How to make her mother understand? ‘Even if I’m a perfect match,’ said Sam, ‘and even if Charlie recovers quickly, she’s still going to be in hospital for weeks, maybe months. I can’t go anywhere for a while.’ Didn’t Faith realise how important it was for Sam to spend time with Charlie?
‘But I’ve already bought the tickets,’ said Faith, ‘and arranged the itinerary. Dad’s going to meet us there.’ Sam shook her head. ‘But you love France, and your grandmother is expecting you.’ She gave Sam a particularly intense look. ‘She’s eighty this year … it may be the last time.’
‘Don’t give me that,’ said Sam. ‘Mamie will outlive us all. You know I love France, and of course I’d love to see Dad too – but I can’t go now.’
‘You’re punishing me for protecting you,’ said Faith. Sam struggled against a rising tide of resentment. ‘I had your best interests at heart, darling.’
‘Maybe you thought you were protecting me, but you weren’t. You were lying to me, that’s all. You and Dad.’ Sam had spoken to her father on the phone earlier in the evening. What she’d hoped for was a proper apology, and some attempt to explain why he’d made a lie of her life. What she got instead was a flat denial of her right even to know. She’d have preferred excuses. It would have been easier if it didn’t get out, he’d said, as if that was that. And this whole debacle proves my point. Easier for who? This is about me, not you, Dad, she’d tried to say. If he’d had his way, she’d probably still be in the dark, dying sister or not. She had to give Faith some credit. At least she’d found courage enough to do the right thing in the end.
‘I knew this would happen,’ said Faith. ‘I knew I’d lose you some day.’
‘You’re not losing me, Mum. I love you, and I’m your daughter, no matter what. I just can’t go to Europe right now, that’s all. There’s nothing to stop you from going.’
‘Maybe I will,’ said Faith in an injured voice. ‘Don’t you go falling for this Mary woman. Remember I’m the one who’s loved you all these years.’ There was an undercurrent of real anxiety in her voice.
Sam blinked back the start of tears. ‘I won’t fall for Mary. I don’t know if I even like her. But I have to be around to help Charlie recover – and I want to get to know her. It’s about time, don’t you think?’
Faith eyed Sam suspiciously. It had been an emotional morning for them both. Sam had demanded answers, and for once she’d had Faith well and truly on the back foot. Endometriosis, her mother had said. Nobody could imagine how she’d suffered. And a diagnosis of premature ovarian failure at thirty-two. ‘You were the answer to all my prayers, Samantha. Daddy’s too.’ She poured herself a glass of shiraz, and wrinkled up her face, like the wine wasn’t good enough, but then nothing was ever good enough for Faith. ‘I loved you from the very first moment,’ Faith said simply. ‘I had no idea, actually, that I could love somebody like that.’ She took a sip. ‘And now you stab me in the heart.’
Sam sighed, frustration and sadness clouding her mind. It was too much to expect, apparently, for her parents to see that this wasn’t about them. ‘Mum, you know that’s not fair. I’m going to bed,’ said Sam, ‘and I’m going to the hospital first thing in the morning. And I’m not going to France.’ She tried to make it to the stairs before her mother could play the victim again.
‘Fine,’ called Faith, raising her voice and following Sam from the room. ‘Do as you please.’