It had been a tough night for her. Nightmares, screams, endless running in the dark. She’d woken several times, struggling through the sheets in a panic to find herself in a room she didn’t recognize and in a space she didn’t know.
Scary stuff.
When she’d woken the last time, she knew she had to do something to shed the tension. Instead of easing it through a good night’s sleep, she found it had twisted her gut and ripped at her soul.
Running was the only answer, even if it didn’t make sense that doing so physically would help her stop in her nightmares.
She couldn’t afford to stand still in life right now because it seemed everyone and everything was after her—and yet, she had no proof anyone was. She knew she’d made trouble for a group of military assholes, and if they were after her… She’d heard her father had been shot and her mother badly beaten. She figured whoever did that would now either pin those actions on her or would take her out next.
Of course the cops were interested in her whereabouts. How could they not be? She’d been at her parents’ house earlier the night her father had been shot. She’d been checking the news on her phone ever since and saw the media coverage. Nothing made any sense, and because of that, she ran…to get away from all the unknowns she couldn’t deal with.
And because she worried evidence had been planted to make her look guilty as hell.
It didn’t take long for the running to provide the magic she looked for. Forgetfulness. As her muscles leaned out and stretched, she pumped forward at a rate she could barely control. Need drove her on. She could feel the tension ease off her back, along with the sweat. She ran and ran and ran.
She glanced beside her to see Harrison holding his pace easily at her side. Just from the length of his stride alone, he could keep up with her. She envied him. He seemed to have the endurance to go another 10K. Whereas, now that they headed toward the 15K mark—according to her watch—she was wearing down.
She glanced around and asked, “Time to head back?”
“Sounds good. You up for the full distance back or a shortcut?”
She considered her energy stores and said, “Shortcut.”
He pointed and said, “Let’s head this way. We can take this path and shave off several miles.”
She nodded and followed his lead this time. Maybe that was better. She had him set the pace, and he maintained it—slow, steady, eating at the miles with his long stride. She’d do her damnedest to keep up.
Forty minutes later they arrived at the front gates again. He slowed and continued jogging on the spot. He called Foster to say they were here. She jogged in place, then slowed to a walk and finally stretched and shook out her limbs. Not only had that been more miles than she had expected, but she hadn’t done a run like that in a long time. She would be sore tomorrow. Now if she could find a hot tub or a swimming pool inside, that would help.
As they walked through the gate and up to the house, Harrison said, “Thank you. That was a great run.” He reached his arms above his head and did several arms stretches.
“You’re right. It was good.” She chuckled. “I usually find it to be a great way to get rid of my demons.”
He headed for the door and opened it for her. “And running keeps you in shape, so if the demons in your world do rise, you’re fit enough to get away.”
She nodded. “I hope Richard has a large hot water tank because I may stand under the showerhead for a full hour.”
“Go ahead. Breakfast is at seven, so you’ve got like ten minutes.” He chuckled at her look. “And I’d rather eat than stand under a hot shower for too long. I can get dressed and be down there on time, but you’re a woman so …”
She shot him a sideways glance. “Race you to it.”
“Are you competitive in everything you do?”
She shook her head. “No, but I do find it’s a great way to get things done and done fast.”
“You’re on.” He raced up the stairs three at a time.
His long legs ate up the distance. She had no hope of catching up, but she ran after him anyway. “Hey, that’s cheating.”
“You wanted a challenge.” He disappeared into his room.
She bolted inside hers, stripped off her clothes and got under the hot water.
She shampooed her hair and decided she’d rather lose her race with Harrison to make sure she was nice and truly clean. She turned off the water and stepped outside the shower to dry off. Wrapped in a towel, she walked into her room, wondering what the hell her clothing options were now. She wasn’t about to wear her sweaty clothes after just getting clean.
There was a knock at the door. Harrison said, “Hey, I beat you.”
She walked to the door, still wrapped in her towel, and peered around it. “Yeah, that’s a hell of a way to beat me,” she said. “I don’t have a thing to wear.”
He leered at her lasciviously, a comical look in his eyes. “You don’t think it was my plan the whole time?” He held out a stack of clothes.
She rolled her eyes and looked at the stuff in his hands. “Where did you get those? And women’s clothes at that?”
“Foster brought them from Ice’s old room.”
“Do we have the same body type?” she asked.
He held up leggings and a T-shirt. “I figured even if they were too long, they’d still work. And the legs can always be rolled up if they drag over the ground.” He handed the clothes to her. “You got three minutes to make it for breakfast.”
She took the clothes, surprised to find a couple options in underwear to choose from, and quickly dressed. She realized he was right. Given his earlier description of Ice as an Amazon warrior, the leggings were probably three-quarter-calf length for her, but for Zoe, they went right to her ankles. And that was fine. Throwing on the T-shirt, she flicked a brush through her hair and braided it. As she walked into the kitchen, she twisted the ends together so it would stay for a while.
Foster smiled at her. “Good morning.” He walked to a cabinet, pulled out a drawer and came up with a rubber band. “Not ideal.”
She laughed. “No, but it’s not far off.” She tied off the bottom of her braid. She looked around. “Anything I can do?”
He shook his head. “Go take a seat.”
Doorways went off in all directions from the kitchen. She leaned closer and said, “I would if I knew which direction to go.”
He winked and walked her through a door to the right into a huge dining room.
She was the last one to arrive. She glared at Harrison.
Harrison chuckled.
“Coffee’s over there.” Foster pointed to the sideboard where a complete coffee service awaited.
“I told you that women always take much longer.”
“I did have a slight handicap, as you know, with no clothes to wear.”
“I gave you a solution to that.”
“Yeah, sure enough. After you were fully dressed.”
She poured her coffee and sat next to Richard. “Good morning.”
He studied her carefully.
She knew the doctor in him couldn’t resist assessing her health and mental state. She gave him a bright smile and said, “The run this morning helped a lot.”
Instead of smiling back, he frowned. “Did you not sleep?”
She nodded. “I did, just not the greatest.”
“Oh, dear, I should’ve thought of that. I do have something to help, if you need it tonight.”
She opened her mouth and started to shake her head but felt the kick to her leg. She frowned at Harrison to see him sending her a way-too-innocent-looking smile. She didn’t know what he was up to, but she remained silent, glaring in his direction.
Then Foster came in with a trolley, loaded with several big serving dishes with silver lids.
She smiled. When he removed the lids, the aroma wafted through the room. She lifted her nose appreciatively. “It smells lovely, Foster.”
He unloaded platters of bacon and sausages. When he uncovered a serving tray of pancakes, she almost crowed in delight. He followed that up with a large platter of scrambled eggs. “I’ll be back in a few minutes with toast.”
Everyone passed around the serving trays until they had helped themselves.
She had no compunction about eating now. She grabbed several flapjacks, loading up on bacon and sausages. By the time the eggs arrived, she added them to her plate. She picked up her fork and knife. The trouble was, she didn’t want to eat fast; she wanted to enjoy this meal. She’d been a little short on food rations lately. And some food just required savoring.
Foster came back, took a seat with them, and she felt better. In her father’s house, the staff were not welcome at the family table. She was glad that wasn’t the case here.
When she finished, Zoe gently pushed away her plate, almost feeling well enough to face the world. Now back to the question she’d been biting her tongue over. “Richard, how’s my mom?”
He nodded his head regally and said, “She’s doing better. She had a good night. But she’s still sleeping deep. So when she wakes, she’s confused and not very cognizant.”
“May I see her this morning?”
He nodded. “Absolutely. We can go after breakfast if you’d like.”
She nodded, picked up her cup and refilled her coffee. She brought the pot over to the table and proceeded to fill the empty cups. After returning the pot, she sat again.
Richard looked at her. “What are your plans for the day, my dear?”
She shook her head. “I’m not sure yet. See my mom, check on my father’s condition. Find out who shot at us last night.”
Richard gasped. “You were really shot at?”
She nodded. “I imagine Saul checked the Jeep for damage.”
Saul’s face hardened. “It hit us. Thankfully in a spot that didn’t really matter—the metal of the tire rack.”
She raised her eyebrow. “Nice. Of all the places they could hit, that’s the best one.”
He nodded. “I wouldn’t take kindly to having my baby splattered with gunfire.”
“Any news yet?” asked Richard.
“Not for the moment,” Harrison said. “I’m about to call Levi. I gave him an update last night, but he’s waiting for us this morning.”
“Us?” Zoe asked.
He nodded. “His text message said he wanted to speak with you too.”
She dropped her elbows on the table and glared at him. “You know there’s no us involved, right? I was doing fine until you showed up and dragged me all over the place. I don’t know Levi, and, no insult to Richard, I don’t know his daughter either.” She shot an apologetic look toward Richard.
He inclined his head and said, “I hope you do get a chance to meet her. She’s very special.”
“From what I’ve heard, they both are,” Zoe said. “I’m just not sure I want anything to do with anybody at this time.”
Saul stared at her and asked, “Why did you leave the military?”
She turned a flat stare his way. “My time was up.”
He raised an eyebrow. “And yet, you went from being the best of the best, top of the class, to suddenly having trouble with authority and major anger issues.”
Inside her heart sank. She wanted to say it was none of their business. But she knew she would have to answer their questions eventually. No matter how she tried, her experience with the military would haunt her forever. “Life happens. Our perspectives change. We view things in a different way. I lost all respect for the military. I couldn’t follow their rules anymore. And the orders from superiors became an insult. I had to get out.”
The men exchanged glances.
She added, “I don’t care if you believe me or not.”
“We believe you,” Harrison said. “We’ve all bucked up against orders, personnel we didn’t like, pencil pushers who ran things but didn’t know what it was like outside in the real world.” He shrugged. “Not one of us here doesn’t understand that.”
She settled back.
“I guess what I’m asking,” Saul said, “or rather should come right out and ask is, whether what happened to you back then has anything to do with what’s happening to you now?”
She frowned. “I don’t think so.” Of course she’d considered the same thing.
The last thing she wanted was to revisit that nightmare. Yet it wouldn’t let her go. She really didn’t want to explain it to these men. If it did have something to do with these current events, then she was in trouble. There would be no way to avoid a full-on discussion. Harrison would insist she tell him everything.
Something she didn’t want to do.
*
What would it take to make her share what happened in the military? Harrison didn’t know if it was connected to the recent attacks on her father and mother, but it was sure as hell connected to who she was today. Because that woman who entered the military, maybe out of defiance, maybe out of eagerness, had come out bitter and angry. He knew the pathway for women in the military was very different than for men. He’d heard lots of stories, knew lots of women who had come and gone. Some had fit the mold and done beautifully; others couldn’t take the male-dominated world that barely respected women in many ways, and had left. He could easily see something like that being Zoe’s problem. Yet he was afraid it was more than that.
Sexual harassment abounded in the military. He hoped it wasn’t anything as nasty as that. But no doubt she was not the same person who’d gone in. And then there was the issue of her dead friend.
As he reflected on his life in the military, he realized he had been the one who had the problem with relationships. He’d had a fiancée he’d planned to marry when he went to training. She had been very accepting. He had found out afterward she’d been having an affair the whole time. It had made him bitter. Especially as he’d found her in bed with her lover—his brother—to add to the pain. He’d learned to control his temper, to find patience, tolerance and acceptance.
Maybe Zoe had learned a lot too. But she’d also learned something else. Distrust. And that was a bad thing as it would be hard for him to get close to her when she was so angry. He had watched her run in a mad pique this morning, eating up the miles. Making him run twice as hard to keep up with her. She ran to rid herself of the demons bedeviling her—not for the joy of experiencing the way her body felt, the healthy power of her muscles working.
He understood. He’d had many a similar workout.
His phone buzzed, and he saw Levi’s name. Knew Levi had more on Zoe’s military file. Harrison stood and excused himself from the table. “I should check on some paperwork Levi sent. I’ll be about ten to fifteen minutes. When I’m done, we should give him a call and then head to the hospital so you can see your mom.”
She nodded, her gaze hooded, her thoughts far away.
He waited for a moment to see if she had really connected with what he said.
She waved her hand. “Go. I’ll have another cup of coffee, and then, if I must talk to Levi, I will. I do want to go see Mom soon though.”
He nodded and walked to his room, grabbing his laptop and quickly checking the email Levi had sent. The files were restricted. In other words, somebody high up had seen the value of an investigation into Zoe and had supplied information. He sat back and read.
And what he found pissed him off.
Tamara Vettering. She’d been gang-raped one morning. Zoe had found her and had called for medical help, and Tamara had survived physically, but emotionally she had been extremely traumatized.
But the men all appeared—somehow—to have alibis. Her story was dismissed with the doctor saying her injuries appeared to be self-inflicted. Harrison raised his gaze to stare at the far wall.
“How did one self-inflict rape wounds? Impaling herself with what? And why?”
Tamara wanted to leave the military before finishing out her years. She’d fought strenuously to have the men court-martialed. But apparently no semen had been found; they had no DNA evidence. She’d been in the showers. Everything washed away. No fingerprints. No witnesses as they deemed Tamara not credible. And the entire incident had been pushed aside.
He reached up and rubbed his face. “If it actually happened, and Zoe had known it for sure or had truly believed her friend, then nothing the military said would have been good enough for her. She’d want justice.”
He returned to his reading and then winced. Tamara, unable to handle the mockery, the complete change in atmosphere around her afterward, committed suicide. In the same showers where she’d been raped. And again Zoe found her friend.
Harrison leaned back and closed his eyes. “Shit.”
Of course she was angry. Of course she was hurting. Of course she wanted justice but felt she wasn’t likely to get it. And, even if she did, it was way too late.
Unfortunately, accusations of sexual assault, abuse, and harassment ran rampant throughout the military. He understood it was a big problem. But not enough was done. They had to protect those women who stepped up to serve their country.
“That’s why Zoe walked.”
He quickly ran through the rest of the paperwork, realizing Zoe hadn’t given up. She’d fought to have Tamara’s case reopened and to have the men brought to trial. Justice for her friend. No mention was made of the names of the men involved. Of course not. It would’ve sullied their military records.
But Tamara had been mocked by the others in her world. Another reason so many rape victims never spoke up. When she committed suicide, Tamara drifted into the level of a statistic: yet another woman who couldn’t handle a man’s world.
Harrison sat for a long moment. Tamara might not have been the best type of person for the military. She might have needed professional help. She certainly needed help if this was self-inflicted. And, if she’d been raped, she needed all the support that everybody had to give her. But instead she’d been forced to take what had been dished out. And take and take. Until nothing was left, and she ended up taking her life.
He got up from his laptop, anger coursing through him. He stared at his closed fists and realized that, no matter how or why it happened, he hated injustice.
He generally liked and respected most military personnel. Right now, he wasn’t feeling very cordial to any of them. That he was no longer part of that huge machine was probably a good thing. As he had loosened up, relaxed and joined Levi’s group, it had become that much harder to stick himself back into the mold of being a good SEAL. He was a better man now that he was out. He also came with a perspective that was a little easier to handle. There was just so much more to the world than the military allowed. He loved what he was doing now.
He had served his country. But with Legendary Security, he didn’t have to deal with people who gave orders when some were ones Harrison could not admire.
He walked out the bedroom door and headed downstairs. His phone buzzed again, and it was Levi. Harrison sent a text, saying he was locating Zoe for the conference call. He walked into the kitchen. No sign of her. He glanced around in the dining room, but it was empty.
Foster said, “She headed up to her room to collect her clothes.”
Harrison nodded. “Okay, I’ll go check.” He hoped that was all she was up to. Because if she was off and running again, that wasn’t good news.
At her door, he stopped and knocked. No answer came from the inside. Hating his suspicions, he pushed open the door and stepped in. The bedroom was empty, but her clothes were still here. And the bathroom door was closed. “Zoe? Are you there? We’re ready to call Levi.”
Her response from the bathroom reassured him. “Be there in five.”
He didn’t want to stay in the hall, so he stood in the doorway and waited for her to come out.