Awakening from his first night in the hospital felt strange. Reade hurt all over and had a horrible headache. His parents, thankfully, were not in his room. He was alone with his pain and his thoughts.
How did I allow this to happen and what am I going to do about it? He loved Alex or he thought he loved him, but what would he do about his father’s ultimate threat? Harrold repeatedly told him that having fag friends was out of the question and being a fag son was not an option. If Reade came out, his father would make life miserable. And he certainly could do it too.
The duty nurse interrupted his thoughts as she came into the room for her morning rounds. Before she said or did anything Reade asked, “How is Alex? My mother said he was in bad shape.”
“Alex? Oh, right, the other person in your car.”
“Yes, I need to see him,” said Reade as he attempted to get out of the bed.
“You are not going anywhere,” chided the nurse as she held him down. “You can barely sit up and you have IVs in you. I’m not permitted to discuss his condition with you, but if I remember correctly he is in Intensive Care, so you wouldn’t be permitted to visit him in your condition, anyway.”
Angry, Reade settled back on the pillow. “Fine,” he snapped “but I need to know how he’s doing,” he asked showing pain and concern as he did.
“You know I could get into trouble for this considering the circumstances.” Before Reade could argue, she said, “But, I will do it for you. Just don’t tell your father that I did, okay?”
“Oh God, what did he do now?”
Candace opened Reade’s chart and showed him the memo attached to the notes page. It was from the hospital administrator saying that under no circumstances was anyone permitted to discuss Alex Newfeld’s condition with Reade. The memo went on to say the request came from a major benefactor of the hospital, thus violating the mandate would be reason for immediate dismissal.
“Why am I not surprised? My father hates Alex and thinks he is corrupting me. If he only knew,” said Reade looking at Candice like a scared child admitting to breaking the lamp.
Candice smiled the knowing smile of a mother. She had two children, could easily see past the words, and saw Reade’s fear. “I’ll keep your secret if you promise to keep mine. I need this job and can’t put my family’s future in jeopardy because of your father’s bigotry.”
The pact drawn, Candice finished her morning check of Reade’s vitals. “Breakfast is due in a few minutes, do you need anything?”
Reade shook his head then said, “Thank you for helping. I know my father can be a bastard, so don’t do anything that could get you fired. But I’d appreciate anything you can find out for me.”
Candice left Reade to his thoughts and finished her morning rounds.
From Reade’s first memory as a child, Harrold set the ground rules for living, accepting nothing less. He expected Reade to be a top performer in school. The first time Reade received a grade less than an A, he learned that his father could and would be brutal in his punishment. That day, Reade earned a major paddling on his naked rear end, and another one every day the following week. Sitting was near impossible but Harrold refused to allow his son any slack. Reade went to school and sat through the intense pain.
Ellissa tried to calm things down, only to receive a verbal thrashing from her husband, in front of their son. Harrold made it clear that he was in charge not Ellissa and that she had better learn her place.
From that day forward, mother and son had an unspoken bond. They learned how to hide from Harrold when he was in his usual arrogant and sour mood. Ellissa also learned how far she could push her husband. While he was usually impossible to control, her directness frequently made him step back. Harrold learned that his wife could be just as controlling with her love and affection, something he needed in their relationship.
When Reade was old enough, and with Ellissa’s prompting, Harrold agreed to enroll their son in a private boarding school. What Harrold didn’t know was mother and son discussed the idea and researched schools prior to Ellissa suggesting it to Harrold.
At first, he wondered if he could manage a life without his mother nearby, but soon realized most students, who attended the prestigious private school, were in the same situation as he. They needed an escape from a dominating parent or parents, thus private school was perfect for them. From the first day on campus, Reade felt that he had arrived.
Reade loved school. He made the learning experience into a personal challenge, not due to his father’s requirements, but his own. He wanted a life outside of his father’s world and knew that grades meant everything.
He also loved sports. Though not beefy enough for football, he made both the intramural soccer and baseball teams. He excelled in both endeavors. Harrold, much to both Ellissa’s and Reade’s disbelief approved of his role on the field. His only comment was, “Just make sure you maintain perfect grades. If one grade slips, you will be off the field.” His threats were unnecessary. Reade grew into his own person away from his father's constant harassment.
The one thing Harrold made very clear was that Reade would be part of Calan Industries. He was heir to the firm and was expected to learn everything about it from the ground up. Each summer from his fifteenth birthday on, Reade worked at Calan Industries. Harrold established a program similar to what an intern might expect, but Reade’s program started in the shop, not the office.
Reade learned manufacturing from the ground up. He swept floors, lugged scraps to the recycling bins, cleaned machines, and worked in the warehouse. He was even loaned out to companies that Calan Industries managed. Harrold expected Reade to learn and understand why Calan Industries was number one in providing the world with products the consumer had to have.
At first Reade felt used and abused by his father’s “Intern Program” but soon found he enjoyed the process. He learned the business, met people who became real friends, and was away from his father.
Once in college, Reade’s internship took on a different prospective. Reade was assigned to the senior vice president of marketing as an assistant and shadow. He was told repeatedly to listen and learn.
Studying political science and communications in college was Reade’s idea. He and Ellissa convinced Harrold that it was in Calan Industries’ best interest. Harrold agreed and continued to pay for Reade’s Ivy League education.
Calan Industries needed political favors, commercial dominance, and favorable financial agreements to maintain its lead in the industry. As Reade’s experience grew he witnessed Harrold and others in the company as they wined and dined CEOs, governors and other politicians, as well as the management of companies Calan wanted in their fold. To them, it was like a game of chess – they always stayed five moves ahead of their opponent.
Lying in the hospital bed, Reade began to think of his father as one of those opponents. He could continue to give in to his father’s outrageous demands, thus losing everything he desired in life. On the other hand, he could find a way around Harrold’s distorted sense of reality. If he came out as gay, not only would Harrold prevent him from seeing Alex, he would prevent him from having any life at all. Harrold would make sure his son was not a fag, no matter what it took from his son’s life.
He wanted freedom from Harrold, wanted to love Alex, and wanted to be his own person. Now he just needed a plan that would give him all that he desired.
*****
With the trooper’s help, the hospital social services person made contact with Alex’s mother. Gena Newfeld arrived the following day to find her son lying in a coma on the critical list. Next to her son’s bed sat a young man tenderly holding Alex’s hand.
“Are you Reade?” she whispered as she entered the room.
Startled by the voice, Jason looked up to see an older woman dressed, as he was, in a full paper gown, facemask, and protective gloves. “No, I’m not Reade,” he said as he followed the woman’s eyes to his hands. Suddenly very self conscious, he released Alex and stood up.
Turning toward the woman, “Umm, I’m Jason Heppman the paramedic that helped Alex at the scene of the accident,” extending his gloved hand to the woman now standing next to the bed.
Taking Jason’s hand Gena said, “I’m Gena Newfeld, Alex’s mother. I came as quickly as I could.”
Jason moved so Gena could sit next to her son and slid the second chair as close to the other side of the bed as possible. Gena looked down at her son — breathing tube in his mouth, probes connected to various parts of his body, heart monitor beeping with every beat of his heart, IVs dripping fluids into the veins in his hands.
The surgeons at first, were going to wait to set Alex’s broken arms and legs, but decided the severity of the breaks warranted the trauma of the procedures. Rather than cast his arms, they were encased in plastic splints to restrict movement. Both legs had compound fractures requiring extensive repairs. Each leg was in an open air splint that restricted movement while allowing access to the wounds. The sheet covered only the middle of Alex’s body since both legs lay on a specially designed tray for support.
His skin was mottled in shades of blue, green and brown from the impacts it received as he rolled down the embankment. She shuddered at the sight of her son’s battered body.
“I should be going. My shift starts in a couple of hours,” said Jason as he watched Gena assess her son.
“Tell me what happened. All I know is he was in a car accident while driving home from some company event with Reade.”
He knew nothing about this woman or her son. Does she accept that he is gay? Is he gay? Does she even know? Yes, Alex and Reade share an apartment but that’s all anyone was willing to say.
Jason could see the hurt in her eyes. I wonder if Alex has her blue eyes. “From what I’ve been told, he and Reade were driving home from a company event. For some reason Reade’s car crossed the line into oncoming traffic. The driver of the car he almost hit said Reade overcompensated as he tried to avoid the collision, swerved off the road, and rolled down an embankment.”
Gena’s hands moved to her face as she released a startled cry. “They said he was thrown from the car, but Reade was not. How could that happen?”
“I’ve been wondering about that myself. I’ve seen quite a few car accidents as a paramedic. Usually belted victims remain in the car. I have no idea if he was belted in or not. We found him at the bottom of the ravine.”
“What about Reade? Is he badly hurt, too?”
“He suffered several broken bones and a concussion, but nothing life threatening.” Jason’s anxiety showed in his voice and movements. He clearly didn’t know how to handle himself in this situation.
“When I walked in, you were holding my son’s hand. I could see the look on your face. It was a look of concern for a loved one.”
“I really have to get going Mrs. Newfeld. The nurses tell me that people in a coma can hear us, so talk to Alex and let him know his mother is here.” Jason walked out of the room, removed his protective coverings and left the ICU without another word.