Chapter Nine

Over the next week they didn’t do much of anything except stay in the house and spend time together. Alex did small jobs around the place while Mandy worked her shifts at the diner or at the Playground, but otherwise, they just watched TV or read or cooked dinner together or made love. To Alex, the past seven days had been heaven on earth.

But by Tuesday he decided he needed to get outside. Restless and bored, he stalked to the front windows to peer out at the sidewalk beyond. It was early November now and most of the trees were bare, wind whistling through the empty branches. The sun was out, though, and the temperatures weren’t horrible for this time of year. Maybe he’d get some fresh air. He could work in the backyard, he supposed, but he’d already cleaned up most of it.

The longer he stood at the window, though, the more the outdoors beckoned.

A short walk then. Not too far, but around the block. Or maybe to the town square. Yeah. That sounded good. He tugged on his jacket and grabbed his house keys. Or maybe, if he walked just a little farther, he could catch Mandy after her reader gig. That sounded even better. Give him a chance to spend even more time with her before tonight. Not that he missed her or anything.

Ignoring the odd squeeze in his chest, Alex locked the door behind him then headed down the sidewalk. He and Mandy had great conversations. Had great sex, too. She was easy to be with, in or out of bed. But that was as far as it went. They were friends with benefits. That was all.

And maybe if he kept telling himself that, it might make it true.

His steps dragged a bit as he continued down Concord and rounded the corner onto Main, head down and shoulders braced against the icy breeze blowing in from the north. A deep breath chilled his lungs and brought with it the scents of late fall—decaying leaves and pumpkin spice from the coffee house to his left. His footsteps kept rhythm with his thoughts. Funny, but a month ago, walking down here by himself would’ve had him stressed to the max. Now, though, his gut tingled, not with anxiety but with anticipation. Part of him knew that was because of Mandy. She’d somehow found a way to bring him out of his self-imposed shell. Kicking and screaming sometimes, but still. For that he was grateful, even if the world still left him unsettled at times. The other part of him, though, the analytical part, had warning bells clanging in his head.

Don’t get too attached. Don’t fall too far, too fast.

He didn’t love Mandy. He didn’t. He liked her. A lot. Way more than he expected to or should, but not the L word. Never the L word. He’d been burned too badly in the past to go down that path again, especially now, with so much at stake. The house. His future. His plans.

Alex walked past the grocery and saw a huge Thanksgiving display in the front window. A big turkey in a top hat grinned at him through the glass, holding an ad for dinner with all the fixings on sale. He’d planned on spending the holidays alone, since the rest of his family usually spent Thanksgiving at their dad’s and that wasn’t an option for him. But now that Mandy was in the picture, maybe he wouldn’t need to celebrate alone. Mandy loved to cook, and he loved being with her, so maybe they could make a meal together, start a new tradition…

His logical brain snagged on that idea. She’d not made a decision on that movie part yet, at least not one she’d discussed with him. For all he knew, she’d be gone by Thanksgiving. Best not make plans then. And besides, one holiday didn’t make a tradition anyway. You need years together for that, and he and Mandy wouldn’t have years. Hell, they might not even have months at this point. He should just enjoy their time together now and forget the rest.

Knowing that didn’t ease the weight of disappointment weighing down his shoulders, though. Which was silly. The last thing he needed was to get all Hallmark about it and start wishing for things that would never happen. They didn’t have a forever kind of relationship. They’d gone into this with their eyes open. No strings.

Distracted, he nearly walked past the Playground and had to stop short, staring up at the colorful hand-painted sign above the door. Through the front glass he spotted Mandy reading to a group of kids in the center of a large colorful mat. A couple of boys were goofing off near the back and one little girl with frizzy brown hair and glasses kept raising her hand to ask Mandy questions. For a second, his old fears reared their ugly heads. The place was so open and vulnerable. Kids were small, but harder to protect in a crisis. His throat tightened and his mouth dried. Maybe he should just go back to the house and wait there for Mandy to get home. Pulse pounding and breath rapid, he stepped back from the entrance.

Before he could walk away, though, Mandy pointed in his direction from inside and ten kids turned in his direction and…

Oh crap. Run away! Run away!

Except he couldn’t go now, because Mandy was there, at the door, opening it and giving him a smile that made his breath hitch in a whole different way. She looked radiant, confident, achingly beautiful, and he found his feet rooted to the spot.

“Hey!” she said, gesturing him inside. “Come in. What are you doing here?”

“Uh…” He stared back at the kids, swallowed hard. “I, uh, took a walk and ended up here.” Not entirely the truth, but not a lie, either. Heat rose from beneath the collar of his jacket, and he inched back toward the exit. “You’re busy, though. I’ll just go.”

“Don’t be silly.” She took his hand, her warm fingers enclosing his cold ones, and tugged him forward onto the mat. “Kids, this is Alex. Alex, this is my reading group.”

One of the boys who’d been goofing off earlier, a black kid, fixed him with a narrowed gaze. “You Miss Mandy’s boyfriend?”

Alex’s eyes widened and he froze. Yeah. Reason two to avoid kids—uncomfortable questions. He gave Mandy a side glance then exhaled slowly, figuring out how to answer that. He wasn’t her boyfriend. That implied a relationship they didn’t have. But he couldn’t say he was her Bed Buddy either because that would open a whole other line of questions that kids that age shouldn’t be asking. Mandy’s stare prickled the side of his face and the second drew out to what seemed like an eternity. He opened his mouth to say…what? He wasn’t sure, but then Mandy came to the rescue.

“He’s just a friend. A good friend.” She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze that helped slow his thundering heart. “Right, Alex?”

He gave a curt nod, his response gruffer than usual. “Right.”

The little girl with the frizzy hair raised her hand again.

“Yes, Ruth?” Mandy pointed at her.

“Do you guys play Barbies together?” the little girl asked, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “That’s what me and my friends do together.”

“Uh, no,” Mandy said, biting her lip to hide her smile. “Yes, Chen?”

“What about Legos? Those are my fave,” an Asian boy said. “I like to build stuff.”

Alex found himself smiling, the kid reminding him of himself at that age. “I actually love Legos. Used to build sets all the time.”

“Why’d you stop?” Chen asked, after goofing off some more with the black kid beside him. “I got the new Star Wars set for Christmas. Want to see?”

He did, actually. Alex glanced over at Mandy who winked then let him go, giving him a nudge toward Chen. “Sure.”

The next hour passed in a happy blur of toys and kids and play. He hadn’t had that much fun in years, honestly, and it made him feel lighter than he had since before the shooting. By the time he looked up from the table where he and Chen were building an x-wing fighter, the parents were waiting near the doors to pick up their kids.

Mandy came over to get him and introduced him to her boss and the receptionist then walked him to the door. She turned to him on the threshold and whispered, “I’m so glad you came by today. I’m proud of you. I know this was a big deal.”

Alex couldn’t seem to wipe the stupid grin off his face. “It was fun.”

“Good. I’m going to stay a little later today to watch the drama therapist, but I’ll see you after that, okay?”

“Okay.” He bent to kiss her, then pulled back as the kids gave a collective, “Ew!” Mandy laughed and so did he, resting his forehead against hers before waving to the kids. “Bye, everyone.”

“Bye,” the kids yelled, waving before running off.

“See you at home,” Alex said, giving Mandy another quick kiss before walking out the door into the sunshine. The afternoon hadn’t gone the way he’d planned at all but had been all the better for it. He took that as a sign that maybe, just maybe, he was on the right path at last.

…

Mandy sat with Dr. Scofield a while later, watching as the therapist asked the kids to pretend to be different kinds of seeds while the laid on the mat in the fetal position. It was all fascinating, but slow. She checked her watch again and saw that it was almost four o’clock now. Her excitement over getting home to see Alex warred with her interest in what the drama therapist was doing with the kids. She shifted in her seat then leaned over to whisper to Dr. Scofield. “They’ve been lying there for an hour.”

“Yes,” he said. “But you can’t force people to confront things before they’re ready. It’s not quick, but these fantasy scenarios help the kids work through their issues in their own time.”

Finally, the drama therapist clapped his hands and the kids sat in a half circle once more. “Okay”, Dr. Langer said he said. “Let’s talk about what your seeds might grow into. Patricia, why don’t you start by telling us your seed and what you’d become.”

The redhead said, “I was an apple seed and apple seeds grow into apple trees that stand tall and proud.”

“Good.” Dr. Langer smiled. “And would an apple tree feel good about itself?”

Patricia nodded.

“Fantastic. Now someone else tell me about your seed.”

Chen went next. “I’m a gay seed. Like my two dads.”

A few giggles rang out.

Dr. Langer frowned, shushing them. “And what does a gay seed grow into, Chen?”

“Someone brave and strong and tough.” Chen squared his shoulders.

“Why?” the therapist asked.

“Because gay people get bullied. My dads say it’s because people don’t understand them because they’re different. People say things that hurt you or hit you or call you names. So you have to be brave and strong to survive.”

“What about the people who call them names, Chen?” Dr. Langer asked, sitting forward. “How might those people feel about themselves?”

“I don’t know.” Chen shrugged, scowling down at his sneakers. “Scared maybe?”

“That’s right. Fear can make us do things to hurt other people, even if that isn’t our intention,” Dr. Langer said. “All right, kids. We’ll talk more about your seeds next time.”

The group dispersed and Dr. Scofield stood to greet Dr. Langer, an older man with a gray beard and glasses. They shook hands then turned to Mandy.

“Let me introduce you,” Dr. Scofield said. “This is Dr. Joseph Langer. He runs the Drama Therapy program at Chicago University. Joe, this is our new afternoon reader, Mandy Reynolds.”

“Nice to meet you.” She shook the man’s hand. “That session was fascinating.”

“Thanks.” Dr. Langer smiled, adjusting the cuffs of his plaid dress shirt. “Are you from Heavenly Falls?”

“Yes. But then I moved away for college and my acting career. My mother passed away at the end of September, so I’m back in town to settle her estate.” For once, saying those words didn’t bring the tsunami of grief they had before, or the horrible rock of fear in her stomach over being trapped. All she felt now was a flutter of anticipation at the thought that Alex was waiting for her back home.

Home.

The word made her hesitate before she shook it off. It was just a word. Didn’t mean anything. Except it kind of did. Way more than it should to her, since the house wasn’t her home. Not really. It was just a stopping point on her road to Hollywood.

Wasn’t it?

“My condolences on your mother,” Dr. Langer said, forcing Mandy out of her thoughts.

“Thank you.” Mandy cleared her throat and tucked her hair behind her ear, switching topics to something more comfortable. “I’ve never heard of drama therapy. It’s fascinating how theater helps these kids work through trauma.”

“Yes,” Dr. Scofield said. “It’s too bad you’re here only temporarily, Mandy. After watching you with the kids the past few weeks, I think you’d make an excellent therapist.”

“Really?” She scrunched her nose. She’d never thought about it before. Acting was her dream, always had been. Different characters, different lives, different realities to escape into besides her own life. She sighed. Except recently, her life was pretty great. Thanks to Alex. She looked up to find both men watching her expectantly and realized she’d missed something. “I’m sorry?”

“I said, we have a new class starting the first of the year,” Dr. Langer said. “If you’d like, I can send you more information.”

“Oh, okay. Sure.” Wouldn’t hurt to get information on it anyway, right? And the subject was fascinating. She’d always loved psychology, almost as much as she loved theater. The fact there was a career that combined both was worth looking into, in case she ever needed something to fall back on. Not now, with Bud’s movie role to decide on and the house to get settled, she had her hands full. But maybe in the future. “I’d appreciate that.”

“My pleasure.” Dr. Langer grabbed the Post-It pad Brenda handed him and jotted down Mandy’s information. “Might take a week or so for me to get it to you with my schedule and all, but I won’t forget. Good to meet you, Miss Reynolds.” He handed the pad back to Brenda then turned to Dr. Scofield again. “Ready to debrief?”

Mandy said her goodbyes to the men, then slipped on her jacket, waving to Brenda before heading back to the house, her mind still churning over everything that had happened.

First Alex venturing out on his own today. That was major progress for a guy who hadn’t wanted to leave the house just a few weeks prior. He’d seemed like his old self with the kids, too, happy and laughing and comfortable. Reminded her of the times she’d seen Alex and his dad together back in the day. The closeness between him and his father had been palpable. They were two of a kind, similar not just in looks but in personality. Maybe that was why the current rift between them was even more heartbreaking. She hated to think of Alex without the support he needed now, especially after she left.

She tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and frowned at the ache in her chest. She didn’t like to think about leaving Alex, not after he’d come so far with her. But she had a life beyond Heavenly Falls, one that was important to her, one that would take her full devotion and attention. She didn’t have time to waste on a hook-up they’d both agreed was just sex.

This thing with Alex was just a harmless distraction. Just for fun.

Except the flutter inside her felt way past fun. Way past harmless and a whole lot like…

No. No, no, no.

The L word was strictly off-limits. People falling head-over-heels in a few weeks happened only in stupid rom-com movies like Bud’s. Besides, letting her heart take the wheel now would be beyond stupid.

She was finally getting her life together. She had a plan. She had a real offer of a movie role. To toss all that aside now made no sense. She wasn’t running. She was pursuing the future she wanted and was meant to have.

Besides, her mom had believed in love and look how that turned out.

Think positive. Better things are just around the corner.

“Thanks for the reminder, Mom,” Mandy whispered to herself. Yep. She needed to keep to the course she’d set, think with her head and not her heart. That was the way ahead.

Still, as she turned the corner onto Concord Lane, she couldn’t help thinking more about the situation between Alex and his dad. It would make her feel better about leaving if she knew they’d made amends. She still didn’t know exactly what had happened between them, but whatever it was could be mended, couldn’t it? And given how Alex had opened up to her in other ways, it was only a matter of time until he told her about the day he was injured.

She hadn’t talked to Alex’s dad in years, but from the few mentions Alex had said over the past few weeks, she’d gathered his dad still lived on the family estate outside town. Maybe she’d contact him, just to test the waters, see if the break could be healed between him and his son. Not that she liked to meddle in other peoples’ business. That was her Mom’s thing, not Mandy’s. But Alex had come so far, she hated to think of him getting lost in the shadows of his anxiety again if she took the part in Bud’s movie, or worse, when she left Heavenly Falls for good. And sure, he still had his friends and his siblings, but that was different. He needed daily companionship, warmth, and caring. That wasn’t meddling. That was being a good friend, right?

Dr. Scofield had said earlier that you couldn’t force people to face their issues before they were ready, but you could still nudge them slightly in the right direction. The thought of going behind Alex’s back made her knees wobble, but that was nothing compared to the gut-wrenching guilt she’d feel if she went off to Tennessee without at least trying to help Alex.

She arrived at the house and went upstairs to shower and change, still stewing over her decision. By the time she fed Duckie then went downstairs to finish reading Bud’s script, she felt like a ton of bricks rested on her shoulders, all her energy from earlier drained. Yawning, she collapsed on the sofa and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost six now and she should probably eat dinner, but…

“Hey,” Alex said, distracting her. He leaned a shoulder against the doorframe, sexy as heck in a soft gray sweatshirt and jeans. “You’re home.”

“I am.” She set the script aside and stretched. “And I’m exhausted.”

“Guess it’s good I picked up dinner then, huh?” Alex set two bags from her favorite sub shop on the coffee table then took a seat on the end of the sofa, pulling her stockinged feet into his lap to massage them. “Nothing bad I hope.”

“No.” She closed her eyes. “Just a lot of stuff going on.”

“Yeah?” His thumbs kneaded her sore arches and toes, and she couldn’t contain a blissful sigh. “Anything I can help with?”

“You already are, thanks.”

He patted her feet then set them aside to point at the bags on the table. “I got meatball subs from D’Angelo’s.”

Mandy grinned. “You’re wonderful.”

He shrugged, then leaned in to kiss her before standing. “Let me get some plates and napkins while you relax.” He returned a few moments later with the stuff plus two bottles of ale tucked under his arm. “How about a picnic in the backyard?”

“Really?” She glanced out the windows. “It’s kind of cold.”

“I’ll keep you warm,” he said, with a naughty wink. “Plus, there’s blankets.”

How could she refuse that offer? She couldn’t.

Later, with her stomach full and her heart near bursting with affection and appreciation, Mandy lay back atop the warm fleece Alex had spread on the grass and stared up at the emerging stars. Too soon, this would be over, so she wanted to savor it while she could.

Alex nestled in beside her, nudging her shoulder with his. “You good?”

“Excellent.” Mandy moved into his arms and laid her head on his chest, her palm pressing over his heart. “Thanks for dinner.”

“My pleasure.”

They lay there, sharing body heat, as darkness gathered and a chill set in.

“I’m so happy you came to the Playground today.”

“Me too. It was nice.” Alex lifted his head to meet her gaze. “Never thought I’d enjoy hanging out with kids like that, but I did. Chen’s quite a handful.” He kissed her forehead then lay back to stare up at the sky.

“They all are.” Mandy smiled. “But they’re a great group. Especially considering what they’ve been through living in the homeless shelter with their parents and all.”

“Yeah.” His deep voice rumbled beneath her ear. “That’s tough. Maybe that’s why I could relate to Chen so well. We’ve both been through stuff.”

Her breath caught, hoping he might finally open up about his injury. She didn’t want to push him, but she desperately wanted to know the truth. The moment stretched taut, same as his muscles beneath her, then it all finally relaxed.

He took a deep breath and said, “So, about what happened to me…”

She closed her eyes and said a silent prayer of thanks, gratitude filling her. “Go on.”

“I was working an embezzlement case for the IRS. The defendant was a mid-size manufacturing company. We had tons of hard evidence against them. The case should’ve been cut-and-dried—an easy conviction. Except…”

“Except it wasn’t,” she whispered, filling in the gap when he hesitated.

“No. It wasn’t. Mark always suspected the owners had ties to organized crime, but we couldn’t prove it.” He took a deep breath, his arm tightening around her. “The weather was perfect the day of the trial—blue skies, sunny with a chance of rain later in the afternoon. Weird how I still recall those details, right?”

“No, not weird.” Mandy pressed her hand over his chest, hoping to calm his raging pulse. “Trauma does that.”

He closed his eyes, a shudder running through him. “Two FBI agents were stationed at the entrance to the courthouse and another two were inside already. Security is always tight since nine-eleven. We should’ve been safe.” His heart raced beneath her palm, and she pressed closer into his side, hoping to give what comfort she could. “Mark and I were both late. The latch on his briefcase broke and we were crouched on the sidewalk, gathering up files when the attack started. That’s probably what saved us.”

His words were rapid-fire now, rushing together in panic. “The guy just kept firing, firing, firing. Mark took a bullet in the right shoulder, and I covered him. Jack dragged him behind some bushes. Then the guy aimed at me. Everything went black. I thought I was dead. I thought we were all dead.” He swiped his free hand over his sweaty forehead, fingers shaking, his voice strained. “Four days later, I woke up in the ICU. I needed three transfusions, but I survived.”

“Oh, Alex.” Mandy held him tighter, her arms locked around his waist. “I’m so sorry.”

Finally, he relaxed into her embrace. “Other people outside didn’t make it that day. They died there on that sidewalk. For a long time, I wished it was me instead.”

“Don’t say that.” She raised her head to look at him, her expression grave. “Don’t ever say that.”

“Afterward, I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened, couldn’t stop remembering every detail. The doctors prescribed counseling, but I just couldn’t. All I wanted was to go home, go back to my life. Except, life was never the same again. People treated me differently because of my leg. Even Felicity couldn’t handle the anxiety and the nightmares. She left me. Then my dad…” Alex swallowed hard, his face pale. “My own father told me to man up and get over it. I tried, Mandy. I swear I did, but nothing helped. Nothing except solitude.” He sighed and shook his head. “So, when your mom left me half this place it was a godsend. A new chance to start over, to prove I could handle my life on my own without help from my father.”

Mandy winced. “He should never had said that to you.”

“No, he shouldn’t. But he doesn’t matter anymore.” He was quiet a moment, then squeezed her closer, his hand at the small of her back. “Not with you here. You threw my plans for a loop, did you know that?”

“Sorry.” Mandy hugged him back, that niggle of worry over his father dimming the happiness inside her. He said it didn’t matter anymore, but she didn’t believe that. Couldn’t believe that. But now wasn’t the time to discuss it. Not with his hands on her and his heart beating strong and steady beneath her cheek. She snuggled closer. “But I’m also not sorry.”

“Why am I not surprised?” He snorted and raised a brow at her, then lay back again to stare up at the stars. She pressed her face into his chest before resting her chin on his pecs as his fingers traced lazy circles up her spine. “So I’m thinking maybe it’s time to try another adventure.”

“An adventure?” She rose up on her elbow to stare down at him. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.” He grinned, his teeth white and even in the moonlight. “When’s your next day off?”

“Monday.”

“Perfect. How about we go into the city and visit the art museum? I hear they’ve got a great new Renoir exhibit.”

“But what about the crowds?” She sat up and faced him, her pulse stuttering. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“Not completely, but I think I’m ready to try.” He gave a crooked half smile. “I have a friend who works in security at the museum. The exhibit’s usually open only to groups on Mondays, but he said he’ll let us in during the morning for a private showing. We’d have the whole exhibit to ourselves.”

“Wow. That would be amazing.” Mandy did her best to hide her excitement and failed, clapping her hands. “I forgot to tell you earlier, Alex, but I’m so proud of you. Getting back out into the world again after what you’ve been through.” She kissed him then cupped his cheek. “Thank you for telling me all of that. I know it wasn’t easy. And thank you for letting me be a part of it.”

“Stop making such a big deal.” He grumbled and pulled her back down to his chest. “It’s embarrassing. And don’t get too hyped about the museum, either. It’s just one day.”

“Okay. I’ll try.” But as she lay atop him, listening to the steady thump of his heart, she couldn’t help thinking that it was a huge deal indeed. And if he was going into Chicago, then maybe getting him to reunite with his dad wasn’t such a crazy idea, either. She’d think more about it before she decided, but the possibilities filled her with an eagerness she hadn’t felt for a long time. For now, though, she channeled that energy into more pressing matters. Namely the press of his body against hers and the electric connection shimmering between them tonight. Mandy snuggled her head under his chin, completely content. “I’d love to go with you to Chicago.”

He rolled her beneath him, enveloping her in his warmth. “You would, huh?”

“Yes, I would.” She looped her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist. “You make me happy.”

“Yeah?” Alex traced his fingers up her sides, nuzzling the spot below her ear that always made her shiver. “Bet I can think of one thing that would make you even happier…”