Maggie clung to Seth with all her might as if she might keep him from dying.
“No, oh God, no. Seth. Please come back. Just for a little longer. I’m not ready yet,” Maggie cried.
She was lying on the mattress holding Seth’s dead body. Her grief exploded as her chest heaved, expanding and contracting violently. After a few minutes, Juju walked over to the mattress and pulled Maggie from Seth.
“Come here, Maggie,” Juju said, giving her a bear hug to settle her trembling body.
Maggie reached over and pulled Joey into them. The thirteen-year-old girl felt as though she was falling into an endless black hole. Her loss was unbearable. Seth was her best friend, and she loved him. Joey’s face and neck were blotchy, and the tears dribbled off her chin.
“What are we gonna do now?” Joey asked.
“I don’t know,” Maggie blubbered. “I just don’t know.”
Ron and Juliet Frey were huddled on the other side of the room. This was the second time they were grieving the loss of their child. It was an agonizing bereavement, and neither of them could believe what had happened. They were so grateful to be able to see their son again. But losing him again forever was a terrible blow.
Maggie came to her senses and felt something pricking the palm of her hand. She uncurled her fingers, and there sat the miniature, plastic, soldier. The toy Maggie and Juju had given to Seth when he was living with Thelma.
Maggie walked over to the Freys and held her hand out, palm up. “This is for you. Seth wanted you to have it. It was given to him several years ago. He had been living with that horrible woman I told you about, and his spirit was very broken at the time. I told him this soldier was a war hero, and I bought it for him because he was so brave. He wanted you to have it; he wanted you to be brave. This is Seth’s only possession, and he picked you two to keep it for him…a sign that Seth loved you,” Maggie offered. “He wouldn’t ever give this away to just anyone. It was his way of saying that he was happy that you found him. He told me it’s for you to remember him and to help other kids.”
Juliet and Ron looked at the cheap toy soldier. It was Seth’s only possession, kept bouncing around in Juliet’s mind. It’s for you to remember him and to help other kids.
Juliet grabbed Maggie around the waist and pulled her close. “Dear God, Maggie. You were a wonderful mother to our son. Ron and I, well, we want you to know it gives us comfort that you were with him when we couldn’t be. We’ll always be grateful for what you did for our baby.”
Three days later, a group of people gathered at a gravesite in New Jersey, close to where Juliet and Ron lived. To avoid making Rock suspicious, Colby had given other undercover agents money to pay to be with Maggie for the entire afternoon. He couldn’t risk Rock finding out that he and Maggie were working together.
Maggie, Juju, and Joey stood together on the side of Seth’s coffin with their heads hanging low. The Freys stood next to them, with twenty other family members and friends. As the priest said his final blessing, Juliet handed Maggie a single white rose. Maggie looked confused.
“Place the rose on top of the coffin,” Juliet whispered, her eyes teary.
Maggie stepped forward and gently placed the rose where she imagined Seth’s heart lay inside the gray box. She placed her hand on top of the coffin and said a silent prayer.
God, please keep Seth safe in your arms. He’s a good boy and didn’t deserve all the bad things that happened to him. And God, please make John William and Myles suffer agonizing deaths. So many have been lost because of them.
Maggie turned and took her place, watching as others put red roses on top of the coffin and headed back to their cars. She noticed Juju grab a woman’s hand. The woman put her arm around Juju, giving her comfort, and Maggie knew she was Juju’s girlfriend. It was so nice of her to come here for Juju, Maggie reflected. The crowd had thinned, and Juju pulled on Maggie’s arm.
“Maggie, this is my girlfriend, Rory,” Juju said quietly.
Maggie turned to the tall, blond-haired, brown-eyed woman. “Hi,” Maggie managed. “Thank you for coming.”
“Hi. I’m sorry we have to meet under these circumstances. I wanted to be here for Juju,” Rory explained.
“That’s great. It’s nice to meet you, and thanks again for coming,” Maggie said absentmindedly.
When it was only the Freys, Maggie, Joey, Juju, and Rory left, Maggie asked all of them for a moment alone. She stared at the name on the shiny rock. Seth. No last name, no date of birth or death, only his name.
Maggie felt as gloomy as the overcast, sunless sky was. She didn’t want to leave Seth there alone and imagined him when he was well. Her heart ached at the thought of going on without him. With her chin against her chest, she allowed herself to wail in the privacy of her own space and time. Her stomach twisted at the loss of Seth as her sorrow pressed in on her. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself. Then there was a gentle hand on her shoulder, and she turned to see Colby standing behind her.
“I’m so sorry, Maggie,” Colby said in a solemn voice.
Maggie and Colby had only seen each other a couple of times at Doubles during the final weeks of Seth’s life. While the Freys sneaked into the apartment every night, it was just too dangerous for Colby to be there too.
“Come on,” Colby urged her, “it’s time to go. You gave him all that you had, and he loved you more than he loved anyone else.”
Maggie nodded. “I know. It’s just that I never expected…I mean he always had bouts of coughing and…maybe if I had paid more attention, I could have saved him…gotten him medical attention before the disease took hold. I’ll never forgive myself for not knowing, not doing more. He trusted me.”
Maggie let out uncontrollable harrowing groans, and Colby snatched her up into his arms. Her body trembled as her despair took root in the center of her heart. She wanted to turn back time, she wanted Seth back in her arms and back in her life.
“N-n-nothing will ever be the same again,” Maggie wailed.
“No, it won’t,” Colby told her with determination. “But you can and will make a difference. I’ll see to that.”
As Maggie walked toward the car, Colby had her wrapped in his strong arms. Joey scampered toward them as they approached Colby’s car.
“Oh, Maggie,” Joey whimpered, “what will we do without him?”
Maggie remembered her promise to Seth: to take care of Joey. She opened her arms and clutched the young girl to her. In silence, Maggie, Juju, and Joey slid into the backseat of Colby’s car. As they drove away, Maggie took one last glimpse of the fresh gravesite, Seth’s final resting place.