35

 

Madeline tightened her grip on the cane. Justain should be deemed the master of confusion. He said he hated her, all the St. Jameses. Now he wanted her again?

Justain stepped closer. The light from the oil lamp streaked highlights in his rich sable hair. “Stay in my arms tonight.”

“Why? Concerned I’ll stab you in your sleep? Never know what treachery a St. James will wreak.”

He smirked then bent forward and put his lips onto her forehead. “I haven’t forgotten your nightly kissing ritual.”

“Let’s not pretend.” She sighed and tilted away from his handsome face. “That token meant something to my parents.”

“It means something to me, too. It means we will start over, Madeline Delveaux.”

She eased to the floor, but her cane made an ominous thud. “Only time will ease your mind.” Madeline patted his lapel. “I’m going to go relieve Meriwether.”

Justain put his hands upon her shoulders. He smoothed the fabric of her robe.

Madeline’s muscles tensed, but he worked a gentle path down her back.

Her reserve waned, and she leaned into him. Why couldn’t he be her rock, someone to depend upon when…“Please stop.” Her voice was a mere whisper. “This sweetness will disappear with the next bad wind.”

“I want you in my arms.” He brushed his knuckles along the nape of her neck. His rough skin sent shivers through her.

“You’ve been riding a lot and still haven’t worn gloves.” Madeline pulled away and started for the door.

Justain blocked her exit. “There’s something intoxicating, feeling power beneath my fingers.” He traced her sides with his palms.

Her knees felt weak. Why was he doing this? He’d just shred her heart to ribbons again.

His arms wrapped around Madeline, and he tugged her against his chest. “I’ve fouled up too many words. I need to show you how much I care. You’ve infected my soul, Madeline, a fever I shan’t resist.”

“Now I’m a sickness?” Madeline pushed at his hands. “You’ll recover well enough. Nothing lasts.” She shook her head. “I don’t have the strength to watch your favour disappear again.”

Justain spun her around and whipped her up into the air. Her cane fell to the carpet; the sea of sapphire muffled its impact.

Madeline clutched at his robe. “What?”

He swept across the floor. “I’m putting my wife to bed.” Justain nestled her amongst the pillows and joined her near the mattress’s edge.

She tried to sit up. Her thumbs stumbled across the sleek linen of his nightshirt. Madeline snatched her hands back. There had to be away to escape caring so much, of wanting his strong arms about her. She moved away from him. “Please, get me my cane.”

Justain flung one arm behind his head and with the other, he clasped her hand. “Something should be painted on the canopy. Maybe a mural of stars, or perhaps sheep jumping over the moon.”

She rolled her eyes. “No more delays. I need to go.”

“I need you.”

She sat up and gazed at him.

His jaw quivered as if he struggled to choose the right words. “I need you, Madeline. I’ll shout it to the rooftops; make a spectacle of myself, if that’s what it takes for you to believe me.

“No riddles. Not tonight, Justain.”

“You’re the wordsmith, not me. It frightens me to think of you hating me.” He thumbed his chest. “You’ve dug somewhere up in here, and I’m a coward to run from these feelings.”

She shouldn’t look into those woe-filled eyes. She melted against him as his hands tightened about her, as he towed her close.

“Rest in my embrace.” His lips met her cheekbone, and a line of fire washed across it. “Forgive me in spite of all the foolish things I’ve said.” Justain nibbled his way to the hollow of her throat. “Tell me we still have a chance, Maddie.” His shallow breaths tickled. He nuzzled the cut of her chin.

Madeline didn’t know what to do with her hands. They tangled in the folds of his robe.

He nipped her jaw with his teeth. “I won’t disappoint you again.”

“We do find ways to be at cross purposes.” She touched his side, numbered his ribs. “But Father needs me.”

Justain rolled onto his back and expelled his breath. “Then you must go to him.” He trudged over to the chaise and retrieved her cane. His countenance was blank save a tight smile. Was he wounded by their disagreements, her lack of trust?

“Don’t over task yourself.” He lay back down on the mattress.

Madeline pattered around the bed. She put her hand on the crystal doorknob, but didn’t turn it. “Why do you make everything a test of loyalty?”

He sat up with his long legs draped over the side. “I’m not asking you to choose.”

“Yes, you are. If I go through this door, you’ll always believe I’ll side with Father over you.”

“I won’t, but it’s easy for me to think the worst.” His gaze lowered to the carpet. “Madeline, I know I don’t deserve you.”

Her heart ached. She slipped to the headboard, picked up a pillow, and with all her might, hit him across his face.

He grabbed her hand. “Must I make you angry for you to choose me?” Justain enfolded her in his arms and lifted her to his chest. He bussed her forehead. “Rest, in my arms. I’ll wake you in a few hours.”

This mood of his might pass, but right now Madeline wanted to pretend Justain loved her, that she had one person in this world on whom she could depend. She laid her cheek against his lapel and savoured the sandalwood adorning his neck.

 

****

 

The bells of St. Mary's awoke her. Sunlight streamed through the window. Such a solemn noise for what appeared to be the beginnings of a beautiful day. Sleeping with Justain’s strong arms around her felt so nice, so perfect. Where was he?

She rubbed her eyes.

Justain perched at the edge of her bed. “Madeline.”

She stretched and pushed away the linen sheet. “Have two hours past?”

Concern filled his watchful gaze. His sky-blue eyes seemed sad. “More than two. I let you sleep.”

“Oh.” She sat up. “I’ll have to hurry to join Father for breakfast. Send for Anne?”

“I will.” He stood then paced on the rug.

“Justain, you’re dressed.” His intricate cravat adorned a navy jacket and a dark green waistcoat. “How long have you been up?”

The bell tolled again.

“There’s no easy way to say this.” He took her palm in his hand. “Madeline, your father passed during the night.”