“Ma’s just trying to look out for you, Adie,” Buck said on the way over to her place.
“Well, she’s picked a sorrowful way to do it. What right has she got telling county I ain’t a good mama?”
“Adie, I don’t think that’s what she had in mind. It’s just—”
“If you’re gonna defend her I ain’t listening!” I put my hands over my ears.
When we got there, Verna was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping her coffee like nothing had changed. Meanwhile I was falling apart.
“What makes you think you have all the answers?” I asked the moment I got one foot in the door. Verna glanced up and heaved a sigh. Grace Annie was sitting on the kitchen floor playing with a wooden spoon. I reached down and picked her up and slammed the spoon down on Verna’s table.
“You got a husband run off,” I said, Grace Annie on my hip. “You ain’t done too good with Buck. And Austin, I know he’s back to being a baby, but you don’t even let him enjoy being one. Seeing as he don’t know any different, can’t you at least let him do that?” Verna didn’t bother to answer. She got up out of her chair and just poured herself another cup of coffee. I wanted to pull her hair out.
“You try to control everything and everybody, and you judge people. You do and you know it! And it’s not your job. Just how do you think Grace Annie is going to benefit by that? Huh?”
She sat like a rock roosting on a mountain.
“I know I made some mistakes and I should of been more careful, but didn’t you ever do anything wrong when you were learning?” I said, wondering if she’d even admit it if she had. I turned to Buck.
“And how come you ain’t standing up for me? We’re supposed to be a family. Stick together. What’s a matter with you? This is our baby I’m talking about! You just gonna let them take her away from us?”
“Adie, what’s the problem with letting Ma take care of her for a while?” Buck said.
“It ain’t just a while. It’s for an entire month. And County placed her here without even telling us.”
“I knew where she was,” Buck said.
“It would have been nice for you to have told me, don’t you think?”
“I figured you’d just have yourself a hissy fit, like you’re doing now,” he said.
Verna finally opened her mouth and joined in. “Adie, you best accept the fact she’s staying with me, at least until the hearing. If County says yer fit, you’ll get her back. If they don’t, you best, well, you best hope they let me adopt her,” Verna said. “That way you’ll get to see her.”
“Adopt her?” I said.
“Just what do you think a placement is?” Verna said.
“She’s not an orphan! They can’t just put her out for adoption—”
“They can do anything the law says they can.”
“And where did they get this idea I might not be fit to have her anyway? What’d you tell them?”
“Nothing they didn’t already know. You spend too much time tending chickens to do right by her, and they saw for theirselves what happened.”
“That was an accident, her falling, and you know it!”
“And what about that time you climbed around on them chicken coops all hours of the night—”
“It wasn’t night. It was her nap time, and I was fixing to be done in half an hour—”
“Well you weren’t, and it was a stupid thing to do. Leaving that baby alone in the house. You ain’t got a lick a’ sense.”
“Well, I made me a mistake is all. And anyway, that was ages ago!”
“What’s done is done,” Verna said. “I think you and Buck best go on home now. I got to give Grace Annie her bath and get her in bed.” Verna took the baby from me and headed toward the bathroom. Grace Annie let out a howl.
“It’s okay, honey,” I said. “Mama will be back.” Verna handed Grace Annie her favorite rubber duck. “We’re gonna have a nice bath, honey,” she crooned, taking her by the hand. Grace Annie grinned.
“Murphy says I can get a lawyer and have him in the courtroom with me the day of the hearing,” I called after her.
“Maybe you best do that,” Verna said. “You might could use one.” She turned around and looked me square in the eyes. Mine were having a hard time looking back. They were filled with too many tears to contain themselves. They went the only direction they could.
“C’mon Adie,” Buck said. “Let’s go.” He put his arm around me. “We can talk about this later when things cool down, okay?”
I went home thinking maybe this could bring us together. Make a real husband out of him—one of the worst things turning out to be the best things, like Mama was always talking about. But the truth is after that things got even worse. Buck sided with his ma. I took in more laundry and saved every penny I could to get a lawyer. Verna let me come over two times a week and spend an hour with Grace Annie. But she didn’t let me take her out of the yard. And I didn’t get enough money put together for the retainer that every one of them lawyers I called said they’d have to have before they’d come to court with me, so I ended up going alone. Willa Mae still wasn’t back from Tybee Island, and by the sound of her letters, she planned on staying a while. Something about an interesting gentleman friend she’d met. I didn’t know what to do. I was sure Murphy would give me the money if I asked, but I owed him so much already and I didn’t want to be leaning on Margaret Mary’s man. He was her husband. He shouldn’t be coming to my rescue all the time like he was mine. But I should of asked him, because it didn’t go well in court for me the day of the hearing. Verna had a lawyer with her. And she never said anything about her getting one! Why did she need a lawyer? I was the one they were trying to take the baby from. I found out soon enough. They were petitioning the court. When I got to sit in the witness chair and give a statement I was real surprised to see my sister Rebecca in the courtroom. I’d sent her a letter weeks ago asking her to come visit again and to bring Clarissa. That was before all this business with Grace Annie. I hadn’t heard back from her. There she was, just when I needed her.
The petition Verna’s attorney made to the court was a request for a contingency to give more time before the judge had to make a decision. The judge agreed and said for everyone to be back in six months and cracked his gravel.
“Court adjourned,” he said.
Six months! Annie would be a year old by then. Didn’t that judge realize how much time I was losing with my baby girl that I could never get back? I made my way to the back of the room. Rebecca rushed up to me.
“How’d you know to be here?” I said.
“Didn’t,” she said.
“Then how come—?”
“Pa’s had himself a heart attack.”
“Ooooh, noooo—”
“He’s got pneumonia and his kidneys is failing,” Rebecca said. “Ma says you best come right away, if you wanna see him.”
“Is he gonna die?” I started shaking. I wasn’t sure I could take any more bad news.
“He’s had a heart attack,” Rebecca said. “It looks bad, Adie. His liver’s probably shot, too.”
I got dizzy and lost my balance. Rebecca reached out to steady me. “Now, don’t go getting weak in the knees on me!” she exclaimed. “I need you to keep yourself together, you hear?” I nodded. “I’m having a hard enough time as it is what with Ma and the kids and—”
“Pa’s just got to see Grace Annie!” I wailed. “She’s Annie’s namesake. Just wait here a minute. I gotta talk to Buck’s mama.”
“Make it snappy,” Rebecca said. “We got a long drive.”
I went over to where Verma was huddled with Evelyn Mackey and told her about my pa.
“That’s a shame,” Verna said. “You go on and head back to Cold Rock. Buck’s old enough to fend for himself.”
“But Verna,” I said, “I’ve got to take Grace with me. She’s Annie’s namesake. Pa’s never even seen—”
“You ain’t taking Grace Annie,” Verna answered. “Didn’t you hear the judge?”
“Just so Pa can see her!” I said. “Please!”
“The baby ain’t going nowhere,” she snapped.
Miz Mackey stood there looking pleased Verna was standing her ground.
“You can come with us,” I said. “That’d be fine.”
“Adie,” she said. “Grace Annie and me can’t go prancing ’round the countryside. We got schedules to keep. And who’d take Austin anyhow?”
“We’ll take him, too—”
“Sorry about yer pa,” Verna said. “But yer wasting yer time. Like I said, Grace Annie ain’t going nowhere. And the only place I’m going is home.”
“Come on, Adie,” Rebecca said. “We gotta go.”
“But—”
“Miz Jenkins’ right,” Rebecca said. “You’re wasting your time.” Verna nodded, looking pleased Rebecca was agreeing with her. “You can’t turn hearts with them got none to begin with,” Rebecca deadpanned to Verna, catching her off guard.
“Hhmmm!” Verna huffed and marched out the courtroom door.
Miss Mackey crossed her arms and gave Rebecca a look like she was white trash and not fit to be in the courtroom.
“Bunch of pickled prunes,” Rebecca said and took my arm and steered me toward the door. Evelyn Mackey glared at us as we brushed past her.
“You work hard being ugly or were you born that way?” Rebecca said.
“Well, I never—”
“You have now,” Rebecca called out loudly.
Murphy and Margaret Mary were outside waiting for us, with the truck double-parked at the curb.
“Don’t you worry about a thing,” Murphy yelled.
He got out of the truck, told Worry to stay, then dashed around to the other side to help Margaret Mary. She was eight months pregnant, but Murphy took hold of her waist and lifted her gently to the ground like she was lighter than air.
Rebecca honked her horn and motioned for me to hurry up.
“I’m coming! Just a minute.”
Margaret Mary smoothed the front of her dress and waddled over and hugged me.
“Just go be with your pa, okay?” she said, patting her tummy. It was about to pop the buttons off her dress.
“But what about Grace—?” I wailed.
“Don’t worry about that, Adie. We ain’t gonna stand by and let that woman keep Grace,” Murphy said and slammed the door to the truck shut. “We’ll get Henry Durham on it soon as you get back. He’s the best lawyer around these parts, Adie. Don’t you worry!”
“Well, I don’t have near enough money saved up—”
“I’ll just have to add it to the chicken bill, now won’t I?” Murphy said. “Speaking on chickens, we’ll look after yours while you’re gone.”
“Oh Murphy, I can’t ask y’all to do that, what with the baby coming—”
“Sure you can,” he said. “I got my money invested in them. You ain’t paid it all back, remember?” he quipped and put his arm around my shoulder. Margaret Mary put hers around me too and grabbed hold of Murphy’s elbow.
I was sandwiched between two of the best folks God ever created. It made me blubber even more. Rebecca laid on the horn again.
Murphy pulled a handkerchief out of his back pocket. “Dry them eyes,” Murphy said and handed it to me. It was freshly ironed and smelled of aftershave.
“What have I ever done to have such good friends?” I said, wiping my tears.
“That’s the thing about friendship,” Murphy said. “It don’t need to be earned. It’s a paycheck waiting, just for showing up.”
Rebecca started honking non-stop. I threw up my arms and ran over to her car.
“Now, please don’t be having the baby while I’m gone,” I called out.
“No chance of that,” Murphy yelled. “Doc says we got at least another month.”
Rebecca tooted the horn and tore out of the parking lot with me half-hanging out of the front passenger door. “I ain’t got all day,” she said and hit the gas pedal.
It was the same car she had when I left Cold Rock, an old brown Ford with the fenders nearly rusted off. It wasn’t known to run all that good.
“Don’t worry,” Rebecca said. “I got a new man in my life. He’s a mechanic. Things don’t work out, least I got a new engine in this thing.” Rebecca slammed the car into third gear and hit the gas pedal. She turned the corner on two wheels and headed down Hog Mountain Road. I nearly fell out the door.
Rebecca’s first husband, Riley Hooper, had taught her to drive before he took off with that girl Roxanne, so she never learned right. Riley drove like a stock car driver determined to win. I think that was why most of Rebecca’s engines fell out. She drove just like him. She hadn’t improved at all since I last rode with her, but maybe her choice in men had.
“He’s a mechanic for real?” I asked.
“Can strip a car, shuffle the parts, and put ’em back like new,” she said.
“Well, that’s good,” I said. “That last one wasn’t very talented.”
“That one didn’t make no money to speak of,” she said, “but he had another talent that made up for it.” Rebecca turned to me and grinned. Talk like that made me feel uncomfortable. Buck had that same talent. And if practice makes perfect, like Mama always said, then he was pretty near perfect. Trouble is, he didn’t do all of his practicing at home.
“Why didn’t Clarissa come with you?”
“She’s with the kids,” Rebecca said. “Wait till you see her. She’s lost fifty pounds.”
“She has?”
“Joined Weight Watchers.”
“I’m real glad. I was worried on her.”
“You worry on everything, don’t you?” Rebecca said.
“Try not to, but—”
“No sense in it,” Rebecca said. “Life’s a card game, Adie. Just play the hand you’re dealt. Lose one hand, there’s another one being dealt.”
“Willa Mae says, ‘Life’s a kettle. Put in what you got.’”
“Who’s Willa Mae?”
“She’s a friend of mine. She has this journal she gave me to keep for her,” I said. “It’s written by this girl, Tempe, who was a slave a hundred years ago—”
“This Tempe girl worry on things, too?” Rebecca said.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Best I can tell she just opens her heart and lets what’s in it come out.”
“That don’t sound like one worrying on things. Maybe you can learn something from her.”
Rebecca opened up a sack on the seat cushion next to her and took out a sandwich.
“Help yourself,” she said. “Egg salad.”
I reached in the bag. Rebecca stepped on the gas pedal again. “Let’s see if this new engine’s any good.”
The old Ford flew down the road, the tires spraying chunks of gravel like a popcorn popper gone mad, while the car careened from side to side. Somehow, we managed to get to the fork in the road that led to the cabin with all of our body parts intact.
“Slow down and take that dirt road there, off to the left,” I said, pointing. Rebecca swerved the car onto the dirt, but she never slowed down. Rebecca was a reckless driver, but at least she was skilled at being one. We made it to the cabin.
I packed my green satchel with some of my things, tucked Tempe’s journal into a worn pillowcase, placed it on top, and we set out.
I didn’t see any evidence Buck had made it home from work and wondered if he was off somewhere with Imelda Jane. It wasn’t a good idea leaving him here to fend for himself.
“What’re you thinking about?” Rebecca asked, and started the car. “You got a mighty peculiar look on your face.”
I tossed my bag into the backseat. “Nothing.” Actually, I was thinking it was a sorrowful thing to be married to a man that needed babysitting. Especially now; I’d missed my monthly and my breasts were sore. That’s how it started with Grace Annie. I knew Buck wouldn’t be too happy if I was pregnant, seeing as we were still having money problems. Mama would say, “If you are, you are. Stop worrying on it, Adie. At least you don’t get morning sickness like I did each and every time.” Which was true; at least it had been with Grace Annie.
We drove in silence. No sense in telling Rebecca. She’d blab it to everyone. Right now she was busy anyway, checking the rearview mirror every few miles.
“What you looking at?” I asked.
“Making sure no one’s following us.”
“Who’d be following us?”
“The law,” she said and sped ahead.
Hog Gap and Cold Rock still had the mountain between them with no road cutting through. The only way to get from one spot to the other was to take the two-lane highway that ran around it. In the distance, Cold Rock Mountain rested like a fat king on his throne. The sides sparkled like jewels as the sun bounced off chunks of granite embedded along the edges.
When I was growing up, that mountain took the breath right out of me. For sure it was the most beautiful place in the world, until Annie died there. I looked up at that big fat king of a mountain, its belly a crystal lake that had no bottom.
Why’d you swallow Annie? She was good to you. Don’t you remember? She fed you flowers.