CHAPTER 8

COACH CAN HELP

Out in the hall, Coach Jackson motioned for Sofia to take a seat in a hard, plastic chair. Sofia obeyed, practically collapsing into it.

“Now,” she said, “it was clear something was wrong out there. Something was wrong at practice too, but you said you were just sick. Was that true? Or is there something else going on?”

Sofia clenched her hands between her knees. Hot tears stung her eyes.

There was no way she could go back out there. There was no way she could face her teammates again. She had let herself—and everyone else—down. She had embarrassed the whole team.

Coach Jackson pulled up another chair so that their knees were almost touching. She leaned forward. “Sofia, talk to me.”

Sofia’s eyes darted from Coach Jackson to the door. If she moved fast, she might be able to make a break for it. Then the door opened. Rana walked in, holding a chocolate bar.

“I bought this from the vending machine,” she said, handing it to Sofia. “I know we’re not supposed to eat, Coach, but I figured this was a special situation.”

Escape route blocked.

“Can I stay?” Rana asked.

Coach Jackson looked at Sofia, who nodded. Rana came to stand next to her, and Sofia groped for her hand.

“I know I’ve had injuries before,” she started. “We all have. But this one . . . feels different. I don’t know why. But ever since I fell I’ve been having nightmares. I feel like the beam is some kind of monster. I keep seeing the accident over and over again. And when I’m on the beam, I just feel so tense and scared. Everything in my body just feels off.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Coach Jackson asked. Her voice was full of distress.

Sofia hesitated. “I was afraid to,” she said, looking down at her knees. “I didn’t want to be weak. I didn’t want to let you down. You always say there’s no room for fear. That if we’re afraid, we aren’t cut out for gymnastics.”

Coach was silent for a minute. “I do say that,” she said. “It’s something my coach used to say to me. I thought I was encouraging you girls to conquer your fears. But clearly that isn’t the case.” She squeezed Sofia’s hands. “Listen, let me do a little thinking. We’re going to figure this out, and we’re going to do it together.”