Luke let her tug him back down, so close he could see each unique shard of color in her eyes, get lost in the forest of greens and browns. He traced the fine arch of one brow, marveling at the blend of colors. Russet and red and wheat and gold. If her eyes were a forest, her hair was autumn.
When did he start to notice such things—let alone become so fanciful? She inspired this in him. Turned him into some kind of poet who saw the wonder of nature reflected in her every feature. Made him hear music when he touched her. Made him want to sing to show her what was in his soul.
“Wait,” he said, shaking his head. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on their conversation and process what she’d been saying. “Did you not believe in love before?”
“True love?” Julia squirmed beneath him in a horizontal shrug. “Not really. I mean … how do you find perfect love in an imperfect world?”
“Well, first of all, I don’t think there is such a thing as a perfect love,” he admitted, turning the idea over in his mind. “Not as you mean it. But I do believe love can be perfect.”
She frowned. “But you just said you there’s no such thing as perfect love.”
“I did.”
“Then how can love be perfect?”
“We are all imperfect creatures inhabiting this imperfect world. Except you.” He leaned over, kissing the tip of her nose. “You’re perfect.”
The tip of that perfect nose crinkled. “I thought you said we are all imperfect creatures.”
“I did,” he repeated.
She made a grumbly noise deep in her throat and glowered up at him. “Your explanation has a lot of holes.”
“It’s a sieve,” he agreed, unable to hold back a grin. How had he lived so long without the pleasure of riling her up? Of seeing the little pucker of frustration appear between her brows.
“Exactly.” She frowned. “It doesn’t hold water.”
And there was the pucker.
The urge to kiss her there beat hot within his chest, but Luke resisted. “True. But it does retain what’s important.” He watched her mull that statement over. “It’s a metaphor. When you rinse things out in a sieve, the water passes through, but what you’re rinsing—”
“I figured that out, thanks.”
“Um, right.” Luke swallowed. Had she figured out the rest of what he was trying to say, as well? He didn’t want to presume to explain further if she saw his point. He knew how much his sister hated it when he did that, and as far as he could tell, Julia wasn’t a fan of his “obsession with semantics” either.
“You were saying?” she prodded, a note of hesitation in her voice. Caution, not irritation. Luke could work with that.
“Right,” he said again. “Do you know how, in math, a negative multiplied by a negative makes a positive?”
Her lips pursed. “Do not try and tell me love is algebra.”
A brow pucker and a lip purse. How was he supposed to concentrate? Luke forged ahead, rolling them over so she was on top. “Actually, that’s not algebra. It’s—” He stopped. Took a breath. “What I’m trying to say is, it’s because we are imperfect that my theory works.”
“Imperfect, huh?” The beginnings of a smile ghosted over her lips. “Didn’t you say I was perfect?”
“You are.” He reached up, brushing the pads of his fingers along the curve of her jaw, tracing the delicate line from earlobe to chin. “Perfect for me.”
“So that’s your theory, is it?”
Her voice was teasing now, annoyance giving way to what he thought might be affection. But Luke wanted more than just affection. He wanted all of it—all of her. He suddenly realized this wasn’t a game. This wasn’t a strategic lineup of situations crafted to result in a particular outcome.
Well, it was—or it had started out that way—but it was not anymore. There was no guidebook for what was happening now, no manual for how he felt, no set of instructions for what he was supposed to do next.
So this is what it means to follow your heart.
Obi-Wan to Skywalker. Gandalf to Frodo. Merlin to Arthur. For the first time, Luke understood the words every wise old sage had muttered to every intrepid hero in the history of forever …
When the time comes, you’ll know what to do.
And he did. He knew.
His gut tightened, nervous energy pulsing through him like a live wire cut loose. Luke pushed up into a sitting position, leaning back and bracing his weight on his palms. Face-to-face now, with Julia still atop him and straddling his legs, they were almost on eye level.
“It’s not just a theory.” Luke leaned forward, close enough to share her breath as he said, “It’s real.” He brushed his lips over hers, once. “What I feel for you is real.” He kissed her then, putting everything he was feeling into that kiss.
She moaned and rocked against him.
The movement seemed almost involuntary. A reflex. And that subtle thrust of her hips set off a chain reaction inside Luke, desire flicking on switches everywhere, booting up his entire body. Like a power surge, the contact sent a blast of desire through him. Fireworks went off inside his brain, threatening to knock out coherent thought.
“Whoa,” he rasped, pulling back. Also very real? The direction things between them were currently headed. He pressed his forehead to hers, breathing hard. His body was sending out a detailed series of commands, and before the program executed without his permission, Luke needed to get the situation under control.
“This is rather embarrassing,” he admitted. “But it’s been a while. Since I found myself in this, ah”—he glanced down—“position.”
Julia followed the line of his gaze to where their bodies pressed together. “I don’t think you have any reason to be embarrassed.” She brushed her palm over the hard ridge of flesh straining against his fly. “Nope. No cause for concern.” She lifted her chin, an impish smirk tugging at her lips.
The wicked, hungry look she was giving him turned the situation critical. “Ah, yeah. If you keep touching me like that, things are going to get very embarrassing, very fast.”
“Oh!” Her eyes widened, and she shifted her hand away. “Sorry.”
“Do not apologize.” He took a slow, measured breath. “It’s just, um, I wasn’t prepared for things to go this far.”
“Ah.” Understanding smoothed her brow. “Hm.” The pucker quickly returned as she considered their dilemma. “I don’t suppose that’s on the room service menu.”
“No,” he said, mouth quirking as a solution came to him. “But there is a convenience store in the lobby.”
“How … convenient.” She matched his grin. “Feel like going shopping?” Her gaze drifted lower again and she bit her lip. “Or maybe I’ll just go.”
Luke wanted to protest. He didn’t feel right putting this on her. But he wasn’t exactly in the proper state to roam the halls right now. Not to mention the awkward position he’d be in if word got out among the staff that he was buying condoms at the hotel mini-mart. “Are you sure?” he asked.
“Lately I’m not sure about much of anything,” she said cryptically.
Before he could process that statement, she was in motion.
“I’ll be right back.” Julia hopped up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Don’t move.”
“Trust me,” he promised. “I’m not going anywhere.”
In minutes she returned, cheeks flushed, a little breathless as she hurried through the door. Julia flipped the security latch, kicked off her shoes, and vaulted onto the bed. She opened the paper bag and triumphantly pulled out a box. “Success!”
Then she turned the bag over and dumped it out. Several items scattered across the comforter. Little packages of chips and cookies and a few candy bars. “I also got snacks,” she explained. “In case we got hungry … after.” Her cheeks flushed.
Luke’s heart lurched in his chest. She was so damn adorable. “I was worried that by the time you got back, you might have changed your mind,” he admitted.
“Definitely not.” She handed him the box. “What about you?” she asked, a hint of concern taking her excitement down a notch. “You still, um, good to go?”
In response, he tore the box open. “In the four hundred and fifteen seconds you were gone, all I could think about was how it felt to touch you.” Luke stared at his hands. “To be inside you.” He flexed his fingers and glanced up at her. “Did you really dream about me doing those things to you?”
“Mm-hmm,” she hummed, voice husky. “Right here in this bed.” She scooted closer, plucking a bag of chips out of her way.
“Did you dream about anything else?”
“Well…” She lowered her lashes and considered him. “In my dreams, you weren’t wearing so many clothes.” Slowly, Julia began to remove his shirt.
“And you?” he asked hoarsely, body tensing as her hands brushed against his skin with each button. “How much clothing were you wearing?”
She laughed. “Guess.”
His shirt completely undone, Luke tugged his arms out of the sleeves and tossed it aside. At this point, she’d seen him shirtless so many times, he didn’t spare a moment for being self-conscious. Besides, he was too preoccupied with seeing Julia to be worried about her seeing him. He reached for the hem of her blouse. “May I?”
She answered him by helping him pull it over her head, continuing to assist him by wiggling her hips as he slid her skirt off. Luke paused, drinking her in. Even though he’d seen Julia on the beach in a bikini, seeing her on a bed, in her bra and panties, was different. Much more intimate. “Were you like this?” he whispered.
She shook her head. “Not quite.” Then she reached behind her back to unclasp her bra, sliding the straps off her shoulders and down. He licked his lips, remembering the feel of her nipples growing hard against his tongue through the soft cotton of his shirt.
After their encounter on the beach, he should have thought ahead. Been prepared for the possibility at least. But his thoughts had not taken him this far.
That was a lie. He’d thought about it, he just hadn’t believed things would go this far in reality—a truth that he recognized applied to so much more than physical attraction.
“It was more like this,” Julia said, lying back on the pillows and removing the last of her clothing.
“I see.” And oh, did Luke like what he saw. Rosy nipples, lushly rounded hips, smooth pale skin, russet curls at the apex of her thighs … He hurried to pull a condom out of the box. By the time her panties hit the floor, he’d ripped the package open.
“And you were more like this,” she added, yanking on his zipper and tugging his jeans and briefs down.
Luke straightened his legs, trying to help her, but his heels smacked into the footboard. “Damn it,” he growled.
“What’s wrong?” She paused, hovering somewhere around his knees.
He demonstrated by attempting to straighten his legs again, kicking the curved wooden board at the end of the bed.
“Oh.” She giggled. “You’re too tall for the bed, aren’t you?”
“It’s not funny.” He grumbled. “I hate beds with footboards. Why would a hotel have a bed with a footboard?”
“Hey, I like my big fancy hotel bed,” she said, still giggling. “And this mattress is huge. I can’t believe you don’t fit.”
“Welcome to my world.” Too annoyed to feel awkward, he handed her the condom and shucked off the rest of his clothes. Then he shifted sideways, shoving cookies and candy bars off the bed was until he was lying across the bed on a diagonal. “That’s better.”
“It certainly is,” she purred, examining every inch of his now naked body. “May I?” She held up the condom, tossing his request back at him.
Mouth suddenly dry, Luke grunted his assent, watching while she rolled it down his hard, thick length.
“Okay?” she asked.
“Okay.” He gritted his teeth as she wrapped her fingers around him, sliding the condom snug against his base.
“Okay,” she said, straddling him. “Okay,” she repeated. Gaze locked on his, Julia slowly lowered herself, taking each inch she’d just been examining. “Okay,” she breathed a third time, though it seemed she was saying it as much to herself as to him, sucking in air as she spread her thighs wider and took him deeper.
Luke held himself absolutely still, giving her body time to adjust—hell, giving his own body time to adjust to the tight, sweet grip she had on him. But then she began to move, and he couldn’t stop his response, couldn’t deny the urge to arch toward her, until finally her body yielded those last exquisite inches.
He was buried inside her now, as deep as he could go. “Okay?” he asked, no more able to stop the teasing grin curving his mouth than the groan that escaped his lips when she picked up the pace.
“Okay,” she breathed, head lolling back, exposing her throat. He wanted to press a kiss to the hollow there, longed to fill his hands with her sweet, perfect breasts, bobbing temptingly above him with each thrust. But right now, it was taking everything he had to hold back the explosion building inside him as he let her ride out her pleasure.
“Okay, okay, okay.” She was chanting now, that one word, murmured faster and faster, in time to her movements. And then even that was lost to incoherent moans and small breathy sighs.
Something about those sounds unraveled Luke, made him thrust his hips, rocking up into her, hungry for more. He felt her body stiffen, the muscles in her thighs tensing as she pulsed around him, crying out softly.
“Okay,” Luke grunted, letting himself go.
And it was better than okay.
It was fucking perfect.
Sometime later, snuggled under the covers and splitting a pack of Oreos while they watched a late-night comedian on the hotel room’s flat screen, Luke had the sense that, in its own way, this moment felt pretty perfect too.
“Ugh.” Julia glanced down, brushing at crumbs. “We’re making a giant mess.”
Luke grinned. Yep, imperfectly perfect. “Eating cookies in bed is one of life’s small pleasures,” he informed her. “Especially when it’s not your bed.”
He sobered a moment, thinking of how Penelope had told him that once. Ever the optimist, his sister could find something to be happy about even when her entire world was a shit show.
“Luke?”
“Hm,” he mumbled, still back in that hospital room with his sister all those years ago.
“What’s wrong?”
Noting the concern in her voice, he shook himself. “Sorry.” He turned to face her, offering the last cookie.
She took it, eyes still on him as she nibbled one end. “Where did you go?”
“I’m right here.” He brushed more crumbs from the blankets, pretending not to understand her.
“In your mind,” she clarified, not letting him off the hook so easy. “You were definitely someplace else in your head just now.”
He wasn’t sure if her perceptiveness was alarming or endearing. But his response was surprising, because he wanted to talk to her, to share more of himself with her. He reached for another package of cookies, using the distraction to gather his thoughts. “I was remembering something my sister once said.”
“Oh.”
“That didn’t come out right.” He grimaced. “Being naked in bed with you is not what made me think of my sister.” Luke held up an Oreo. “It was the cookies.” He split the wafers open. “My sister … she spent a lot of time in the hospital when we were kids.”
“I’m so sorry,” Julia said quietly.
She didn’t ask for details, didn’t press for more information. Which, for some reason, only made him want to tell her even more. “She had cancer. Childhood leukemia. Was diagnosed when she was six. The next three years were hell.” He stared down at the two halves of the cookie, remembering how Pen would insist on splitting and sharing with him instead of each of them eating their own. Said they tasted better that way.
Luke swallowed against the pain of all those memories. The agony he’d watched her go through. “No matter how bad it got, though, she always found something to be happy about.” He handed Julia half.
“And eating cookies in bed was one of those things that made her happy?” she asked.
He nodded.
“What else?”
He smiled despite himself. “Rom-coms.”
“Oh, wow.” Julia licked the cream from her cookie. “I bet she would love it here.”
“Yeah,” Luke agreed. He was threading the needle here. Not lying, exactly, but omitting significant pieces of the puzzle. “She’d design it and then probably want to run the place herself.”
Hell. I am going to hell. Should he just tell her everything now?
“I bet you made her happy,” Julia said, continuing to lick the cream from her half.
That caught him off guard. “I’m her brother.” He shrugged. “I was there for her.”
“And your parents?”
He winced. Now she chooses to be nosy. “They were there too, of course.” He frowned. “But this strange … resentfulness seemed to develop. They never directed it at my sister, but it manifested in other ways.”
“The other day on the beach … you said they were selfish.”
“They were.” He picked at the filling on his cookie. “My sister went into remission at ten; by the time she was twelve, they were divorced.”
“You’d think going through something like that together would make a couple stronger,” Julia mused.
“You’d think.” He shook his head. “It was too much for them. Her illness. The difficulties of watching her suffer, the exhaustive schedule of hospital stays and treatments, the burden of medical bills.” Luke shoved the cookie in his mouth, not wanting to talk about this anymore. Not wanting to spoil this special night by poisoning it with the past. Sharing a little about his sister was one thing, but he didn’t want to taint the moment with thoughts of his parents. Those emotional vampires had sucked enough happiness out of his life.
“I can’t imagine how horrible that must have been, but I think I can understand … a little.” Julia said. She stared down at her half-eaten half of a cookie. “The summer before I started college, I got really sick. Nobody could figure out what was wrong with me. For a while, the doctors thought it might be thyroid cancer, but it turns out I had Graves’ disease, which actually sounds much scarier than it is.”
Sensing she had more to say, Luke waited, silently urging her to continue.
“I mean, it’s scary but manageable. It’s definitely nothing like cancer. I just need to be on meds for the rest of my life. See a doctor regularly to monitor my symptoms, and get my thyroid checked occasionally to make sure I don’t develop cancer later.” Julia sighed. “And all that costs money and requires insurance, so…” She broke the last bit of her cookie into two tiny halves.
“So…?” Luke pressed gently.
“So you end up being forced to choose what you need over what you want.” She considered the fragmented pieces. “And sometimes having to choose can make you resentful.”
“Can’t it be both?” Luke asked. “What if what you need is what you want?”
She laughed, finishing off her cookie. “That sure would make life a lot easier, wouldn’t it?”
Her laughter washed over him, cleansing the bitterness from his thoughts. Luke pulled her close, scattering cookie wrappers and crumbs without a care. “All I know right now,” he said, brushing her hair away from her face, “is that I need you.” He kissed one corner of her mouth, then the other. “And I want you.”
Luke woke slowly, disoriented at first as he shifted on a bed that was not his. Details from last night began to download into his mind, and he blinked. Julia. Instinctively, he reached an arm out. The space in bed next to him was empty but still warm. He sat up and glanced around.
She must have heard him stirring, because she poked her head out of the bathroom, toothbrush in hand. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”
“Morning,” he croaked, still groggy. He wondered what time it was. Without the corgi parade at the crack of dawn, he’d slept like a rock. The sex might have had something to do with it, too. His body was relaxed, sated in a bone-deep way that just felt good.
Barefoot and wrapped in a fluffy hotel robe, Julia shuffled out of the bathroom. Her hair was pulled up on top of her head in a messy bun that wobbled charmingly as she bounded back into bed. She was fresh-faced and smelled of minty toothpaste and lemony soap.
Mint and lemon. He liked it. He imagined waking up to those scents every day, of her face being the first thing he saw each morning. He liked that, too.
“What are your plans for the day?” she asked.
“Me?” His brain scrambled inside his skull. It wasn’t fair that he was expected to think clearly when she was looking at him like that. Early morning sunlight streamed across the bed, lighting up her face, making her eyes glow, the greens and browns of her irises ever shifting, drawing him in. “Uh, I’m not sure.”
“Don’t tell me you’re bored of me already,” she teased.
Her voice was light, but he sensed the thread of concern beneath. This bond between them was so new, so fragile.
“Never.” He nuzzled her neck. “I’ve been wanting to do this since last night,” he confessed, mouth pressed to the hollow at the base of her throat.
“Mmm.” She dropped her head back, giving him better access.
“Yes, just like that.” Luke smiled, relishing the way her sounds of pleasure vibrated against his lips.
“What else is on this list?” she asked, as he moved to press a kiss to the tender skin behind her ear.
“Well,” he said, tugging at the belt on her robe. He pushed the soft folds of fabric open, revealing her breasts. “Since you asked…”
It was a long time before he’d exhausted that list, and when they finally fell back against the pillows, Luke was ready for a nap. He thought he’d been relaxed before, but his bones felt like water now. Julia was lying on her side, snuggled against him, her back to his front. He traced lazy patterns across her bare shoulders. “How about we stay here all day,” he suggested.
“Sorry, no can do.” Julia laughed, the sound he loved tickling his chest. She rolled over to face him, wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. Clearly, their recent activity had the opposite effect on her. “There’s a full day planned.”
“Fine,” he grumbled in good-natured defeat. “As long as it’s not more karaoke, I’m up for anything.”
She smiled. “Your singing wasn’t that bad.”
“See?” He matched her smile. “You admit it was bad.”
“I am curious, though.” She fiddled with the blankets. “Why that song?”
Luke wasn’t sure he could tell her what he’d told his sister, didn’t know how to explain it to Julia in a way that didn’t make him sound like a lovesick fool …
Because that’s exactly what he was.
“The song is about finding the courage to tell someone you like how you feel,” he admitted. “What it’s like to be near that person.”
“Head over heels,” Julia said, not quite singing the words, “when toe-to-toe.”
“That’s how I felt, the first time we met on the beach. Standing toe-to-toe in the sand with you…” Luke paused, struggling to get the words out. “I think I fell then.”
“Yeah, you fell.” Her voice had taken on a playful quality. “Literally.”
Luke’s mouth twitched. He reached for her hand, needing to touch her. “Are you saying you didn’t fall for me too?”
“No, I fell on you,” she corrected, clearly relishing teasing him.
He grinned and decided to deliver some teasing of his own. “You’ve had your karaoke serenade, but did I ever tell you what I picked for my bonus activity?”
“Eating cookies in bed?” she suggested.
He shook his head, mouth quirking as he grabbed the nearest squishy weapon and held it aloft, priming for battle. “Pillow fight.”