22

Nia sat in the lobby of her dorm waiting for Bart. He’d called and said he wanted to see her. That pleased her. The time at home had been good, but she’d really missed him. It gave her some time to think about Bart and what she wanted out of their relationship. And she wanted to share those thoughts with him. Sunny or no Sunny, Nia was done hiding things from him. Tonight, she would tell him all about her illness, Rachel, and Puzzle House, and how she’d been anointed as a healer and what she was doing at Helping Hands.

Christmas vacation had been great. Seeing Auntie had been wonderful, but Nia hadn’t found Keisha. She’d been so desperate she’d tracked down Marcus. That hadn’t been good at all. He’d tried to talk her into having sex with him.

As if.

It was clear that whatever was going on with Keisha, she didn’t want Nia’s or her mother’s interference. As much as it hurt, Nia would have to take a step back. Keisha would have to put her puzzle together alone. Unless Keisha decided to ask for help. If she did, Nia would be there for her friend.

“Hey.” Bart came close.

She jumped up and gave him a hug. “I missed you.”

He gave her a quick hug but then stepped away. “Did you have a good break?”

“Not everything turned out the way I’d hoped. I didn’t even see Keisha. Couldn’t find her to talk to her. But seeing Auntie was great. As always.”

“That’s too bad. I mean about Keisha, not about seeing your aunt.”

“I know what you meant.” She smiled. “How was yours?”

“It didn’t go the way I thought it would either. I’ll tell you all about it while we take a walk. It’s a little chilly out there, but I’m game if you are.”

She picked up her coat. “That’s why I brought this with me.”

He took the coat and held it while she slipped into it. What a gentleman he was. Didn’t find many like him anymore. She was glad he was a part of her life—and hopefully would be in the future as well.

He didn’t take hold of her hand as they usually did when they walked.

She wondered if something was wrong. “So tell me about your vacation.”

“It wasn’t actually much of a vacation.” He stopped and looked at her. There was a sadness about him. “I spent a lot of it on my Senior project. My goal is to have it finished by March. I hate waiting until the last minute.”

“Good for you.”

“But I did go for a job interview in Nashville. It would be an assistant to the assistant minister at a fairly large church down there.”

“That’s awesome, Bart. And Nashville has some great music.”

“The interview went well, but they won’t make a decision for at least another month. But that’s not really what I wanted to talk about.”

Her stomach did a flip-flop at his serious tone.

“I wanted to talk about us.”

Good because so did she. “OK.”

“I’m sure you remember that I told you I don’t do casual dating and that I wanted us to get to know each other.” He stopped walking and turned to her. “And I’ve really tried to do that. I’ve told you all about my thoughts and struggles and my dreams for the future.”

“And I appreciate that.”

“Maybe, but not enough to reciprocate.”

“What do you mean?” Even as she said the words, she knew what he meant. But that would all change tonight. She’d tell him everything.

“I don’t think I’ve even penetrated your walls a little bit. I know you said you were a private person, and I can appreciate that. But every time I try to get you to talk about anything important, the subject seems to get changed.”

“Really? I didn’t know I was doing that.”

He grinned. “Maybe not, but you’re really good at it anyway.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better.”

“I’m the one who’s sorry, Nia. I think I found out what I needed to know, and I don’t think our relationship is a possibility.”

His words took her breath away. “That’s not true. I really like you.”

“Not enough to trust me.”

He was right. She’d hidden so much from him. He didn’t even know she’d had cancer and almost died. Because if she’d told him that she would have to tell him about Puzzle House and how God had given her a miracle. And then she would have to tell him about Rachel and her gift of healing, and how that hadn’t happened. And how Sunny was helping her. Tears trickled down her cheeks. “I am so sorry, Bart. I see you’re absolutely right, but I don’t think I was aware of it before. I see that now. In fact‒”

“It’s not your fault. I just think you’re at a different stage in your life and a different place in your spiritual walk. But I still want us to be friends. And we can still make beautiful music together. At worship time.”

“Give me a second chance. I really do want to tell you. I had planned to tell you tonight even before you said anything.”

“I believe you, but it’s not about a second chance. We’re just not right for each other in that way. But as friends, we’re good. I’ll see you at Wednesday Worship, right?”

Probably not.

“If you don’t show up, I’ll come and find you.”

She smiled even though her heart was breaking. “A definite maybe on that.”

“I’ve heard that somewhere before. I’ll walk you back to the dorm.”

“That’s OK. I need a little time by myself. Before I go back to the room with Tanya.”

“Are you sure? I don’t like leaving you out here alone.”

“I’m fine. And thanks for being honest with me.”

“It’s what I do.”

It was what Bart did. But it sure wasn’t what Nia had done with Bart.

After he left, Nia sat down on a nearby bench and cried. Bart was absolutely right. She hadn’t shared the truth with him. She couldn’t blame him for breaking up with her.

Well at least Sunny would be happy. Now Nia could concentrate on becoming a healer with Sunny’s help. Her relationship with Bart had been a distraction as far as Sunny was concerned, but no longer.

***

And thanks for being honest with me.

Bart walked back to his dorm.

If Nia only knew.

He’d been anything but honest with her, but he couldn’t tell her the truth. How could he explain that his whole life had changed in a few short weeks? He couldn’t even explain it to himself. He was at a loss—a complete loss. Sure, he’d had doubts and questions before. But he’d always had his faith. His unwavering faith that God was real and that God loved him. But now it was gone and because of that, he couldn’t continue in a relationship with Nia. She didn’t believe in being unequally yoked any more than he did. He sighed as he corrected his thought. Any more than he used to believe.

He didn’t really know what he believed any more.