34 SUBTLE SLEEPINESS OR DULLNESS

As I mentioned in the previous chapter, getting some sleep during meditation is not a bad thing! But it is not practicing awareness. What is confusing is when we are in dreamy, peaceful states that are subtler than outright exhaustion or falling asleep and we wonder, “Is this natural awareness?”

It is a tricky question to answer because a peaceful, concentrated mind and a sleepy mind are very close experientially. In fact, if we have a lot of concentration but not much energy, we might find ourselves getting sleepy. (The reverse would be a lot of energy but not much concentration, which makes us restless.) A concentrated mind can feel very enjoyable, but without the energy to bolster it, it has a sinking or sometimes dull quality to it.

So people often report having a very peaceful mind with not much happening, and they think this is a kind of natural awareness. Or their mind seems very subdued, quite peaceful, but it has a dull quality to it. In other words, there is no brightness—no cognizing or awareness, just peace and a bit of disconnection. Some people report a mind that seems not so present, yet this state feels great.

To determine whether you’re truly in natural awareness or just in a subdued, peaceful state, while meditating you can ask these two questions:

          •   Is awareness present? If not, pay closer attention to exactly what it is you’re experiencing in your body and mind. As we bring curiosity to it, we can sometimes increase the energy and bring in more awareness, which counteracts the dullness.

          •   Is clinging present? Are you, for example, subtly enjoying the dulled-out state? As we investigate here, we might discover subtle clinging, and by shining the light of awareness on it, the clinging lets go.

Again, it’s not always easy to tell whether you are experiencing subtle sleepiness or natural awareness, but these two questions will help you if you are not sure.