The following is a brief summary of the events that led up to and took place during my episode of major depression.
December 1990. Serious cracks in my six-year marriage begin to appear.
April 1991. I enter group therapy to deal with my marital crisis and to work on family of origin issues.
September 1993. After much deliberation, Joan and I decide to separate.
April 1994. The book that I am writing under contract for a New York publisher is unexpectedly turned down after I submit it. I am now without a creative focus or a love focus. I begin to develop insomnia.
December 1994. I am stricken with the first of a series of chronic bacterial infections in my lower right leg. Intravenous antibiotic therapy is required to vanquish the cellulitis.
September 1995. I file for divorce.
November 1995 and February 1996. Two additional attacks of cellulitis occur.
February 28, 1996. My divorce with Joan is finalized.
March 1. I am laid up with another bout of cellulitis. My mood blackens.
April 1-7. A trip to the Grand Canyon temporarily lifts my spirits.
June through August. I try a number of antidepressants in an attempt to heal my melancholy, none of which help.
August 10. I take the antidepressant Zoloft before bedtime and spend the next two days feeling extremely agitated.
September 4. I take the antidepressant Effexor before bedtime and wake up at three in the morning in a state of major agitation and panic. It takes two hours to get back to sleep. I finally wake up at noon, and experience a black depression for the rest of the day.
September 7. I awaken with out-of-control agitation and panic. Joan drives me to a psychiatric ward in a local hospital. My major depressive episode officially begins.
September 10. I am discharged from the hospital with a diagnosis of “agitated depression.”
September 11. Joan moves in with me and becomes my part-time caretaker.
September 12–October 22. My general mood takes a slow, downward direction. I begin to experience daily anxiety attacks which can only be contained through long walks in the woods.
October 21. Joan begins work at a full-time job.
October 23. I admit myself to Pacific Gateway Hospital.
October 31. I am discharged from Pacific Gateway.
November 1. I begin attending the day treatment program at the Pacific Counseling Center.
November 12. I attempt to commit suicide by taking an overdose of tranquilizers, but I am serendipitously interrupted.
November 15. Sedated on the antianxiety drug Klonopin, I rear-end a pickup truck during rush-hour traffic.
December 4-13. A temporary lifting of symptoms is followed by a return to the inferno.
January 2, 1997. I consider admitting myself to the hospital as suicidal feelings return.
February 13. I begin to submit prayer requests to the prayer ministry at the Living Enrichment Center.
February 21-28. I experience a week of unexplained calm and peace.
March 1. The old symptoms return with a vengeance.
April 20. I hire a home health aide to be my companion on weekday afternoons.
May 13. I plant a small vegetable garden.
May 25. After months of agonizing, I decide not to go to the Menninger Psychiatric Clinic in Topeka, Kansas.
June 19. The Reverend Eddy Brame of the Living Enrichment Center asks me to attend a support meeting to be held on my behalf with the ministerial staff of LEC. This proves to be the turning point in my illness.
July 14. A two-hour meeting to support my healing is held in the Reverend Mary Morrissey's office and facilitated by Mary. Twelve people attend. I decide to create a vision statement depicting what wellness would look like for me. The group agrees to affirm this vision with me on a daily basis.
July 17. I wake up free of symptoms. This remission will continue for three and a half weeks.
July 20. Mary confirms that “the holy spirit” was present at our meeting. I spend the day relaxing at the Oregon Coast.
August 11. I experience a relapse and spend two weeks back in the dark house.
August 26. The second “God meeting” takes place. Fifteen people are present. I share my rebirth statement with the group and receive helpful feedback.
August 27. My symptoms once again go into remission. I stop attending day treatment.
September 21. I begin to feel the return of some anxiety, but it is less severe than it had been.
September 25. The third “God meeting” takes place. Eddy Brame is now the main facilitator.
September 26. My symptoms disappear again, this time apparently for good.
October 19. I am able to focus again. I begin to tutor mathematics to high school and college students.
October 23. The fourth “God meeting” occurs, at which I dispose of the medication I had saved up for a possible suicide attempt. This is the one-year anniversary of my being admitted to Pacific Gateway.
October 26. As a symbol of my rebirth, I begin to remodel my home.
November 9. I begin writing an article about my recovery from depression for a local newspaper.
November 20. The fifth “God meeting” takes place.
November 25. The symptoms of anxiety and depression have been absent for eight weeks. This means that my major depressive episode is now officially “in remission.”
December 10. My inner guidance tells me I am supposed to write an article about my experience.
December 18. The final “God meeting” is held at LEC.
January 15, 1998. The first Master Mind meeting is held in my house. Six members of the God group and I participate. Subsequent meetings will be held biweekly.
February 22, 1998. On my forty-ninth birthday, a party is held at my house to celebrate my emergence from the dark night of the soul. Many of my friends and the LEC support people attend. My article has turned into the beginning of a book.
December 10, 1998. The first draft of the book is complete. It's working title is When Going Through Hell…Don't Stop!
November 30, 1999. The book is published.
December 4. A book blessing is held at my home.
December 12. I make my first public appearance in which I share my story at the Living Enrichment Center.
December 13. The U.S. Surgeon General releases a groundbreaking report on the nation's mental health.
January, 2000. I begin giving workshops on my five part “better mood” program.
July, 2000. I create a web site in order to share my work. (www.healingfromdepression.com)
July 14. The three year anniversary of the first God meeting.
March, 2001. I begin to lead “Healing from Depression” classes/support groups to offer to others the same group support that healed me.