Chapter Twenty-Four

The following morning not even Tom’s unbridled excitement over his first go-karting lesson could disperse the giant cloud that had settled over Aiden’s head. He wouldn’t have minded so much if the cause had been yesterday’s pitiful race, or because he was languishing third on the Championship leader board. But no, his dark mood was to do with a woman.

Why had he spilled his guts to Mel last night? He wanted her to see him as a cool, fearless racing driver but now he’d blown it. Even sweet, empathetic Mel had ended the evening telling him to pull himself together. Just before she’d walked away when he’d told her how much he wanted her.

Even he’d got the message now.

He forced his mind away from the crap of yesterday and back onto the track. This was Tom’s first karting lesson and he wasn’t going to let anything spoil it for the guy. As his kart flashed by Aiden put his fingers in his mouth and whistled. Briefly Tom raised his hand, then slapped it quickly back on the wheel as the kart veered sharply to the right.

After that, Aiden made do with simply watching, though he couldn’t help pumping his fist as the little tearaway only went and finished the final race in first.

Something Aiden had only managed twice all season.

‘Hey there champ.’ He bent to high-five the beaming red cheeked, sweaty haired boy dressed in Delta overalls and clutching the replica helmet Aiden had bought him.

‘Not bad for your first outing. How did you find it? Are you going to be a kart racer?’

‘It was awesome.’ The thrill in Tom’s voice matched the excitement in his eyes. ‘I went nearly fifty miles an hour and I only crashed once.’

Ruffling his hair, Aiden let out a slow whistle. ‘And you won your last race. Sounds like you nailed it. We’ll have to make sure we put you down for some more lessons once the racing season’s finished.’

Tom’s face crumpled and he stared down at his feet. ‘Mum won’t take me.’

‘She won’t need to. I will.’

His face shot up again. ‘Really?’

The expression on his face, as if he was afraid to hope, forced Aiden to have to swallow several times before he could speak. ‘Really,’ he confirmed. ‘From now on, I’m part of your life. I’m sorry I haven’t been around for the first ten years, but you can rely on me being around for the rest of it.’

What Tom must have gone through … heck, it wasn’t hard to imagine, because Aiden had lived through it himself. All the more damning then that he’d taken the selfish route and stayed away. Even when he’d heard Tom had run away from school and his mother was nowhere to be found, Aiden’s instinctive response had been to ignore the situation rather than accept his responsibility. So not just selfish; gutless, too. No wonder Mel had been disgusted with him.

He glanced down to find Tom smiling up at him, his small hands gripping tightly to the helmet and his eyes filled with something that looked like adoration.

Emotion filled his chest, making it feel as if everything inside was too tight; his heart too large. Needing the connection, he flung an arm around Tom’s slim shoulders and drew him close to his side.

Together they wandered back through the now deserted paddock. Or should he say almost deserted because there was a blonde figure zeroing in on them. One sporting a bouncy ponytail and rather large, equally bouncy, breasts. His heart sank.

‘I was hoping I’d catch you. The guys at the Delta garage said you hadn’t left yet.’ Devon peered down at Tom. ‘And this must be your gorgeous little brother.’

Aiden had to admire the way Tom coolly nodded back. He didn’t think his ten-year-old self would have been quite so laid-back in front of a dazzling blonde.

‘What did you need me for?’ He found it hard to look at her without feeling a prickle of shame.

‘I was talking to your press officer, Melanie, I think her name is, about doing that interview we didn’t actually ever get round to. She said you’d be happy to spare me some time?’

Did she now? So when Mel had told him Devon was still sniffing around, she’d meant so why don’t you go after her, rather than I’m jealous, please don’t sleep with her again.

Disappointment crashed through him, but he fixed a smile on his face. ‘When did you have in mind?’

‘Mel mentioned you might be at the Pirelli bash tonight? If you are, I can get a press pass and maybe see you there?’

Well, well, anyone would think Mel was trying to pair him and Devon up again. ‘Sure. I’ll catch you later.’

With a tinkling laugh and eyes full of promises, she went on her way.

Tom let out a snort. ‘She fancies you.’

Aiden burst out laughing. ‘Umm, yes, she probably does. That’s the thing with being a racing driver. The girls come chasing after you.’

‘If they’re like her, I don’t want to be a driver.’

‘What, you didn’t think she was pretty?’

‘Nah. She’s plastic and laughs like a girl.’

‘Maybe because she is a girl, buddy.’

‘Mel’s a girl, but she’s got a proper laugh.’

Aiden couldn’t fault the boy’s perception. He far preferred Mel’s laugh, too, but Mel only wanted him as a friend and he was getting mightily pissed off with being parcelled into that category. Maybe it was time he did as she wanted and took up with a more willing woman.

Mel sat with Sally in her hotel room, watching the latter get ready for the party being held in the plush stateroom downstairs. As the invitation had come from the company who supplied the tyres, all the teams had been invited and strongly advised to attend. She could barely contain her beating heart.

‘I see you’ve decided to really push the boat out with your dress tonight,’ Sally remarked as she wriggled into a bright pink number.

Mel glanced down at the plain black dress that perfectly summed up her mood. ‘The last time I wore something fancy it got me into trouble. Tonight I’m playing safe.’

Sally tutted. ‘You must be the only single female alive today who’s actively trying to put Aiden Foster off.’

Mel tried to smile. ‘Okay, when you put it like that it makes me sound like an arrogant nutcase.’

‘Nutcase, yes, but arrogant?’

‘Arrogant to believe he actually needs putting off.’ Though when she remembered the way he’d looked the other night and his husky words it’s you I want, perhaps she wasn’t being arrogant.

‘I’ve seen the way he watches you. You’re far from arrogant, though you are stark raving bonkers.’

Silently, Mel agreed. Pushing Aiden away was making her so miserable she had to wonder if she was doing the right thing.

Her misery rating rose even higher when they entered the stateroom and she spotted Aiden surrounded, predictably, by an adoring female fan base. Wearing a sharp dark navy suit, open neck crisp white shirt and killer smile he exuded sophistication. Handsome, smooth as melted chocolate, he held the gathered crowd in the palm of his strong, steady hand.

‘You really don’t want to sleep with that man again, given half a chance?’ Sally whispered in her ear. ‘I would, if he showed me the slightest bit of interest.’

‘No, you wouldn’t. You’ve got a gorgeous husband at home.’

Sally sighed dramatically. ‘Oh, so I have. It looks like Aiden’s all yours then.’

At that moment Devon wandered into view. Squeezed into a slinky silver number that made her look like a mermaid with legs, she made quite an entrance. Certainly enough to make Aiden notice, if the crooked, pleased to see you smile he threw in Devon’s direction was anything to go by.

‘Clearly he’s not mine,’ Mel muttered, abruptly turning away so she wouldn’t have to witness Devon sliding up to him and taking his arm. Probably kissing his tanned, freshly shaved cheek. ‘Have we got a guest list somewhere?’ she snapped. ‘It’s time we networked.’

As the evening wore on, Mel’s eyes wouldn’t stop scanning the room. Each time they landed on Aiden, Devon was by his side and her heart sank a little further towards her feet. Clearly her misery was showing because at one point Nancy put an arm around her and gave her a knowing smile. ‘What you see isn’t always the truth, Mel.’

‘He looks happy enough to have her plastered against him.’

Nancy shook her head. ‘He’s doing what he’s paid to do, being charming, though if you keep making it clear you’re not interested he will go elsewhere, my dear.’ She gave Mel’s arm a quick squeeze. ‘Perhaps you need to think about what you really want, before the choice is taken away from you.’

The words were kindly meant but they only added to her misery. As Nancy left to speak to other guests Mel glanced down at her plain dress, feeling drab and ordinary. She didn’t want to be in this glitzy party, making polite conversation to glamorous people, watching Aiden flirt his way through every beautiful woman in the room.

‘Ah, Melanie.’

She turned round with a start to find Carlos smiling down at her. Handsome, happy to see her, Carlos. As a giant wave of emotion threatened to swamp her she flung her arms around his neck.

‘Whoa.’ Having caught her, Carlos inched back so he could study her. ‘I’m not complaining about the greeting, my sweet, but what’s wrong?’

‘Nothing.’ She wasn’t sure whether it was her welling eyes, or the following sniff that gave her away.

‘I may be a, how you say, dumb? Yes, dumb racing driver, but I know if a woman is upset.’

‘That’s probably because you have lots of experience in making them upset.’

He pretended to look hurt. ‘Your words are a dagger through my big, soft heart.’

‘What heart?’ Though she couldn’t stop a little giggle.

He swooped down for her hand, planting gentle kisses across her knuckles. ‘For sure I have a heart, lovely Mel. You stole it a long time ago.’

Mel rolled her eyes, though she couldn’t help but smile. With Aiden allowing Devon to monopolise him all evening, the attention, even from an outrageous flirt like Carlos, was a very welcome boost to her flagging ego.

Aiden had been keeping his eye on Mel all evening. Noticing the regular glances she’d shot in his direction he’d deliberately stayed close to Devon, his determination to make Mel jealous riding roughshod over his guilt at stringing the journalist along. He had no intention of taking the flirtation with Devon any further than this room but the small minded git in him wanted to prove that if Mel didn’t want him, he could find someone else who did.

Of course Devon didn’t actually want him, nor did any of the other women fawning over him tonight. Still, better to be wanted for being a racing driver than not to be wanted at all.

He tensed as, at the other end of the room, Carlos sidled next to Mel. Hell, she was flinging her arms around his neck. Laughing with him. And was he really kissing her hands?

‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ he told Devon curtly.

Ignoring the people who tried to catch his attention, and the woman thrusting her breasts and a business card at him, he pushed his way towards the cosy couple.

Carlos’s dark eyes watched him speculatively as he turned to face a startled looking Mel. ‘Can I talk to you for a minute?’

‘Well, I …’ She glanced from him, to Carlos, and back to him. Either she was embarrassed to be caught making goo goo eyes at his rival, or embarrassed because his curt request had been a shade away from downright rude. Aiden didn’t care, as long as Carlos buggered off.

The Spaniard took a step back, though not before giving Mel a look loaded with promise. ‘I shall get myself a drink, pretty one. I’ll see you again soon. We have much to discuss.’

Carlos took his sweet time sauntering out of earshot, leaving Aiden almost vibrating with anger. ‘So, you’ll flirt with Carlos but not with me?’

Clearly agitated she bit into her plump bottom lip. ‘Yes.’

‘Why?’

‘Because he no longer has the power to hurt me.’

‘And I will?’ Aiden couldn’t believe they were on this topic again.

‘You have the power to, yes.’ Before he could ask what on earth she meant by that, she nodded over towards Devon. ‘Anyway, you don’t need me to flirt with. You seem to be doing a perfectly good job over there.’

‘Thanks to you,’ he countered, clutching at his glass of water when what he really wanted to do was put his hands on her. Her arm, her shoulders, the back of her neck so he could pull her mouth towards his and flaming kiss her.

‘What do you mean, thanks to me?’

‘Well, you did practically shove Devon at me, didn’t you? Telling her I’d be happy to talk to her. Letting her know I’d be here.’

She blinked up at him, eyes flashing. ‘I was just doing my job. Besides, I didn’t volunteer any of that. She kept phoning, asking when she could see you. I suggested tonight because I thought it would be easier for you to get rid of her here. If that’s what you wanted to do.’

Though he was slightly mollified by her response, the image of her laughing and cooing with Carlos wouldn’t go away. It hurt that she let others get close but pushed him away. ‘Yeah, well, Devon seems game to make a real night of it, if you know what I mean.’

She inhaled sharply. ‘Why are you telling me this?’

‘Because I don’t want her, I want you.’ Did he sound as desperate as he felt? ‘I want you to care enough to get angry and bloody stop me.’

Emotion he couldn’t define – confusion, disgust? – swirled in her eyes and she gave a sad shake of her head. ‘Of course I care, you fool, but I can’t stop you. This is you. This is what you do. It’s why we would never work.’

He was too angry to continue the conversation, his heart too crushed. So instead of grabbing her by the shoulders and pleading with her to stop judging him, he turned on his heel and walked.

‘Why do you do it?’

Her quiet question halted him in his tracks and he turned back towards her. ‘Do what?’

‘Sleep with women you don’t care for?’

Momentarily he shut his eyes. When he opened them again she was still there, waiting for him to answer. ‘Because she wants me,’ he admitted, hating the way his voice sounded so raw, so damn vulnerable. ‘I know it isn’t me she wants, just the image of me, but hey, it’s good to feel wanted.’

She looked puzzled. ‘What about what you want?’

Aiden knew he shouldn’t answer that, but it was as if Mel had opened the box on his innermost feelings and he couldn’t shut the lid quickly enough. ‘Sometimes, when it’s dark and I’m feeling lonely, it’s just good to feel another body next to mine. Arms around me. Holding me.’

Biting back the emotions that clawed at his throat, he fled across the room, down the corridor and out into the fresh night air. There he leant against the wall and took in several long, shaky breaths. Hell, even his hands were trembling, as if he’d had a blowout at two hundred miles an hour rather than simply making a fool of himself in front of Mel. Again. Why did he keep opening up to her, making himself so vulnerable? Now she knew one of his deepest fears. Loneliness.

As a kid he’d craved companionship and warmth. Just someone to give a damn about him. Now he was an adult, the cravings remained. Sure the women who threw themselves at him didn’t really care, but that was the only type he’d come across. Until Mel.

So how gutting to find that the only real woman he’d ever met, and ever cared for, wasn’t only unimpressed by his wealth and fame. She was unimpressed by him.