12  

A CANDID CANINE

Oswald joined his friends on the deck, leaned against the railing, and draped his front limbs on top of his belly. “Melvin, Zola, please, what’s going on? Has this bird put a spell on you?”

“Shh.” Melvin waved his friend away. “She was just getting to the good parts. I want to hear this.”

“Melvin, have you been in the catnip again? Come on, dear boy. This is a bird. Remember roast chicken? I hear goose is lovely with a—”

“Honk!” was the first thing the goose said to Oswald.

“Oswald, stop it. Don’t upset her—she’s been through enough,” Zola said.

Oswald couldn’t believe his ears. “Zola, not you, too?”

Zola got up and in two large steps stood over Oswald like a tent made out of dog. Oswald shuddered. Zola bent down and gently picked him up by the scruff of his neck.

“Put me down this minute. I will not stand for this,” Oswald protested while paddling his four limbs in the air.

Zola carried Oswald to the back of the yard, reached her head over the fence as far as she could, and dropped the possum about three feet from the ground.

Oswald landed on soft weeds.

Zola lowered herself on the other side of the fence, bringing her head level with Oswald’s.

“Oh, dear Zola, I do hope you realize I was merely joking. Of course I’m interested in what that bird—”

“Stop,” Zola barked. Oswald jumped back. He looked past Zola at the deck. Melvin sat on the railing, watching them, his tail swished back and forth.

“Hurry up, Zola. I want to hear the rest.” Melvin jumped down and disappeared from view.

Zola looked right into Oswald’s eyes. “Oswald, you know I like you.”

Oswald nodded. “I cherish our friendship too, dear Zola.”

“But you crossed a line this time. You could have really hurt that poor goose, and she’s already injured. Maybe now’s a good time for a vacation.”

“But I’ve been away—seen the world, my candid canine friend.”

Zola shook her scruffy head, got up stiffly, and walked back to the deck.

Oswald scurried back and forth along the fence. “You misunderstood me. I was merely trying to remedy a mix-up—save all of you embarrassment. Surely, the newspaper people came for me.” Oswald said this and a whole lot more until he finally realized a frightening fact: no one is listening to me.