CHAPTER 3

A NIGHTMARE SECRET

“I brought you gummy bears!” Rana’s voice called from the front of the apartment.

Sofia quickly hopped down from her bed and started stretching on the floor. A moment later, Rana appeared in the doorway. Tia stood behind her, wearing her scrubs and a smile.

“I have to go in—the hospital just called,” Tia said. “Don’t overdo it with the exercises!”

“I won’t,” Sofia promised.

She pressed her legs into splits on the floor. It was amazing how much stiffer she’d gotten during just two weeks away from the gym. She focused on relaxing her hamstrings while keeping her leg muscles loose.

“Your splits are already better than mine, and I didn’t even try to bust a hole in the beam with my skull,” Rana said. She plopped down on Sofia’s bed and tossed her a packet of gummy bears.

Sofia focused on the candy. “Mmm, thanks,” she said. She ripped open the bag and bit the head off a red bear. “You’re the best to come over every day like this.”

A concussion and forced rest hadn’t exactly felt like a vacation. The pain in Sofia’s head had faded, but every time she thought about going back to the gym, she felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

It was weird. She’d never felt that way after any of her other spills. After those injuries, all she could think about was getting back onto the equipment. She’d shown up every day to stretch with the team. Now she felt like she wanted to hide.

“I bet you can’t wait to get back to the gym and see everyone else,” Rana said.

Sofia pressed her face to her knee so she wouldn’t have to look at her friend. Suddenly the image of the beam flying up to meet her, then the impact, slammed into her brain. It was as if it were happening all over again.

Sofia inhaled sharply. What is wrong with me? she thought. Every time someone brought up her accident—or going back to the gym—this happened. It was like she was reliving her injury all over again.

“So when are you coming back?” Rana asked. “I hate being there without you.”

Sofia cleared her throat. “Dr. Berman cleared me this morning,” she finally said.

“Oh, awesome!” Rana bounced up on the bed. “Have you told Coach?”

Sofia pretended to be fascinated with her carpet. “Yeah,” she said. “I mean, no. I haven’t told Coach.”

Silence fell in the room. Sofia finally looked up at Rana. Her friend was giving her a strange look.

“What’s going on?” Rana asked. “You’re acting weird.”

Sofia pressed her face back to her knee. She had to get away from Rana’s gaze.

“I’m fine,” she said. “Just quit asking me so many questions!”

The last words came out as a shout. Sofia glanced up. Rana’s face grew blotchy, the way it always did when she was fighting back tears.

Shame welled up in Sofia. Not only was she letting down the team, now she was snapping at her best friend.

“OK, jeez,” Rana muttered, climbing off the bed and heading for the door. “Forget I asked. Mom’s getting my new leotard today. I’d better go home and try it on.”

“Send me a picture!” Sofia called after her friend.

Once she was alone, Sofia curled up on the bed. She pulled her comforter up over her shoulders. She didn’t want anyone—especially Rana—to know how much time she’d spent in this position the past couple of weeks.

Eventually Sofia drifted off to sleep. Almost immediately, the nightmare started again. She was back in the gym, on the beam. She could feel every detail—the grippy leather, the hard beam, her heart beating so loudly it seemed to fill the entire gym.

“Go!” Coach Jackson shouted, but her voice was distorted.

As if she were a puppet, Sofia felt herself whirling on the beam. She could sense what was coming, but she couldn’t stop her body.

“Stop! Stop!” Sofia cried out to her dream self. But she couldn’t. It was like Coach Jackson was controlling her somehow.

Then it came—the boom!

Sofia’s foot slipped, and she was whirling one last time. She knew what was coming—she always did. Her head was going to hit the beam.

Sofia started awake, gripping her pillow, sweat covering her body. She flung the covers off to get some air and tried to slow her breath.

She hadn’t told anyone—not Rana, not her coach, not Tia—about the nightmare that had been coming every night since the accident. And no matter what she did, Sofia couldn’t seem to get her fall out of her head.