“It’s over three years that Maggie’s been gone, Lorraine,” Rob stated.
“I know how long it’s been. But she’s out there, Rob. I just know it. I can feel it in my bones. At first, I couldn’t feel anything, but now I know,” she explained.
“I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time for you to go back to work. Don’t you?” Rob said gently.
“Rob, if I go back to work, then who will continue the search for our daughter? You don’t think Detective Harker can keep looking on his own, do you?” she asked calmly.
“I actually do think Harker can keep looking without you. This isn’t just another case to him, Lorraine. He’s emotionally invested, and you know it. While he continues to search, we’ll keep praying. Can we agree we’ll trust Harker and try to get more of our life back? Can you do that?” Rob was practically begging.
Lorraine watched Rob closely. The years hadn’t been good to either of them. The prematurely gray hair and the lines around their eyes made them appear ten years older than their real ages. She knew the time had come to do something different. Maybe Rob was right, she thought. Rae Harker had a vested interest in finding Maggie. Maybe it was time for her to go back to work and to make life as normal as possible. She and Rob had managed to grow closer after Rob talked about leaving Lorraine and taking Keith with him. That was a wake-up call for Lorraine, and she didn’t want to lose them just as she had lost her daughter.
“OK,” Lorraine finally conceded. “I’ll look for a job. But only part time, OK? If it goes all right, then I’ll consider going back full time. How does that sound?” she asked, conflicted.
“That sounds like a great first step. If it’s too much for you, we’ll reconsider. But at least it’s a start,” Rob said soothingly.
Then he put his strong arms around her and pulled her close. She could hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, the sound that gave her comfort during her many sleepless nights since Maggie’s disappearance. Once they’d gotten past the turmoil that threatened to destroy their marriage, they’d become more tolerant of each other. Counseling had helped to keep them grounded.
When Rob went upstairs to find Keith, who had a ball game, Lorraine poured herself a cup of coffee and picked up the telephone.
“Harker here,” the voice on the other end said.
“Rae, it’s Lorraine. Listen. I’ve decided to go back to work part time. I’m going to see how it goes and then maybe I’ll go back full time,” she told him.
“That’s great news, Lorraine. I think it would be really good for you and your family.”
“Yeah, I’m sure it will be. But you know what this means, right?” she asked, knowing him well enough to consider him a friend.
“Of course I know. It means that you’re going to be even further up my ass to make sure I stay on Maggie’s case and follow every possible lead, even if it means I have to go without eating for days,” he joked.
Lorraine remembered the third week after Maggie’s disappearance, when she was irrational and not thinking straight. She had screamed at Harker, telling him there was no time to rest—even if it meant he had to starve to death. “Eat while you’re working! There isn’t time for that shit right now!” were her exact words.
Lorraine laughed at the vivid memory. “Yeah, well, I meant what I said, and I still stand by it today,” she said with a laugh. “All joking aside, Rae, I need to know you’ll be just as persistent without me up your ass every minute of the day,” she confessed.
“I give you my word. There is no one working on this case that wants her back more than I do. Well, except you and Rob, of course. Anyway, you know what I mean. Listen, find yourself a job you enjoy and try to make your life as normal as possible. It ain’t easy. You know I speak from experience. But at some point, it becomes your new normal,” Rae Harker assured her.
When Lorraine hung up the telephone, she called her old employer, the principal of the school where she’d taught eighth grade. The women had stayed in touch over the years. To Lorraine’s delight, she was able to go back to work part-time as a teacher’s assistant. There weren’t any openings for a part-time eighth-grade teacher, but the principal said that two teachers who were well into their sixties planned to retire in the near future. When Lorraine hung up the phone, it dawned on her that Maggie would be in the ninth grade by now. With a stab of longing to hold her daughter in her arms, Lorraine went to find Rob and Keith to share her good news.