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SUNDAY TRAVIS APPLIED one more coat of stain and then decided to take the rest of the day off. Emily had indicated a big lunch mid-afternoon, and he knew after their time together thus far his absence put her at ease to own the kitchen, so he had made himself scarce. She had not uttered a word the entire ride home from town the day before. He didn’t want to intrude where he wasn’t wanted, but the black cloud had not seemed to dissipate this morning, and the tension was putting him on edge. Whether the attorney or his sister had given her information that put her in the funk, he didn’t know, but if she didn’t lighten up shortly, he was going to have to find a way to get her to talk.
Kicking the snow from his boots on the makeshift porch, he slid a foot out and quietly opened the door. It was just about the time the twins lay down to rest, and it was possible Emily would also be lying down. He was hoping to sneak in a shower before dinner. He started tip toeing across the room, when Emily suddenly stood up with her back to him, holding a platter with a roast on it in front of the stove. He stood frozen, not certain if he should cough, keep walking, or say something out loud to announce his presence. She was so engrossed he figured he was safe continuing on to the bathroom.
The squeaky floorboard had not entered into his calculations, and it gave his position away with a sound that echoed around the quiet cabin. Emily turned fast, then juggled, trying to maintain control of the platter. It was not to be, and he watched first meat, then platter and finally Emily all land on the floor.
He moved swiftly to her side, but the deluge of tears had started, and she sat in the middle of the floor sobbing before he could determine his next move. Crouching down, he retrieved the roast and set it on the cutting board by the sink.
“I think it’s okay,” he said, moving a foot closer to the tiny mewing mess. “Ever hear of the five second rule?”
“I’m so sorry,” she said keeping her head bowed. “I can’t do anything right. I just ... wanted,” she sniffled, “it to be perfect.”
“It’s a piece of meat.”
“It ... it was so expensive ... I could never afford ... I wanted it to be perfect and ... and now I ruined it. I’m so sorry.”
He had all he could do not to pull her into his arms and kiss away the hurt, but common sense told him she wasn’t ready for that, so he just stooped down in front of her and lightly rubbed her arm. She was uncomfortable with any human contact except for what she got from the two tiny little cherubs who possessed her heart. Besides, he was pretty sure it wasn’t just the meat causing the current emotional distress.
“Emily, what happened in town yesterday?”
Her head snapped up, and the shiny sky blue eyes tore at him. She was so sad he wished he could do something to help, but the fact that he wanted to get involved scared him at the same time. We are a fine pair, he thought as he waited patiently. She’s afraid of her own shadow and I’m afraid of what she’s doing to my heart, so we’re both holding back.
“My attorney says Tony and his parents filed for custody. They ... they said my running away and ... and leaving my job was careless and ... and irresponsible.” The tears started gushing again as she swiped at them. “Sh ... shows I can’t take care of the ... the twins.”
“What did Jenna say about it?”
“First, I didn’t leave my job I got fired because I was in the hospital after he ... hurt me. She said we have a good case, with their history of violence, drugs and drinking ... but,” she shrugged. “Anything could happen! I can’t let him get them. He will really hurt them.”
Travis sat down on the floor next to her. The justice system always seemed a mystery to him.
“The man that took my wife and daughter’s life was drunk the night it happened. He avoided a trial because of a deal the DA made with him and pled to vehicular manslaughter. He will be out of prison next year.” He sighed, rubbing his hands over his eyes. “I don’t understand how judges make some of the decisions they do ... but I wouldn’t risk giving them the ammunition. Have they set a date?”
“Yeah, end of January.”
“You can get a job by then, and you have lots of documentation about the abuse ... you need to testify about how he—”
“No, I can’t!”
“Emily, it could be the only chance,” he turned, confused at why she wouldn’t use the only leverage she possessed to rid herself of this man’s tyranny over her life.
“You don’t understand. I was only eighteen when I got pregnant. My ... my parents were both known as the town druggies, and I’ve been in and out of the foster care system my entire life. When I first met Tony, he was older, claimed he wanted to take care of me. That lasted only until the moment he found out I was pregnant. That was the first time he—well, he hit me a lot. I thought I was going to lose my babies more than once.”
“Emily, I’m so sorry. But you got smart and left him to do better for your children.”
“The first time he laid hands on Sarah, it was over,” she said with the conviction of a mother hen. “But with the history of drugs, alcohol and...”
“Do you do drugs?”
“No! Never!”
“Do you drink when you have the kids?”
“I never drink ... I’ve always been afraid I could end up like my parents or Tony and his mom and dad.”
“Until last week, were you gainfully employed?”
“Yes, and I lost my job because of Tony.”
“Have you ever made the kids go to bed hungry?”
“No! I have ... before ... but never them!”
“Sweetie, you are the definition of a good mom. So why not testify to that ... you obviously love those kids ...”
“He’s found me before when I’ve done something he didn’t like,’ she whispered as her head ducked lower. “I just can’t.”
“Hmmm ... maybe it’s time to move away for good.”
She looked up at him with the most defeated look he had ever seen.
“I wish I could. But I have to go back for the hearing ... and I just,” she sighed, “I just don’t have the money to do anything else.”
She swiped her tears away one last time and pulled herself up off the floor.
“Do you really think we can fix the roast?”
“Yep, let’s just wash it ... reapply some seasoning and put in the warm oven,” he said, moving as he spoke.
“Thank you,” she whispered from behind him.
He turned slowly. “For what?”
“For being so nice to my kids ... and me,” she spoke so softly.
He just shook his head and smiled at her, “I didn’t do any more for you ... than you have done for me. You are cooking, keeping the cabin clean ... and keeping me company.”
She just smiled up at him for a moment longer and then turning went back to her work. Finishing with the roast, he put it into the oven and finished making his way to the bathroom. Such a strange situation he was living. He wished he could fix the situation for Emily and her kids, but it seemed overwhelming and outside of his realm of experience. He fervently hoped he never crossed paths with Tony. Travis had never thrown a punch at another human being, but he wasn’t certain that record would hold if he ran into the man.
***
EMILY TRIED TO NOT kick herself as she finished up that evening. After the disastrous scene in the kitchen with the roast, she had felt both better and worse. Travis somehow managed to keep her constantly at odds with her own emotions. It had felt good to express her concerns to him and have his support and encouragement. Even when she was clumsy and stupid, he was helpful and kind. Dinner had gone off without another hitch. Lucky for her, neither of the twins had the same bashful, emotionally charged reactions to being in the same room with Travis. Instead, they competed to see who could maintain his attention for the longest with funny food tricks, stories and general merriment. For that she was grateful as she could eat in peace and not worry about his attention being focused on her.
Drying the last of the dishes she had left until the kiddos had gone to bed, she looked around the kitchen for anything else needing her attention. Even without television and work to keep her busy, she found something to fill every spare moment at the cabin. She was coming to dread the day they would need to leave. Folding the hand towel she held and laying it next to the sink, she walked into the main room. Absently picking up the few toys left behind, she took just a moment to stretch out in front of the warm fire. One more look and she decided early to bed was going to be her motto, so she took off for her room. Travis would be outside working in the shed for a while yet, and the twins were already fast asleep.
It was further from the warmth of the stove, so she made quick work of the undressing, burrowed under her covers, and within moments was fast asleep.
The sound was almost indiscernible, but it crashed through her and she was immediately on alert. Someone was moving around and she knew, even without seeing his face, he had found her. She heard the door next door open, and it propelled her into action. It was important for her to lead him out of the room, out of the cabin, away from the twins.
She didn’t feel the cold as she ran through the snow in her pajamas, feet bare—she just kept moving. The moment he crashed out the front door into the snow chasing her down, she pushed herself harder to stay ahead of him. It was futile—he gained on her with each pump of her legs and arms attempting to expand the distance separating them. She felt the scream trapped in her throat, but no sound would come forth, and her legs were numb and threatening to buckle under her body. She tried to run, but her concrete feet would not move another inch. She put her hands around one limb and pulled, trying to free it from the snow which now trapped her. Her breath came in raspy bursts, her lungs burning with the exertion of moving her foot just an inch. She heard a growl just inside the tree line to her side. She looked over, expecting to see the eyes attached to a feral animal boring into her, but there was nothing.
Swinging her head to the other side, she didn’t hear anyone behind her any longer. She stood perfectly still and listened. Deafening silence greeted her, as she continued to inch forward in the knee deep snow. Gradually she found a pace and continued to battle her way forward ... to what, she was not certain as the cabin was no longer in sight.
Her ears perked up at the sound of something crashing through the trees off to her right. She sluggishly picked up her pace, feeling the weight of her feet lift slightly, allowing her mobility to increase incrementally. She could hear the sound getting closer as a flock of birds arose from their perches, piercing the nighttime stillness with shrieks of warning.
She found herself running from the cold, from the invisible force moving through the forest and from a hundred other fears she couldn’t put into words. She needed to get warm, she needed to find the cabin, and she needed to get back to Sarah and Sam and ensure their safety. She put one foot determinedly in front of the other, and then the next focused on moving ... just moving.
The tears that ran down her cheeks turned to ice and burned her cold, icy skin. She couldn’t feel her fingers, and as she looked down at them, she noticed the bruises that had appeared on her skin. She couldn’t remember getting hurt, she thought as they spread out further before her bewildered eyes. She didn’t have time to catalogue her injuries as the sound was coming closer. She looked around frantically as Tony burst from the trees, wielding a tree branch, closing the gap between them. The snarl on his face told her what he intended. The large limb swinging over his shoulder gained momentum as he swung it down on her. The scream building in her throat suddenly ripped out of her lungs ....
“My God!” Travis flung the door open violently, rousing her from the dream and rushed to her bed. “Em ... it’s ok. It was a dream ...”
Then he was rocking her and whispering soft mutterings of safety and well-being into her hair where his head rested. She gave in to the warmth where moments earlier only cold had lived and wrapped her arms around his middle, sobbing out her fear into his chest. Long after the crying stopped, he held her. Then the shaking subsided, and finally her eyes drifted closed. Exhausted, she slept eight hours straight for the first time in her recent memory.
