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Chapter Seventeen

Howard

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I’d fallen asleep on the couch again. I woke up with a groan, arching my body and stretching out a few kinks in my neck. I felt uncomfortable, but instead of moving, I just remained curled on the couch after my stretch.

How many days had it been since I last stepped out of my apartment? I wasn’t sure, but my mind was groggy, and my body felt heavy. I somehow managed to get a cold, though it might be something a little more serious than that. I’d told Grady so the guys knew not to expect me for a while. Hopefully, it bought enough time for me to talk to Zoe about things before I completely refused the contract. I hated being sick, though, especially being sick by myself, which was how it usually happened.

A harsh cough wracked my body, and I winced as I wrapped a hand around my throat.

Damn, that hurts.

I was usually a healthy person. Aside from my brush with drugs, booze, and women, I ate healthy meals and exercised plenty. Something as simple as a cold, I maybe caught it a few times when I was a kid, but getting sick wasn’t something that happened often for me. This just happened to come at the worst moment, when I was at my lowest.

“Ugh.”

I groaned as my stomach lurched, curling around my middle. It wasn’t just pain, though. I was hungry. When I woke up in the morning, I felt worse than yesterday. I’d had something light and hot last night in the hope that I would wake up better, and yet, I only felt worse. I had hot chocolate for breakfast before settling down on the couch, beneath the blanket I‘d dragged from the bedroom.

Slipping off the couch, I dragged the blanket along with me, wrapping it around me as I walked to the kitchen. I hadn’t checked the time, but it should be around lunch, since the sunlight was reaching further into the room. Although, it could just be that I was hungry because I was trying to avoid heavy foods. I didn’t have much of an appetite, but I couldn’t not eat or I wouldn’t get better.

“Not that it seems to be helping,” I grumbled to myself.

It had been days, and I still felt this bad. I figured that meant it wasn’t actually a cold. I was starting to wonder if I shouldn’t just drag myself to the hospital already, but even if I could get myself out of the apartment, I couldn’t drive myself there. I could always call for a taxi, but with how weak I felt, I wondered if I wouldn’t collapse on the way first.

“Alright. What’s for lunch?”

I didn’t want to do anything elaborate, I didn’t feel like I had the energy for it, anyway. Just walking around, even though I was slow, I felt so dizzy I thought I’d faint right in the middle of my kitchen. I squinted my eyes against the brightness in my kitchen. At least I’d closed most of the curtains in the living room, but there was one medium window in the kitchen and no curtain.

There wasn’t much left in my apartment. I hadn’t been paying attention to the kitchen, so I hadn’t gone grocery shopping in more than a week. I knew I could have some stuff delivered to my doorstep, but there was no need to wait for something.

I found a pack of instant noodles in one of my cupboards, chicken flavor, and decided it would be good enough for lunch. While not that healthy, I figured once wouldn’t kill me. If I wasn’t okay by the time it was dinner, I’d have to figure something out.

Maybe I really will go to a hospital. Tomorrow.

Other than painkillers, I didn’t have any meds to take at home. I went to grab the Tylenol I’d left in my bedroom and swallowed two pills with water. I clamped a hand over my mouth, pressing my other hand to my stomach and swallowed convulsively, trying to keep it down. It took a minute before the urge to puke vanished, and my water had boiled by then.

I added some extra water to boil once I had my noodles done. I could mix in some fresh lemon juice for my throat.

With my meal prepared, I went back to the living room with it, where the lighting wasn’t so bright, and curled on the couch. I turned the TV on to some sports channel. There wasn’t a game on, but I watched the news as I slowly ate my noodles. The lemon water was warm by the time I got to drink it, and it did feel like my aching throat was soothed a bit.

I didn’t feel like walking all the way back to the kitchen. Just that much action felt like it had sapped all my strength. So I left everything on the table and lied back down. I was a little hot from the meal, but I kept the blanket wrapped around me regardless.

The TV stayed on, leaving the volume on low for background noise. I didn’t have the motivation to do anything. Closing my eyes, I fell into a fitful sleep.

It could have been hours later when I woke up with the ache in my stomach, only worse. Groaning, I curled around my middle, pressing a hand against my stomach as if it would stop the pain. Then, I felt bile rising up my throat.

Fuck.

Scrambling off the seat, moving faster than I had in days, I rushed for my bathroom and made it just in time to vomit everything I’d eaten for lunch into the toilet bowl. I barely had time to breath, and I choked on my own vomit and started coughing. I wrapped a hand around my throat, not that it did anything for the ache that had come back with a vengeance, making my whole body shudder every time I coughed, and my stomach wasn’t empty yet.

“Howard!”

I was surprised by the call of my name, and even more when I felt a hand patting my back, then fingers weaving through my hair. My mind was still a bit hazy, so I couldn’t tell who it was or how they got into my apartment. I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t. Still, those gentle hands stayed, and I had to admit, it made me feel a bit relieved. My body didn’t immediately calm down, but it felt like everything was going to be okay now.

When I finally stopped, I felt exhausted, and had to brace with my arms against the toilet bowl so I wouldn’t fall forward and knock myself out on the porcelain.

“Lean back.”

I did as the voice wanted, wobbling a little as I straightened as best as I could, even with my mind swaying. I felt a cold, wet cloth touch my face, and it was enough to jolt me out of my stupor. I looked up, only to realize it was Zoe kneeling beside me, helping me clean up the vomit that got on my face and clothes. Even though it was fucking gross, and the smell was making me want to bend over the bowl again, her expression was serious as her eyes focused on what she was doing.

“Zoe, how did you get here?” I murmured. “I’m not dreaming, am I?”

She gave a pained smile, pulling the wet cloth away. “Of course, you’re not dreaming, Howard. It would be closer to a hallucination with the kind of fever you’re running.” She frowned, worry taking over her expression. “When did you get so sick? Don’t tell me you’ve been like this, alone, the whole time?”

Her hand raised, and my eyes slid closed, the muscles in my body relaxing a little when I felt her cold fingers on my burning skin.

“Maybe a couple days ago?” I mumbled. “It wasn’t this bad at first, I didn’t realize I was getting worse. I thought I could handle it on my own.”

She growled. “Fuck, Howard! You had your front door open and you’re this bad! You live in a relatively safe neighborhood, but that was still reckless. If someone had come in here, even if they were unarmed, they would have just walked away with what they wanted, and who knows what they would have done to you.”

I looked up, blinking at her in confusion. “What? It’s open? Since when...”

Did I open my door? I hadn’t stepped out since I got sick. I hadn’t left the apartment a couple days before I got sick. The last time I opened it up for anything was lunch yesterday when I’d ordered food delivered from some restaurant instead of cooking. Don’t tell me... my door had been open since yesterday? I shuddered. Zoe was right. The area was pretty safe, or something definitely would have happened to me. I didn’t have the kind of strength to fight anyone off.

Zoe groaned. “You’re hopeless. It’s a good thing I came here, who knows what could have happened to you if left to your own devices for long? Anyway, if you’re done here, let’s get you back to the couch.”

Her arms wrapped around me and tried to lift me up. I helped by pushing myself to my feet, then wrapped my arms tight around her, burying my face in her shoulder. She was stiff for a second before she relaxed.

“Howard?” she said, voice soft.

I buried my nose in her shoulder and breathed in her scent. I felt terrible, but having her there with me made me feel ten times better. My eyes stung with tears, and I squeezed them close so they wouldn’t spill. When was the last time I cried? Back in high school when I got injured playing. I broke my arm,

It’s probably because I’m sick.

“Sorry,” I murmured, voice trembling slightly. “I’m probably disgusting, you can have a shower later, but let me hold you like this, just for a little bit.”

It was delayed, but Zoe was finally here, of course I would feel happy. My eyes stung, and I sniffled, but I refused to cry. I didn’t want her to worry, and I didn’t want to appear so weak in front of her, though I had a feeling I’d already failed in that.

Zoe sighed, and I felt her hand in my hair again, her other hand rubbing soothing circles into my back. “You can hug me as much as you want, but can I get you to the couch first? I’ll need to clean up in here, and you might want some water.”

With some coaxing, she got me to release her. We walked over to the sink where I rinsed my mouth out, and she led me to the couch and pushed lightly until I fell onto it, then she walked away. I watched her, wanting to call her back, but I realized she was in my apartment now. As long as she didn’t walk out the front door, I would see her again.

Feeling my body start to shiver, I pulled my blanket around me, and waited for her to come back. I heard the toilet flush, then Zoe went into the kitchen and came back with a glass of water for me.

“Here, drink this. If you can keep the water down, I’ll see about making you something to eat. If you can’t keep even water down, then I should probably take you to a hospital.”

“What time is it?” I asked.

“It’s late, or I would have insisted on taking you to the hospital right now. If your fever doesn’t go down, I’ll at least go to a pharmacy to get you some meds. Now, come on, drink the water.”

I took the glass she handed to me, and quickly gulped down its contents, only then realizing how thirsty I was. I almost asked for more, but my stomach still felt funny, and I decided against it. She had her hand outstretched to take the glass, but I set it down on the table instead and took her hand in mine, tugging her until she sat down next to me, and wrapped my arms around her again, dragging her under the blanket with me.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” I murmured into her shoulder.

She grumbled. “You’re hot, Howard, and sweaty. You should probably take a hot bath.”

“Later,” I insisted.

“Even if I offer to join you?”

I hesitated. The idea of Zoe helping me in the bath was a good one, but I really didn’t feel like moving anymore.

“Later,” I said. “You were gone for so long. I was worried you wouldn’t come back. I just want to hold you for a bit.”

“Why on earth would I go anywhere?” She said, chuckling. “I’m sorry I didn’t speak to you for the past few weeks. I went to visit my grandmother, she lives in Montana.”

“But my calls, texts, voice mails... you could have answered at least once to let me know you were okay, even if you didn’t tell me where you were.”

“Sorry I ignored you,” she said with some guilt. “I just had some things to think over, but I’m done thinking now. I need to talk to you. It’s important, so can you let me go?”

Reluctantly, I released her. She settled with her legs curled up beneath her on the couch, facing me.

“Before you say anything, did Kayla tell you that I contacted her?”

She hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah, she did tell me that the two of you met. And she told you about the job proposal I got from Brandon Taylor.”

“She told me. What I do wish is that you’d been the one to tell me instead of running off.”

Her eyes flitted away. “It wasn’t that simple.”

“But it’s the job you’ve always wanted,” I cut in. “You’ve told me over and over how much you want that job. I should have figured out that something like this would have happened. It doesn’t matter if regulations say you can’t date a player on the team. Just take the job and I’ll look for another team.”

“Don’t you dare,” she growled. “I want you to play for this team, Howard. That hasn’t changed. We’ll work something around it, but that’s not the problem. There’s something else that’s more important.”

“So, tell me,” I said.

She bit her lip, then took in a deep breath, then met my gaze. “Howard, I’m pregnant.”

I blinked, tilting my head to the side. “What?”

“I said I’m pregnant,” she snapped nervously, clasping her hands together. “Sorry, I wanted to tell you after I knew for sure, I was just planning on when, but then I got the job offer and I just got a little confused, so I left to get my shit together. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.”

“Zoe,” I breathed out.

“You’re not... mad or anything, are you?”

That surprised me enough that I broke out laughing. “Zoe, how could I be mad? You’re pregnant! We’re going to have a baby!”

She looked surprised that I was so excited. Laughing, I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tight. Even I was surprised by how excited I was about this. I’d never thought about having kids before, but it suddenly seemed like the best thing in the world.

Even better, was that it was with Zoe. With this, there was no way I could still hold back.

“There’s just one thing we need to do,” I said, pulling away, mood falling a little.

If it could wait, I wouldn’t mind putting this off. I wasn’t looking forward to it, except I kind of was, because I didn’t have to hide my relationship with Zoe anymore, and we had a relationship now.

My mood lifted a little.

“What is it?” she asked, looking a little dazed.

My expression was serious as I took her hands in mine. “We need to face your dad.”