It took several moments for Maggie to process what Colby had just said.
Seth has AIDS.
Seth has AIDS.
Seth has AIDS.
Finally, Maggie shook her head. “They must have mixed up his blood with someone else’s,” she stated in a small voice.
“No, Maggie. There wasn’t a mix-up,” Colby said.
Every fiber of Maggie’s body was rejecting the news that Colby had delivered. She was trying with all her might to change what she’d just heard. Seth couldn’t have AIDS. It wasn’t possible. Ding, ding, ding…her mind had hit on the truth, and it was quite possible that Seth had AIDS. But she continued to reject the information.
“No, it must be a mix-up. We didn’t ask for an AIDS test. Your friend must have confused Seth’s blood with someone else’s,” Maggie ranted with an edge in her voice.
He could see her breaking down. “My friend at the lab asked about Seth’s symptoms, and I gave her a rundown of the last five months. So, she decided to test him for AIDS,” Colby explained.
Maggie refused to allow Colby’s words to penetrate her brain. Pulling her voice from deep within her throat, Maggie asked again, “What did she say?”
When Colby swallowed, the gulping sound seemed to resonate off the walls around them. “The results showed that Seth has stage-three AIDS.” He let his words creep into her conscious mind and waited for her next question.
“How many stages are there? I read about AIDS a couple of years ago. Aren’t there, like, six stages?” Maggie’s voice screeched with desperation.
Colby put his strong arm tightly around Maggie’s shoulder. “No, Maggie. There are three stages.” He paused, trying not to rush through the information. “Stage three is the worst,” he said sadly.
Maggie leaned into Colby. Her chest heaved as the reality of the situation seeped into her emotional being. She lowered her head, and her tangled hair covered her face. As much as she wanted to argue that it wasn’t true, Maggie knew the truth deep within her soul. She had brushed away the dark feelings over the last three years whenever Seth got sick. It wasn’t until his illness five months ago that the seed of worry planted itself deeply in Maggie’s belly. Even then, she continued to dismiss her dark thoughts, pretending that her gut feeling was all an illusion. She ignored her instincts, and now her world crashed down upon her like a block of cement.
Maggie cried for close to an hour before she could speak again. She looked into Colby’s eyes, searching for a tiny glimmer of hope. But she saw nothing but sorrow there.
“What can I do for him? Is there medicine he can take?” Maggie managed.
“There’s medicine to keep him comfortable, but the disease has gone too far. I’m so sorry,” Colby said.
An hour later, when Colby was leaving, and Maggie’s next client was entering the apartment, she realized that her life before this moment wasn’t as bad as she’d thought. Before she learned that Seth had AIDS, there was a sliver of hope that one day, they’d all be free and maybe even happy.
She wanted to leave Rock’s shabby apartment, her home of prostitution, but the ramifications would be too great. Now, more than ever, she needed to be there for Seth. At the end of the long afternoon, she trudged back to her apartment. Inside, Seth was sitting on the floor with an open book, working on his math homework. Maggie went to him slowly and sat beside him.
“How are you, sweetie?” Maggie asked in a gentle voice.
Seth looked up at her, the ache in her voice startling him. “Fine. What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to know how you feel,” Maggie said, not knowing how she would ever be able to tell him the truth.
Maggie lifted his chin. Noticing the first purple spot on his neck, she stifled a groan that was lodged in her throat. The mark wasn’t there a week ago. Had she been so busy with her ridiculous life that she failed to see Seth degrading before her eyes? Guilt and remorse took hold of her. As she stiffened, and her eyes swam in a sea of regret, she began to rub his back softly.
“What’s wrong, Aggie? You’re scaring me,” Seth said, his senses electrifying his body.
Juju had been lying on the mattress, watching and listening to Maggie and Seth. She, too, was able to see the physical transformation in Maggie, and knew that whatever it was, it had to be bad news. She moved off the mattress and onto the floor next to Maggie.
Maggie looked from Juju to Seth and took the plunge. “Your blood-test results came back today.”
Maggie paused, trying to regroup. She willed herself not to cry.
“And?” Seth asked innocently.
“And…it shows you have AIDS,” Maggie whispered.
Seth shrugged. “So? What does that mean? Do I gotta drink more Gatorade?”
Juju’s eyes filled with tears, and she shot up and went into the bathroom. She knew, without being told, that it wouldn’t be good if Seth saw either of the girls being overly emotional. Besides, she had to process what she’d just heard.
“Sure,” Maggie answered. “Drinking Gatorade is good. But this disease is a really bad one.”
Seth looked at Maggie, his blue eyes curious. “What does it mean? I’m gonna get better, right?”
“I don’t know, baby. I just don’t know a lot about it yet,” Maggie said honestly.
Seth stared down at his textbook. “Is it something that the other kids in school can catch?”
“No, it’s not like that,” Maggie said with certainty.
“So what are we gonna do?” Seth asked, feeling the gravity of the situation, but not understanding what was happening to him.
“Colby is going to help us get some information on how we can help you. So, for right now, we’re going to wait to hear back from him,” Maggie explained, trying to buy time before having to fully explain AIDS to Seth.
Seth shrugged again. “OK.” He went back to doing his math homework.
In the early morning hours, after Maggie returned home from her shift at Doubles, she sat on the bathroom floor with Juju and explained all that Colby had told her.
“Are you saying it’s too late?” Juju finally asked, needing confirmation.
“Yes.”
The two young girls sat on the cold bathroom floor and wept.
Juju finally spoke. “At least he isn’t sick right now. That’s good, right?”
Maggie nodded. She knew there was nothing good about what was going to happen to Seth. She’d read everything she could get her hands on, trying to find out if there was any way to stop the disease from advancing further. She held out hope that the diagnosis was wrong, but she knew that she was simply avoiding the truth.
Maggie and Juju moved into the room where Seth lay sleeping on the old mattress. They squeezed onto the single mattress on either side of him, and each put an arm over him. It was a sleepless night, as each of them swam in their murky thoughts of the future.