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I was nervous. I had every right to be.
“Are you sure you’re okay now?” I asked. “Maybe we should go to the doctor after all.”
Howard just chuckled and pulled me into his arms. His body was hot against mine, but his fever had definitely gone down since last night, and he could keep food down. I didn’t think he was well enough to be facing my dad, though, but Howard disagreed.
“Come on. I already called Mom and told her we’d be on our way. She’s keeping it a secret from Ben for now. We can join them for dinner.”
I hadn’t seen Dad in weeks, but he hadn’t tried to call me in that time. When I got back, the first thing I did was go see how Howard was doing, only to find he was sick and he hadn’t even locked his door. I didn’t think a day was long enough for him to get better, but he seemed completely sure that the illness had run its course.
“Let me carry your stuff down to the car,” he offered.
I came with all my luggage to his doorstep, though I didn’t intend to spend the night. There was just no way I could have left him the way I found him.
“It’s fine. You were just sick, I can take them down.”
He pressed a quick kiss to my lips to cut off my complaint, then went to where my luggage was sitting behind the couch.
“I’m fine, Zoe. Now, come on. We still have plenty to talk about, but we need to tell our parents about us. I’m tired of hiding, and I want my mom to be the first to know I’m going to be a dad.”
I grumbled, but took his hand when he held it out for me. “Your mom won’t be the first, Kayla was. Well, if we’re being technical, I was first, she was second. You’re third, so that would make her fourth, wouldn’t it? With Dad there, they’d be tying.”
Howard squeezed my hand and gave me an indulgent look. “Then, I want her to be the first person I tell. Is that better?”
We walked out of the apartment, and he paused to lock the door behind him, then took my hand back in one hand, my luggage in the other, and led us to the building’s parking space, where he had his car. He put my luggage in the trunk, then we got inside the car and he pulled out to the street.
It was in the evening so it was dark out already. There was some light traffic as a bunch of people who just got off work flooded the streets. I played with my fingers in my lap while I looked outside, feeling restless. Then I felt Howard’s hand fall on top of mine, and I stopped fidgeting to turn and face him.
“You don’t have to be so nervous.”
I chuckled darkly. “Actually, Howard I think you need to be a bit more nervous about this. You know what my dad is like. If he could hold a contract over your head to force you to stay away from me, do you really think he’s going to take this so easily?”
“I never said I wasn’t nervous,” he pointed out. “Just not as much as you. Yeah, I’m worried he’ll still try to separate us, but Zoe, we’re both adults. Right now, you still live at home, but you can move at any time, and it’s not like he can stop you. Even without your dad’s blessings, I don’t plan to just let you go.”
My face grew hot, and I knew I was blushing. I turned my head to stare outside my window, trying to control the smile that wanted to break out on my face. I’d calmed down a little, because Howard’s words made me happy.
Why did I wait so long to come back?
Now that I thought about it, leaving had done a lot to calm me down. I’d loved living with Grandma for those few weeks, but I’d made Howard so worried over nothing. Grandma was right, instead of worrying by myself I should have just talked to him so we could make decisions together. I’d been worried about what Howard would think of me being pregnant, or the issue with me getting my dream job, but he’d said to table those discussions for a couple days. We’d talk everything over, but I knew he was genuinely happy that I was pregnant.
It was a surprise, a good one. Now, if only Dad would be as happy to hear the news.
“We’re here,” Howard said.
Even though I’d lived there most of my life, I hadn’t noticed we’d arrived because I was lost in my giddy thoughts.
“You’re really moving fast with this, aren’t you,” I murmured. “It’s like you think I plan to run away so you’re staking your claim early.”
He squeezed my hand and leaned across the seat to peck my cheek. “I’m hoping you won’t run away, and we’ve been apart for longer than I can stand, Zoe, so I really want to get this over with. No more hiding, no more avoiding. And stop trying to stall, they should be waiting for us inside.”
I pouted and stepped out of the car as he did. He got my luggage out of the trunk and brought them up to the porch. I knocked on the door, my anxiety coming back. A minute later, Katie opened the door.
“Zoe, Howard. I didn’t know you’d be together.”
“I just came back from my grandma’s place and stopped by Howard’s apartment, and he gave me a ride back.”
“Oh? His apartment, the place even I haven’t been to yet?”
She sent him a pointed look, and Howard just chuckled. She stepped aside to let us in, and Howard took my stuff inside, leaving them in the living room.
“Your dad is already in the kitchen, Zoe. You can go in and see him. He hasn’t said it, but I know he’s been worried about you.”
“I hope you saved some dinner for us, Mom.”
“I waited for you,” she said, smacking his arms. “Ben is a little impatient, so hurry up.”
Dad was sitting on the dining table, face sour. The table was set, but he wasn’t eating, and the smell was amazing, so that was probably why. When I walked into the kitchen he looked up and smiled.
“Zoe. Did you just get back?”
“Yeah.” To the house, that is. I was in town yesterday.
He stood up, arms held open, and I went to give him a hug. The smile got replaced by the sour look when Howard walked into the kitchen behind me with his mother.
“Howard,” he said, voice flat and unimpressed. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”
“He drove me home, Dad,” I said quickly before he got the wrong idea. “I came from Grandma’s. She said hi.”
He snorted in disbelief, and I couldn’t blame him there. He already knew she didn’t like him, that was why he never went to visit.
“Sit down, both of you. I assume we can eat now?”
He arched an eyebrow at Katie, who just laughed.
“Everyone, please, eat.”
Howard and I shared a glance. Without words, we both decided not to say anything while we were eating. Even with Howard there, Dad seemed to enjoy his dinner, and it relieved me a little that he was relaxed. By the time we were all done, I wondered if this would go okay.
Come to think of it, wasn’t this how all the other big announcements were made? With us sitting down to dinner, though Howard had been absent for the marriage admission.
If I told Dad we’d eloped and got married, what would his reaction be like? I was maybe a bit vindictive, but my thoughts were half hysterical by that point.
Katie stood up to remove the dishes, and I followed.
“No, no, Zoe, you sit down,” she said insistently. “I have this.”
“Okay,” I murmured, sitting back down.
It took her two whole trips to take everything to the sink. Howard patted my hand.
“Don’t worry,” he said, leaning in close to whisper. “Mom’s always like that, so don’t let it bother you.”
I arched an eyebrow at him. He’d told me he’d helped out at home starting middle school. Did he have to fight with his mom over chores?
I turned back to Dad, and his good mood seemed to have disappeared once more. He had his eyes narrowed on the small space between Howard and me, and where his hand touched me.
“Dad,” I said, pulling his attention to me. “Howard and I came here because there’s something I wanted to tell you.”
“Oh? What is it?”
I took in a deep breath to calm my nerves, and blurted the truth out.
“Dad, I’m pregnant. Howard is the dad, and we’re in love with each other.”
Howard squeezed my arm, as if he was surprised I’d just come out with it, but I was surprised, too. Though my voice remained steady, on the inside, I was starting to wonder if I shouldn’t have eaten less. Maybe this was the rumored morning sickness? I’d heard it wasn’t just restricted to mornings.
Even Katie must have been surprised. I heard a loud crush from the sink, but I didn’t look over to see if anything was broken, or if she was even okay.
“Excuse me?” Dad said, expression thunderous.
I winced. “You heard me, Dad. I’m in love with Howard. We’re going to have a baby, and nothing, not even you, is going to tear us apart.”
“When the hell did this happen! Zoe, I told you a long time ago to stay away from him, and Howard, you were supposed to stay the hell away from my daughter!”
Dad was yelling. Unless he was on the field, he didn’t yell often, and the only time I remembered him yelling at me was when I was a kid and I ran into the road without noticing the car coming down it. Back then, he had been scared, and relieved. Today, though, he was very obviously angry.
Katie had come back, and she grabbed his arm, patting his shoulder, trying to soothe him. Dad didn’t even seem to notice she was there, glaring at us.
“With all due respect, sir,” Howard said, and I was impressed when he could keep his voice level. “I don’t know when you and my mother started dating, but Zoe and I were together before you even told us about it. This was long before you gave me the condition to sign on with the team as long as I stayed away from Zoe.”
Katie frowned and looked up at Dad. “Ben, is that true? I was happy when you told me he would be drafted, but I didn’t know you’d try something like that.”
“What else was I supposed to do?” He said, growing defensive. “Katie, we’re married now. They are step siblings. Does this not bother you at all?”
She didn’t say anything, but I could tell from her expression that she was more shocked than bothered by it. Dad seemed to read the same thing, because he cursed under his breath and turned to the two of us. He opened his mouth, but didn’t say anything.
It would be difficult now, if he told us to break up. We weren’t just hooking up now, we were going to have a baby together. There was no way I could hide that, and Dad wasn’t heartless enough to tell me to get an abortion.
“Dad,” I said pleadingly. “Can you really not accept this? There’s nothing wrong with it. No one will say anything, and even if they do, it shouldn’t matter.”
“No! I have no daughter if you’re serious about going through with this, Zoe!”
I flinched, the words catching me off guard. There were a lot of times when I got irritated at my dad and felt I would be happier if we lived apart, but I couldn’t deny that the words hurt. A lot.
“That’s fine,” Howard said firmly, his arm wrapping around my shoulders. “Even if you don’t want her, Coach, I’ve got her. If you want us out of your lives, then fine.”
Howard nudged me to get up, and I did so in a bit of a daze. Dad looked like he was about to yell, but Katie beat him to it.
“Ben! I am not willing to give up on my son and my grandchild, so if you were really serious with what you just said, you better think twice about it. And you should apologize to Zoe! What a thing to say to your own daughter! I want us to be a family, not for you to tear it apart!”
Howard and I had both frozen in surprise at her outburst. Dad seemed the most surprised, and he even looked a bit chastened. I thought he’d calmed down a little, and took a step closer hopefully.
“Dad, do you want the same thing, too? I know you don’t like Howard because of his past, but I can swear that he isn’t like that anymore!”
He scoffed. “Then where the hell was he the past week instead of showing up to practice?”
“Howard has been sick at home, really. Actually... I got back yesterday,” I admitted. “I found him puking, with a fever. He really was sick, Dad.”
That caught him off guard, and he had nothing to say. Katie, however, looked at Howard fretfully, and I figured he hadn’t told her he was sick, either.
Dad let out a sigh. “You’re my daughter, Zoe. You’re the most important thing to me, of course I want that, too. Even if it’s... to that guy.”
“Hey, now,” Katie said, but she was smiling. “That guy is my son, Ben, and he has a name.”
Dad rolled his eyes, and I could feel the vice in my chest relax. “Fine, Howard. You and I are going to have a bit of a chat.”