I had to be dreaming. Part of me wanted to believe and cling desperately to what I thought was a dream. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that Drake was here, in a bed with me stroking my wings as if they were precious.
If I thought back to the night before I would still think it was part of an elaborate dream. Yet I knew his size like the back of my hand now. He was bigger than I had ever dreamed. I found it a new pleasurable experience not having to be the one in charge. I fought for it only lightly last night because with his Dragon always so close to the surface he needed a win. And yet I didn’t mind being at his whim. For once, I wasn’t the one who had to be in control. For once, I was not the one who needed to do what needed to be done. Instead I was released. Submissive.
Waking up meant that last night was potentially a dream. But it also meant that there were a million problems that had yet to be solved. Drake was nowhere near where he was when I was with him almost 16 years ago when Audrey was born. Then he was out of control for sure, but it was different now. It was like he was in a constant state of half Dragon, half man. His eyes remained those of his Dragon until he found his release. In that moment, his eyes bled back to human, and he was at peace. I felt a strange sense of pride at that.
If I was being perfectly honest with myself, I was terrified to turn over and see that the Dragon was back. That the battle to get Audrey would have to wait until I could save my mate, even if that meant from himself.
Feeling him touch my wings so intimately caused a shudder to go down my spine. I hadn’t realized that my tail was still wrapped around his leg until I began to turn over. It seemed almost painful to part it from his skin. When I looked into his eyes, dread pooled into my gut.
The white was gone and blue bled into every corner, but with circle pupils I knew I was at least dealing with both of them and not just the Dragon.
“Was it you who slept with me last night or was it his choice?” I could sense that I was dealing with the Dragon now. Drake was still unconscious in his body.
“It was both of us for a bit. Don’t worry, mate, he wanted you as much as I have in the years that have gone past. He was just too weak to take what is ours.” The Dragon watched me closely but I kept my face completely blank. I had years of training and nothing could faze me much anymore.
“I didn’t want him if I couldn’t have all of him, Dragon.”
“Part of him will always belong to her. You don’t know anything of our past, and asking him to give up his love for a person who helped bring him back would be cruel.” The Dragon growled at me, sounding very protective of Drake for the first time since I spoke to him. But I was selfish and too angry. I felt cheated.
“I brought him back from losing Coy. I deserve as much space in his heart as her. I would fight the world for him.” I breathed in slowly. I knew if I stayed here any longer I would only become more upset. I understood that Drake had a life before me, as I had one before him—there were no doubts about that. I had loved many besides him, but I had never loved any as deeply. That year and a half I spent with him changed things for me. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the little moments had together, the moments that I thought meant something to him.
When Drake sent me away I never thought it was because he truly could never feel what I felt for him. Rather I thought he was doing what I would have eventually convinced myself to do, which was to leave for the betterment of both of us. How dangerous it was to love, especially in our world.
I had valued our pocket of time. Our time that was completely free from the responsibilities I had to bear. I never had that sense of a home before, never had a little place where it was almost too crowded with two men our size and a little girl running around. I never had the meals together and true happiness. With them, all those years ago, I had that. I had been so desperately clinging to that idea of our home that I didn’t even think about how different life would be if we ever reunited. There was still so much I had yet to learn about Drake, and so much he had yet to learn about me.
I wanted last night to mean much more than it might have actually meant.
●●●
The following weeks after Drake and I slept together were difficult to say the least. I didn’t have a moment for myself, and he was struggling. I knew he wanted to leave and search for Audrey, in fact many times he had pleaded for me to help him find her. The problem was that I couldn’t. I had my own Clan’s mess to clean up. There were dead bodies to bury, families to console, the looming threat of the Braden Clan because of our attack on them. I had to send out messages to my spies when I could. I was hoping that I could find Audrey without him knowing of my plans. He was too rash, and I was scared of what they would do to her if he went barging in.
The business had taken a hit as well. There was so much that I had to tend to first that Drake got pushed into the background. It was also my way of coping with the fact that he was finally here, but he wasn’t really here with me. I wasn’t sure he ever would be until we got Audrey back. The Dragon was always on the edge; always waiting for a moment to really come out and attack. That is where I came into play. The Dragon didn’t quite respect me like he had the night I battled him, but he did respect me enough that I could calm him down.
It was a month before Drake finally cracked. I thought it would be sooner but I was finally getting everything under control. My biggest problems would be finding Audrey, and Nixie as well. I had promised her father, and I felt there was something he was going to tell me but never got the chance. Drake though really had snapped this time.
The Dragon took over his body completely. I felt in my heart Drake’s shift and the pain. I grabbed my chest.
Zeke had come into my office raving about Drake. I ran outside with him to find the Dragon roaring and trying to take flight, but his wings still had not healed and he couldn’t get much farther than 10 feet into the air. When he saw me, he looked at me with such sadness that I was sure Drake was in control of the Dragon form. I dismissed Zeke and any others who had come out to see what the problem was. When Drake saw it was only me he started to relax.
“You will only injure yourself more trying to fly.” I looked at the torn membrane on his wings. It was a horrid sight to see, but one that I knew was ultimately my fault. I had arrived too late. I hadn’t kept a close enough eye on them.
Drake curled up, folding his wings out gently, and stared at them. He was a beautiful Dragon—there was no doubt about that. A kaleidoscopic red. He was large, about the size of a bus. His body was bulky, with a medium long neck and a powerful head and jaw. His back and tail were armoredin spikes.
We sat silently, and the quiet between us felt welcome. I had a sense of peace for just a few moments. I knew it wouldn’t last forever. We had so many things left unsaid, so many more problems that needed to be solved. But for a moment, for now, Drake was quiet. I sensed how his speeding heart rate went down, because my heart started to calm.
“We can’t save her now,” I whispered. My head was pounding with an oncoming headache. Nothing filled me with more dread then the idea that I would have to hold off saving Audrey. She might not have been my child for the past decade, but she was mine at one point. She was my world for a very long time. But looking at Drake, I realized that he was in no condition to save her. We were in no condition. I held half his heart in my chest, and I felt the weight of it.
Drake let out a woeful cry that I felt all the way down to my bones. He sounded if he was calling out to her and her alone, waiting for her reply. Pain radiated out from our joined hearts and it took everything in me not to hunch over and clutch my chest.
Exhaustion must have gotten the better of him, because after a few more heartbreaking cries he shifted back his human form. He shrunk in size until he was his normal six feet and nine inches, an inch shorter than myself. His human form showed his wings’ wounds on his back. Lacerated skin, the cuts so deep that if he was human I knew they would need stiches. If we were to stitch him up now, it would only cause him more pain later. He pushed off from the ground. He stood completely naked and as a Shifter I knew he felt perfectly comfortable as he was. Living with paranormals who regularly changed their forms, it wasn’t uncommon to see naked bodies. None though, quite made me react like his tall form.
I felt no embarrassment as I openly sized him up. His skin was naturally light brown, I had noticed it from the first time I met him. There were no tale-tells signs of tan lines on any part of his body. His thighs were corded and muscular, and I remembered holding them. I remembered how firm they were. I moved to look at his package, which in the light was even more remarkable. He was gifted with a wide girth and enormous length. Watching him, there was no way I could forget our night together and how I wished I could have another night with him. Having Drake once would never be enough.
I moved my glance away from him before I became any tighter in my own pants. Drake wasn’t built with defined abs, but his chest was solid. There was nothing but warrior muscles under his skin. He had well defined arms, and I knew from experience how solid he felt. Drake’s shoulders were broad, probably slightly more than my own, but in my normal form no one would be able to tell. There were scars that overlay his skin as if they had always been there. I wondered often the stories behind the scars, but never asked. I had my own; I knew scars held memories, and some memories you never wanted to relive. I looked up finally to the face of the man who had haunted my memories for years.
I had never seen Drake look so defeated, not even the day he had lost Coy. Losing Audrey I feared might be the end of Drake the man, and the Dragon might finally take full control. I might have affection for his Dragon, but it was the man I loved. He is the one I couldn’t stand to ever lose, and I wouldn’t. I would make sure that he would become the strong man I knew him to be. He was healing when I was with him for that year and a half. I had seen the real him. He was charming, and happy, even though he had days when it seemed like he would never smile again.
“I can’t control him anymore. It’s like there is a never ending pressure in my head. He will take over one day. I know he will. And I fear…” Drake looked at me. “I fear everything he will do.”