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TRAVIS TURNED OVER on the floor, seeking the source for something that had triggered his conscious mind. Standing directly above him holding stuffed animals were bookend kids not far out of their toddler years. They just stood staring down at him with their curly little heads of hair askew from sleep and those cherubic faces small children were blessed with. He felt something in the vicinity of his heart hitch a notch.
“Good morning,” he said.
“I have to go potty,” the little boy said.
“Okay, did you try to get your mom?”
“We couldn’t weach the door knob,” the little girl said, her bottom lip quivering.
“Let me see if I can help,” he said, leveraging himself off the ground.
“Wow!” the little boy said reverently, looking up at him with half-dollar sized eyes.
Considering their mother was pint sized, he was certain his extra-large frame was imposing to the little guy. The two kids stood holding each other’s hands staring at him as if they would burst into tears without provocation. As he crossed the room and knocked on Emily’s door, he turned back to see they hadn’t moved an inch. Within barely a second, a head appeared matching the two sprites in the other room. She also had to look up at him. Those two definitely had her eyes, he thought as the baby blues pinned him.
“They couldn’t reach the knob for the bathroom and my size appears to have frozen them in place,” he whispered to her.
“I’m so sorry,” she started rushing past him to the kids. “I hope they didn’t wake you,” she said, ushering the children into the bathroom before closing the door with her back against it as she faced him. The reaction startled him, as did the fear in her eyes as she stood protectively in front of the door.
“No harm,” he shrugged and turned to fiddle with the fire until the children were quickly herded back to the bedroom. He had to relieve himself, and she appeared to need a moment. He understood his size to be intimidating, but he had never frightened anyone like that before.
Closing the bathroom door he lifted the lid, and cursed under his breath. What the heck was the soup pot doing in the toilet? Lifting it out, he found a towel to set it on, afraid it would be wet, and realized the issue. The bowl was bone dry. Opening the door, he trudged back to the closet a few feet away, three sets of eyes following his every move. He turned the valve that supplied water to the cabin and returned to finish his business, shutting the bathroom door behind.
After taking care of his morning routine, he returned to the kitchen, where he was surprised to see a nightgown-clad Emily with her bottom in the air, holding the door jamb and hanging outside the front door scooping snow into a pan sitting on the step.
“What are you doing?” he asked, walking past the two tiny wide eyed statues to rescue their mom from her folly. She was going to freeze to death.
His voice must have startled her, and she let go of the door jamb with the hand that secured her. His hands shot out and grabbed her before she tumbled into the snow, quickly setting her upright in front of him and pushing the door shut.
She jerked around to face him silently for a moment before moving away a few feet. It was obvious she was fighting to regain her composure.
“What was I doing wrong?”
He could have sworn her bottom lip quivered, but she bit down on it and lowered her head slightly. She reminded him more of an injured dog than a grown woman, and something again niggled at the back of his brain.
“I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you, but I thought you were going to end up in the snow bank,” he explained, trying to hold on to his patience. “What were you doing out there in your nightgown?”
“Getting water to boil for oatmeal,” she said as if he was a bit off.
He chuckled—that would explain the pot in the toilet.
“I turned the water valve back on. It’s in the utility closet,” he motioned in that direction. “We have running water again. I would ask you keep a small stream of water coming out of the facets overnight so the pipes don’t freeze.”
“Oh ... that is ... thank you,” she said and turned with hurried steps back in the direction of the stove.
Skittish little thing, he thought.
“I’m going to get some more wood,” he indicated the door.
“I’ll have breakfast ready when you get back.”
“It’s a deal,” he said, inclined to whistle as he started toward the door. Turning back, he found her bustling about the kitchen and the two little mirror images playing with something on the table.
“Hey, what are the little one’s names?”
She turned around and examined his face. “Sam and Sarah, they are only four so sometimes they are a handful, but I promise to try and keep them occupied ...”
“I just needed to know what to call them, they aren’t bothering me,” he said and disappeared out the door.
It was half a truth. He didn’t like his solitude in general being displaced by the three of them. Experience told him eyes never lied, and all of the tiny bodies in that cabin were running from something. He knew fear and loss when he saw it. They needed the cabin more than he did. He needed to get into town, call his sister, figure out what their story was, and after that he would decide on his next move. For now, he might not like it, but he didn’t kick the wounded when they were down, no matter how much his peace of mind suffered.
***
EMILY FINISHED PREPARING the oatmeal and put the bowls on the table. She sat one down in front of the fourth seat and across from where she was about to recline. Not certain what Travis might like on his oatmeal, she made sure the brown sugar and raisins she had brought were within reaching distance for him. Not that he couldn’t reach—the man was a giant. She felt like a little girl around him, as he must outweigh her by at least a hundred pounds.
Unlike Tony, he was clean, hadn’t raised his voice yet, and despite his size moved about quietly, but she had long ago given up believing in fairy tales or Prince Charming. She hadn’t ever tried to imagine what Jenna’s brother looked like when he had come up in passing conversations. After her experience with Tony and her father, she had no interest in men and shied away from contact with their entire species. She had obtained her Certified Nursing Certification the previous year and was able to work with men in a clinical, detached fashion in controlled environments that put her at ease. Being in the cramped cabin with Travis was not clinical or detached in any way.
Travis wasn’t anything like his sunny, bright and always optimistic sister. Jenna had been a godsend for Emily when they had met at the women’s shelter the day she had drummed up the courage to escape from Tony with the twins three years ago. She could remember with crystal clear detail that defining moment in her life. It had been the bravest and hardest thing she had done to date.
Tony had found work that day, but come home after twelve hours of manual labor in a foul mood and already eight beers into a case. She had hurried to get his dinner on the table and Sarah and Sam out of the main living area when he arrived. As he had shoved past her and stumbled into the bedroom, she heard Sarah over the baby monitor, and everything had erupted. He couldn’t hear her pleas over his own cursing, but she had somehow taken Sarah from him before he could hurt her, willingly allowing him to use her as a punching bag instead. She was able to back him out of the room between punches, but the escalation that night had broken her, and the need to protect the twins had overcome everything else.
When Tony had finally fallen asleep, she packed up what she could in the diaper bag, took the shelter’s card she had found pinned on the little board at the grocery store the week before, and walked to the nearest phone. It was Jenna who answered the hotline number that night and arrived quicker than Emily had thought possible to take them to the shelter.
As she recalled that day, she gazed over at the perfectly content four-year-olds and couldn’t help but smile. Jenna and the others at Wings of Hope had helped her get a job. It turned out she wasn’t as dumb as her father and Tony had always told her. Soon she had been accepted to the Junior College and graduated with an Associate Degree and her Certified Nursing Certification. She dreamed about going back to finish her nursing degree, but that would have to wait a while.
It was tough working and making ends meet, but Jenna graciously watched the twins for her after they got out of school each day. She knew that what she paid Jenna wasn’t enough, but she still made the effort every week. It felt good standing on her own two feet, and somewhere down the road she was confident she could support her children even better once she did enough hours and possibly earned a raise. She wanted to put her troubled history behind her and just focus on her two children and building a brighter future for them as a family.
She saw Travis start into the room from the back of the cabin, and the movement dragged her out of her own mind.
“Would you like some coffee?” she asked.
“Oh man, that smells like heaven,” he said with a grin, walking toward her.
“I can pour it.” She backed up an inch, bumping into the counter.
“Emily, you don’t have to wait on me,” he said. “I appreciate the coffee and oatmeal, but I don’t have a maid at home and I don’t expect one while you are here.” He smiled down at her and grabbed a mug from the shelf over her head.
“More,” Sarah demanded picking up her bowl.
Emily chuckled as she moved forward, the warm gooey feeling spreading when she saw her cute baby girl giving her that big grin complete with oatmeal framing her mouth.
“What do you say?” she asked her sweetly.
“Pweeese,” she said in that adorable tone only children have, fluttering her massive lashes over those gorgeous blue eyes Emily envied her.
Emily took the bowl and shaking her head turned, catching a strange look as it crossed Travis’ face. Small details Jenna had shared about him and losing his own little girl flited through her memory, and she reached out, overcome with an urge to soothe him, stopping short of laying a hand on him directly.
“I’m so sorry about your little girl,” she whispered.
He moved his eyes to her, “Thanks. I don’t spend time with kids these days ... and I just forgot for a moment how they can make your heart melt.”
“I like to think so,” she said softly.
Feeling a pull of something that unsettled her stomach, she moved away to refill the oatmeal bowl in front of her daughter. Other than the men she was forced to work with and Jenna’s sweet husband, Clayton, she avoided creatures of the opposite sex. They had never given her any reason not to. Of course Jenna had spoken highly of her brother and obviously adored him. She trusted Jenna above everyone else on earth these days, so she figured she could trust him ... until he gives me reason not to, the tiny voice in the back of her head added. She squared her shoulders and decided to make the best of a bad situation.
***
AFTER BREAKFAST TRAVIS helped clean up and then made his excuses to leave. The kids and Emily hadn’t done anything wrong, except for being here. Unfortunately, all the togetherness and family time was biting at him something fierce.
“I’m going to try and make it into town,” he said as cheerfully as he could muster. “Need anything?”
He watched her face closely and knew something was wrong. She appeared to be struggling with some problem, and something else was going on in that mind he couldn’t quite discern. It was a new sensation for him. He had always been able to read Ellen. This woman was a mystery, bundled in a conundrum.
“I am going to need some groceries, but haven’t had time to do an inventory,” she nervously walked toward the tiny kitchen.
“Tell you what—I need to unload some woodworking projects I brought and straighten up out in the work shed. Do you think an hour would give you enough time to put together a plan?”
“You are willing to wait that long?” She bit her bottom lip worriedly.
“No problem,” he bent to slip his boots on.
“Umm ... how long are you staying?” she asked. When he turned noticed that she was still chewing on her lip, it was easy to tell she was uneasy with something, but not wanting to broach the subject.
“I had planned to go home the day before Christmas, but truth be told, I’m going to call Jenna from town and see what we need to do.”
He stopped wondering why the question, and turned the tables on her. “You trying to kick me out of my own cabin?” he teased.
The red stained her face in a heartbeat. “No! I just ... for meal planning ... I just—” she turned away from him in distress.
She sure is jumpy, he thought again. He still wondered what she and the two little blonde angels were running from. He knew she wasn’t about to tell him. He also didn’t have to worry about her hitting on him, although he wouldn’t have minded, he thought. Stunned as that omission ricocheted over his nerve endings, he sat on the bench by the door and pretended to fiddle with his boots.
It had been over four years since he had been with a woman, and not once since the death of his wife had he even been tempted. So why did one diminutive blonde with haunted sapphire blue eyes framed by ridiculously long lashes have to make that need rise back to the surface? He could hear her busily moving items in the kitchen, so he risked another look. She probably didn’t even measure five foot tall, well curved but in a toned way. Her hair was tacked up in a messy bun, but the light danced off the glossy locks. She had a pert little nose with freckles splashed against the kind of cheekbones supermodels were known to kill for, or so he had heard. Sam and Sarah playing at her feet told her there was a man in her life though, or had been in the recent past. And as much as he didn’t want another woman, he didn’t want drama in his world even more. And Emily had DRAMA written in big letters across her forehead.
“Emily, how long had you planned on staying?” he asked standing to exit.
“I’m not sure, but school starts again the seventh of January for them,” she indicated the twins, “So before then, I guess,” although the strain cutting crevices of worry in her forehead told him there were obstacles to that happening.
“Do you have a job?”
“I did, but ... well, I lost it last week.” she said absently rubbing her back. She glanced down at the twins. “I will need to go back to work but ... I ...” she stopped and stared at them. “I need to be sure I have things figured out first,” she finished cryptically. “I finished Junior College with my associates and certified nursing certificate and was hoping to start Nursing School in the next year or two,” she said turning to him with the first genuine smile he had seen. The pride reflected back at him causing her eyes to glimmer like ice blue diamonds.
“That is wonderful.”
“Thanks. But ... unless I figure out ... I can’t risk someone taking them,” she said hoarsely. “So I probably just need to find a new job.”
He couldn’t fathom how her trying to better herself was such a bad thing. He had some direct questions and figured Jenna was the better person to give him the answers.
“Well, I better ...” he turned toward the door.
“I’ll have the list waiting.”
***
EMILY WORKED CLEANING out the cabinets for about fifteen minutes. A few items were so old she had to chuck them in the trash; others she inventoried as she measured and totaled for use in recipes during their stay. Without the fear of Tony interrupting her, she felt almost giddy as she went about her work. At one point she stopped short, realizing she was humming a Christmas song.
As she stepped off the chair she had perched on to reach the upper shelves, Sarah grabbed her attention.
“Look mama,” she held up a blanket, “We are making a fort!” The look of pure merriment at the “fort” in progress made her grin. Leave those two up to their own devices and she was amazed at the things they came up with. Despite their young ages, they kept each other occupied and were such sweet kids. On occasion they got into something that required swift intervention, but she would take the impish with the good without hesitation.
Sam came toddling out of the room she had slept in, making a valiant effort to drag all of the bed clothes behind him.
“How about just the top blanket?” she called.
“Okay,” he said snagging that and continuing to walk, dropping the sheets and secondary blanket on the floor.
She shook her head, hurried over and picked up the discarded blankets, tossed them back on the bed and turned to see what other help she could offer. She hoisted the blankets over the high-backed chairs and anchored them with pillows. As Sarah and Sam went back inside to finishing their nesting deep within the shelter, she turned to finish the food inventory. There was a good supply of canned goods for one, but making anything for four of them would be tricky with the sparse foodstuffs and limited resources she could claim.
Sitting she took the list of items she had and made out a menu plan. She included easy hearty meals such as baked ziti and chicken with dumplings. Finally she added snacks, fresh fruit and plenty of sugar, flour and odds and ends for baking to round out her wish list. Sitting back, she looked down at the extensive list and started putting estimated costs next to each item based on her recollections from previous week’s shopping excursions. This was her process weekly. She would make her wish list of items, and then reality would intervene. After a final tally that was in excess of $200, she took out a blank sheet of paper and did some recalculating.
If she made extra ziti, which was cheap, she could do leftovers. Baking was a luxury she couldn’t yet afford, she reasoned even as her heart pinched a bit as it was Christmas after all. She always loved the smell of sugar cookies at Christmas, but it was a luxury her current situation could ill afford. Finally, the tiny oranges were her one fresh item and some cheese sticks for the kids. Pulling the finished list close, she recalculated, happier with the bottom line. For the five thousandth time in her adult life she promised someday it would be different. She dug for her wallet and removed some of the cash she had tucked inside. She would need to get some more from an ATM as soon as she had an opportunity.
Putting the money on the list, she scooted her chair out and slid under the table, tickling the first belly she found. The tent was not big enough due to big sagging spots. She rearranged everything using the chairs and a trunk they found, and soon they had a great open-area tent the three of them could play within easily. They were so busy setting things up and chattering, they didn’t hear the door open.
She jolted when Travis said, “Hello,” from outside the tent someplace.
As she moved to the side trying to find the opening, Sarah slipped underneath the wall.
“We made a fort,” she announced as Emily crawled under the table. As she looked up, she couldn’t help but notice the contained grin on Travis’ face.
“Sorry, I hope you don’t mind,” she said, a bit worried they may have overstepped.
“Not at all. I remember some major forts Jenna and I made as kids,” he looked over at the table. “Did you finish the list?”
She stood trying to reclaim some dignity and turned to grab the list, but suddenly remembered not having checked the refrigerator.
“One last thing,” she held up a finger as she rushed to the fridge. Only the little cartons of milk and eggs Travis brought were inside. She checked the freezer, finding nothing.
She turned back to him, extending the list, only to find him crouched down with Sarah showing him the fort. He was patiently asking the children questions as if it were a real house he was looking to buy. She couldn’t remember a single moment Tony had given them that kind of attention. Shaking her head, she exiled the thought as he stood up and turned in her direction.
“I think this is it, and the money should cover the cost. If it’s more I will pay ...”
“I’m sure it will be good,” he took the list and looked it over. “You sure this is it?”
“Yeah, I can make good hearty meals with leftovers and make do for a week from that.”
“Hmmm ...”
“If there is something else you want to eat, I’m willing to fix it for you ... but ...”
“I’ll eat what you do ... I’m not picky,” he said. Turning, he looked back at the fort as if something was on his mind.
“Did I do something wrong?” she asked sorting through her mind to figure out what it could be.
“Not at all,” he said quietly. “It should take me three hours to get there, take care of all my errands including groceries, and get back, so don’t worry.”
“Okay, thanks for doing this ... I hadn’t really thought about how to get food from town.”
“See ya,” he said and turned to crouch once more. “Bye, you two,” he mouthed into the opening of the tent under the table.
She had to turn to the sink and stay busy. Something about the scene was niggling at her, and she didn’t want to begin dissecting her feelings with him still present. It wasn’t long before the boot crunching and door opening signaled his departure.
She walked absently across the room to rejoin the twins. Something about the man was getting under her skin, making her uncomfortable, and this was just less than twenty-four hours after meeting him. That didn’t bode well for the rest of their time together. She was used to people looking down their nose, being rude, belittling and thinking she was a bad person for being a single mom. Others had pity in their eyes the several times she had been hospitalized or in the shelter. Only Jenna and a couple of her instructors had begun to truly make her feel like a valuable, contributing adult woman. Hope, possibility and even worth were new adjectives for her.
Travis, though, just accepted and didn’t appear to have a judgmental bone one way or the other. In some ways he seemed more vulnerable than she was, and somehow, she knew he wouldn’t do anything to harm her or the twins. That blind faith ... that was the thing causing her the most consternation. She had felt it the moment they met, and it hadn’t wavered even when her little demon voices caused other outward reactions. He was like warm salve on her broken spirit, but it was dangerous to let her guard down. She was going to need a plan—and soon. She had two children and her own heart to guard, and after years of upward battling, she refused to lose ground because someone was simply being kind.
