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It was the most surreal thing he had ever experienced in his life.
If he had thought his unknown half-sister showing up at his door was surreal or flying to Alabama to meet his half-brother was surreal, well, those two experiences paled in surreality to what he was experiencing now. He was sitting in the living room of the Stone’s family home with his father, his half-siblings and the woman he supposed he should call his step-mother, Alison Stone.
Any outsider would have thought it was a normal family function, not the actual strange circumstances of Garrett seeing his father for the first time since he was three, or Jackson being reunited with this family after living a year as a totally different identity. He still hadn’t told them about the name change, and Garrett wasn’t sure he would. The important thing was that this family had welcomed both of their sons home with open arms.
Henry Stone had pulled his older son aside and in his gruff voice said, “I owe you pretty much the biggest apology ever. I don’t know how you could ever forgive me for leaving you all those years ago. All I can tell you is that I’m not the same man I was back then. I was a drunk and a coward. I cheated on your mom, and she said she never wanted to see me again. I didn’t think I deserved to be a father.
“Years later when I met Alison and started a family with her, I was haunted by the memory of you, that bright red hair and that silly smile you had. When my kids came out with that fiery red hair just like you, I swore I was being punished having to look at them every day and remember what I’d done to you.”
“Why didn’t you ever come around? Look me up?” Garrett asked him. “I am sure we weren’t too hard to find. I don’t think we ever even left that house.”
His father raised his hand and clamped it around his son’s shoulder. “I heard your mom got remarried. I tried to call one day...you were probably six or seven. That asshole husband of hers answered the phone. I told him I wanted to talk to your mom, and he told me to never call the house again, and that I was a sorry excuse for a man. That now he had to raise my son because I had been such a damn pussy.”
Damn pussy, the phrase brought all kinds of memories to Garrett’s mind. Clark Bowman had been a big fan of that slur. Garrett had been called that more times than he could count.
“I’m so sorry about what happened with your mom and him,” Henry said, his eyes boring into Garrett’s with a sincerity Garrett had not expected. “I read about it in the papers.”
“You let me go to foster care,” Garrett said, biting back tears. “You abandoned me again. I was an orphan as far as the state knew.”
Henry moved his hand, using it to scrub against his face and through his own beard, which was longer than his son’s and full of white and gray mixed in with the red and brown hairs. “I have wronged you, Garrett. I don’t know how many different ways I can say I’m sorry, but whatever it takes, I want to make it up to you.”
Garrett stepped away. He had never in a million years thought he’d be having this conversation. And then the doorbell rang.
He heard commotion in the other room as Alison, or maybe it was Lilly, went to the door. He heard muffled voices, mostly women’s. “Probably the neighbor coming by,” Henry said, answering Garrett’s curious stare, then gestured for him to lead the way back into the family room where the others were.
He turned the corner to head that way but stopped in his tracks when he saw those eyes.
She gave him an uneasy smile, then extended her hand toward Mr. Stone. “I’m Dr. Anjuli Raina,” she introduced herself. “I’m Garrett’s costar in Chicago, and I helped find your son Jackson.” For as uneasy as she looked, her voice came out strong and confident.
Garrett’s heart was pounding away in his chest. He hadn’t answered her calls or texts, but he sure as hell didn’t expect her to show up in Washington. I’m sure Jackson is responsible for this, he thought.
“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Raina,” Henry Stone bellowed in his deep, booming voice. “I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing both of my sons back to me.” He pulled her into a bear hug, and she flashed Garrett a look of distress over Henry’s shoulder.
“Give us a minute, please,” Garrett said to his father, who nodded and went to join the others in the family room.
“Do I even want to know how you found me?” he asked, shaking his head.
“Well, Chase and Nigel didn’t know where you were...then Jackson texted me. I guess if you’re going to disappear, you have to do a better job not leaving a trace,” she said, smiling at him. “I wanted to apologize for the other night, but you wouldn’t answer me.”
“I know.” He folded his arms across his chest and looked down into her deep, dark eyes. Those eyes. Still hypnotizing him. Still making him think maybe he could heal someday and make something of himself. Still making him think he might have some goodness in him after all.
“Can we go somewhere to talk?” she asked. “Would your family mind?”
After the shock of the word “family” wore off, he answered, “No, not at all, just a sec.” He stepped into the other room and announced that he was going to take a walk with Anjuli. He led her out the back door into the Stone’s spacious yard. They lived in the country, and there was a pasture outlined by a dilapidated fence, and in the distance, the tallest evergreens he’d ever seen, all standing proudly on a steep hill overlooking a river.
There was a rundown wooden frame with rusty chains and a swing hanging down from them. “Think this will hold us?” he asked, chuckling. He gestured toward it, and that uneasy look was back on her face again, but she sat.
“I shouldn’t have asked you to leave the other night,” Anjuli said, facing him. “As soon as I cooled down, I wished you were back.”
“I’m still trying to understand why the fuck that dude was there. He really pissed me off.”
“Me too,” she agreed. “Apparently he is in love with me.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s a work friend, and he’s married. He is the one who helped me track down people who knew Jackson. But then I guess he got jealous of me being with you—”
“So he just barged in your house and kissed you?”
“Shit, you saw that? I didn’t think you did,” Anjuli fired back. “Well, now you know why I kneed him in the balls.” She laughed.
“I was so proud of you when you did that!” He grinned. “But then he said all that shit and called me a murderer and I—well, and then you screamed at me to leave. So I really didn’t know what to think.”
She reached out for his hand and laced her fingers through it. They were so cold, shivers shot up his spine. “You’re freezing, woman!” He rubbed his hands against hers, trying to generate some warmth.
“I didn’t know what to think about what he said,” she admitted. “And I suppose I could have done my own research, but I was pretty conflicted about the whole thing.”
“Anjuli, I need to tell you what happened. Come clean to you.” He squeezed her hand and waited to see what kind of reception she would give him.
“I guess we both need to come clean, then.” She took a deep breath, and for a moment, they both just sat there, letting the crisp November air circulate through their lungs. In and out, in and out, like maybe they could inhale the strength they needed to open up their hearts and let the truth fly out.
“I didn’t kill my mother,” he said, breaking the silence.
She bit her lip. “I hoped that part wasn’t true.”
“But I did kill my stepfather.”
He waited for those words to sink in, and he saw the moment they did: the shock and dismay tightened her jaw and drew her brows together with more questions than he could answer in a lifetime.
“My stepfather abused both my mother and me. More emotionally than physically,” he admitted, “but still, abuse nonetheless. And if he was drinking, then all bets were off.”
“Garrett—” She laid a hand on his thigh. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Just listen, please.” He closed his eyes to bolster his resolve. He had to get through this.
“Okay, sorry.” She squeezed his thigh for emphasis.
“One night he was so drunk that he started throwing my mom around. I guess he wanted to fuck her, and she refused him because he was so fucking drunk. And that made him even angrier.”
Garrett pinched his nostrils together at the top of his nose, as if that would ward off the headache forming in the base of his skull. “I can still hear her, ‘Clark, just go sleep it off. Leave me alone, Clark!’”
“Clark,” Anjuli murmured softly. “You said that name in your sleep sometimes...I thought you meant Clark Jones, from the show...”
He ignored that comment, deep in his own mind. These were words he had never told another living soul, and now he was freeing them from their cages buried deep inside him. “He had his gun, okay? I was sixteen, almost seventeen years old. I hated the way he treated her, not to mention the way he treated me, but she would not leave him. I think it was because my dad had left her, and she didn’t think she could get another man.
“But I had never really stood up to him before. He usually knocked me on my ass if I even talked back. He was a Marine, big, strong...but when I was almost seventeen, I was finally as tall as him, finally over six feet. I had told myself the last time he’d gone on a drunken bender that I was going to wrangle my mom away from him and just take her away. Get in my truck and get her the fuck outta there. I had my license; I had the height and strength to finally take him on.
“’Course he always told me I was a piece of shit, and my daddy didn’t want me. He caught me once with a boy, and then he started calling me a fuckin’ fag too. I got into a fight once at school, and he berated me for not standing up for myself, calling me a damn pussy. So when I heard him get the gun, and I heard my mom scream, I thought ‘This is the night. This is the night I finally show him I can stand up for my mom and myself.’”
He looked over at her, still as a statue in the rickety old swing, and she had tears streaming down her face. She looked as though his words were slicing into her, chipping away at her flesh.
“He had the gun pointed at her, and she was cowering in the corner, mumbling, trying to talk some goddamn sense into him. When I came in, she told me to leave. She told me to go back to my room. Of course, I didn’t do that. I marched right up to that big, hulking beast of a man, this monster I’d been living with since I was six years old, and I knocked that fucking gun right out of his hand.”
Anjuli gasped. “Oh my god, Garrett...” She was shaking her head, the tears still streaming as she awaited the conclusion of his story.
“The gun spun around on the floor, then we both reached for it—”
“’We both reached for the gun,’” she quoted, lyrics from Chicago. “Holy shit, Garrett...”
“Our hands were both on it, fighting over it. He raised it up toward my mom and fired it...once.”
She watched him break down right before her eyes, this tall, strong man just heaved and sobbed, throwing himself against her. She opened her arms and welcomed him as he shattered with the memories. He shuddered against her as it all tore through him, ripping him to shreds as she tried to whisper soothing words into his ears.
“You don’t have to say any more,” she said. “It’s enough...I—”
“No,” he said. “No, I need you to know.” He cleared his throat and pulled back to meet her gaze. “My mom slumped to the floor, and I didn’t miss a beat. I grabbed the gun, backed up toward her, looked him right between the eyes and fired another bullet right into his brain.
“I called 9-1-1 to report it, and the operator told me to stay on the line, but I couldn’t—I was watching them die. I ran. I didn’t know what else to do. I just ran into the woods, which were dark as fuck, and eventually the police found me. I couldn’t even tell them what had happened. For a while, they did think I’d shot them both. But after I was able to give bits and pieces of what happened, they believed me. His prints were on the gun too, and it was obvious he was drunk as fuck.”
“Oh my god, so what happened to you after that?”
“I was sent to foster care,” he explained. “And on my eighteenth birthday, I left town and never looked back. And I never told anyone what had happened that night except for the police and you, just now.”
She was shaking. She bit her lip, trying to stop her body from quivering, but she didn’t seem able to control it. Part of it was the wind, the frigid gusts blowing the swing, her hair, the branches in the woods just yards away. It was the kind of wind that cut through a body like a knife.
“Does your family know about this?” She gestured toward the house.
“Yes, my father just told me... He just apologized for everything.” He stood up and pulled her to her feet as well, then wrapped his arms around her. “Anjuli, I don’t know where to go from here.”
She just held on to him for several minutes, not saying a word. She had come out here to tell him where she stood, how she felt about him, what was happening with her—the position she was facing. But it wasn’t right. He didn’t need that. It was too much.
“I don’t know where to go from here either,” she admitted.
He pulled back to look at her, and the look in his eyes was so kind, so gentle, it warmed her from the inside out. She wasn’t expecting him to look like anything but the broken man he had just professed to be, but yet there was some light in him, shining, resilient and unwavering.
“Why don’t we figure it out together?” The question hung in the space between them for just a moment before he cupped her face in his hands and leaned in to brush his lips against her, soft and sweet.
She felt that surge of passion rip through her body, destroying the uncertainty she had felt only seconds before. How could she keep feeling this torn all the time? Torn between wanting him and feeling like she should walk away?
“Anjuli,” his voice came like a feather floating into her ear, “I love you.” He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her to his body. “I don’t know what I want to do or where to go, but I know that much. It feels like enough to build on right now.”
She backed away, her face awash with confusion.
“It’s taken me a while to realize it because I’ve never felt this way about anyone. You’re the one, angel. I’m completely miserable without you.”
Her throat closed off; she couldn’t breathe. His words were coming out too fast for her to process.
“What? What’s wrong?” he stammered.
“I...I just never expected you to say it.” Her confusion gave way to a smile. “I came out here expecting to pour out my heart to you and have you say you aren’t ready to love anyone. That you can’t.”
He took her hand into his. “Even if I wasn’t ready, the feeling is there, and it doesn’t give a shit what I want.” He laughed through the tears that were still glistening in his eyes.
“I was prepared for you to say goodbye, that we’re at such different places in life. I was going to tell you I’m pregnant, and you’d agree it would be best not to go down that path—”
His eyes bulged out of their sockets. “You’re what?”
Her hand was trembling as she swiped a stray hair out of her eyes. “I’m pregnant, Garrett. I didn’t want to believe it, but I’ve taken like ten tests, and they all say the same thing.”
The confused look tightened his features again. “I—so, wait, your daughter is pregnant, and you are too?”
She chuckled a dark laugh. “Yeah, great timing huh? I’m about to become a grandmother, so my body thinks it’s a good time to get real fucked up. I know, it’s so stupid. I’m way too old for that shit.”
“Well, you’re obviously not too old to get pregnant,” he shot back.
“Maybe not, but I’m too old to do this single parenthood thing again. I just served my eighteen-year sentence, and now I have to start all over again? I don’t think so. It’s ludicrous, really.” Her eyes glinted with a sardonic smile.
“But it’s my baby?” he questioned, still trying to work it all out in his mind.
She scoffed, “Yeah, of course it is.”
His furrowed brows loosened as a surprised smile tilted the corners of his lips. “Don’t I get a say in this?”
She exhaled a deep breath. “Garrett, I didn’t come here to put any pressure on you. And I’m certainly not trying to trap you or whatever. I just wanted you to know I was sorry for the way I acted, and, well, Jackson thought it was pretty important that I come out here, so I thought maybe something had gone wrong with your family. I thought I could help—”
“That’s because I told Jackson I’m in love with you,” he said, shaking his head. “You really don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?”
“I want to be with you.” He lifted his hands to her shoulders and grabbed on to them, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “I want to be with you, Anjuli. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, ever. I just didn’t think you wanted to be with me.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you, it’s just that—”
“What? I’m too young? You’re too old? Because I’m bi? What?”
“I love that you’re bi. But those other things, yes— and I’m going to be a grandmother. Why would you want to be tied down to a grandmother?”
He shook his head again, lowering his hands so they spanned her waist. “Anjuli, I don’t see a grandmother when I look at you at all.”
“What do you see?” Her whole body trembled, awaiting his answer.
“I see a beautiful, giving, caring, selfless, ridiculously smart woman I want to spend the rest of my life with,” he answered.
She reeled back in shock. “I just—”
“No, shhh, quit doing that. Quit discounting yourself. You. Are. Amazing. End of story.”
Her body felt like it had just been pushed out a plane without a parachute and she was in freefall, waiting for impact against the cold, hard ground. How could he really be in love with her? It didn’t make any sense. It was completely beyond reason.
“I’ve never met anyone like you,” he admitted, “no one who made me want to be a better person. No one who made me want to heal, to face my past. To have a family.
“I haven’t had a family since—well, ever, really. I spent my entire childhood wanting a family, a real family. I didn’t think I deserved one. But now here I am, and I have a dad, sister, brother and step-mother who all want me to be part of their lives...and I have you...”
He took her face into his hands again, then used his thumb to brush away the new tears forming in her eyes. “I have you...and a son or daughter of our own, if you’re willing to do it all over again. Only with help this time.”
“I don’t know what to say, Garrett... This is all so crazy!”
He pressed his lips against hers again. “Just say yes, that we can try. I want this, Anjuli. I want this more than I have ever wanted anything in my life.”
Her heart was swelling at his outpouring of love and devotion. She had never had a man say he wanted to be with her forever or have a family with her. She thought men only said those things in romance novels, or maybe to other women, women who weren’t her. How could this beautiful man with so much talent and so much potential—and yes, scars from a horrible childhood—want all that with her?
“Are you absolutely sure that’s what you want?” she pressed, studying his face for any signs of untruth. “You really want to have a baby? Be a father?”
He squeezed her body to his again. “I know it sounds crazy considering everything I’ve been through...but I want a chance to do it right.”
“Wait until my daughter hears her kid is getting an aunt or uncle younger than he or she is.” She laughed. “Talk about pure craziness.”
“Well, it may be a little crazy,” he suggested. “Doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.” He took her into his arms and ravaged her lips with the most swoonworthy kiss she had ever received. And when he finally broke away, he asked, “So you’re in?”
She couldn’t suppress the smile growing across her face any longer. The tears on her cheeks were drying, and she was completely exhilarated by the future that had suddenly opened up to her.
“I have never met anyone like you either, Garrett Stone. I can tell you right now it’s not going to be easy.” Her radiant smile beamed up at him as he searched her face for her answer.
“I know it won’t be easy, but are you in? Do you love me?” His jungle green eyes pierced into her, looking as though every nerve in his body was hanging by a thread off a very steep cliff as he awaited a response.
“As much as I tried to fight it, as hard as I tried to convince myself our differences were insurmountable, I know—beyond a shadow of a doubt—I love you,” she proclaimed, taking his breath away with her beautiful testimony.
He took her into his arms again, his beard tickling her cheek as his mouth angled to whisper in her ear, “Nothing is insurmountable with love.”
