway, and mocked your discount-store clothes.
That’s why you’re a cheerleader. You tried out for the wardrobe that came with it. Who would’ve guessed you’d take away her spot on the squad?
After that, she faded into the background. Until tonight. Has she been waiting for the opportunity to attack? You feel exposed, vulnerable.
“You’re too good for him,” she announces, and you assume it’s a trick.
You brace yourself for the punch line. You brace yourself to be the punch line, like you had been for many years before. But it doesn’t come. She’s sincere.
Has the world turned upside down?
“Why are you, of all people, being nice to me?” you demand with more spirit than you’ve ever shown her, toe-to-toe, before.
She blames the past on jealousy. She tells you how much you wow her.
It’s a small miracle. If she can change, then you will, too. No more hiding. You go downstairs to confront the boy. To ask what went wrong.
Years later, you won’t care enough to remember what he said.
In the end, that won’t be the conversation that mattered.
Cynthia Leitich Smith is the New York Times best-selling author of the Tantalize series, award-winning books for younger readers and numerous short stories. She went to high school in the suburbs of Kansas City and earned degrees in journalism and law before deciding to write fiction full-time. Today Cynthia makes her home in Austin, Texas, with her husband, author Greg Leitich Smith, and four feisty writer cats. Visit her at CynthiaLeitichSmith.com.