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TRAVIS WAS NERVOUS as a teenager going on his first date as he headed home to surprise Emily. In just a few days she was due in court, and her footing in his life was hanging in the balance of the words the judge declared. He had made numerous calls after the bombshell had been dropped and had time to contemplate all angles. Twice since, he had awakened to her on the couch, crying, and once in the throes of night sweats from the fear clawing at her. She was fast retreating back into the shell she had resided within when they first met at the cabin. He was finding that remaining emotionally distant became more difficult with each passing day, and tempting the fates by sleeping in the same bed with her was beyond what he could do at this time and stay sane. He would comfort and hastily retreat to his own room, where he spent the night mimicking her sleepless energy.
Jenna had let him know she was going to be in town over the weekend to offer support and just check in. Because of her work with domestic violence, she had a good feel for what might happen and a great head on her shoulder for spit balling ideas. He hadn’t told Emily, but he had asked his sister to watch the twins so that he could take Emily out to dinner. Not a date, he had to remind himself. Just two adults having a good meal and trying not to worry about the future, he told himself. He had repeated it until he almost believed it. Fun didn’t appear to be something Emily had ever known in her life, and he wanted her to have something to smile about over the coming week—something to hold onto should the outcome of the hearing be worse than they hoped for.
Emily had worked a first shift rotation today and then taken the twins to an indoor inflatable park to work out some of the wiggles, as she called it. Based on calls from her and Jenna both in the last five minutes, they would both arrive at the house about the same time. Running through how he was going to work the invite in his head, he drove on auto pilot, letting his brain and nerves try to calm each other.
Jenna’s car was already there when he pulled in the drive, and Emily pulled in behind him as he was exiting his own vehicle. He automatically walked over to get Sarah out, as Emily was working on Sam.
“It’s so good to see you,” he heard Emily emphatically say to his sister as he looked up in time to see them embracing, and he wished, not for the first time, that she would get that comfortable with him.
“And you,” Jenna said with a big smile. As she turned from Emily, who walked up the rest of the drive to deposit a wiggling Sam on the porch, his sister turned to him. “Hey, you,” she said with open arms. Morgan on the hip opposite the one Sarah occupied in his arms, they made a big hug huddle.
Sarah scooted down as they continued up the drive.
“So, you ask her yet?” his sister whispered, eyes on Emily, who was watching them advance.
“Nope, figured you could help me convince her,” he said under his breath.
“So where are we going on this date,” she asked in a low tone as she elbowed him suggestively.
“It’s not a date,” he said with force, turning to stop her. “She will absolutely say ‘no’ if it’s a date. It’s just two friends having fun and trying to forget about everything for one night.”
Jenna grinned up at him. “Wow ... you’re completely gone over her, aren’t you?” she whispered.
He gave her a warning glare.
“I’m just so excited,” she squeezed him again and started toward the porch. “Hey, Emily, Travis has something to ask you,” she said gaily, as she shooed Sarah and Sam ahead of her into the house.
Travis could have strangled her. Instead, he focused on the flustered beauty in front of him.
“What’s up?” Emily asked, making direct eye contact.
“I was just thinking,” he bowed his head and put his hands in his pockets to hide the shaking. “I thought maybe we could go out tonight ... get some dinner ... relax ... you know.”
When she didn’t immediately respond, he looked up and tried to read her reaction.
“I hate to leave the twins with Jenna, she just got here. Why don’t you see if she—”
“Emily,” he offered. “I would really like you to accept. Come on ... I was thinking pizza, beer and bowling nothing fancy.”
He saw her bite her lip, and then she smiled up at him shyly.
“Okay. I ... that would be nice.”
“Really? All right then.”
“Yeah, sounds like fun,” she said as a becoming pink colored her cheeks.
“Great. About seven okay? That way we can feed the kids and get them settled.”
“Kay,” she said and turned to walk into the house.
He gave himself a minute to gather his wits. He had been prepared to fight her objections. That had gone so much easier than he had expected, and his happiness spread. Taking his hands out of his pockets, he rubbed them down his pant legs, squared his shoulders, and followed her steps into the house.
***
EMILY STEPPED ONTO the shiny floor and carefully lined up the ball. The first game of bowling necessitated Travis teaching her the rules and how to throw a ball down the alley. Unfortunately, it also saw her losing to him by more than fifty points, and she was on a mission to improve.
“You want a pizza or something else?” Travis asked from behind her.
She turned, “What else do they have?”
“Let’s go see. I need to replenish my energy so I can whoop you again,” Travis teased.
“Yeah right. I got this,” she said giving him a cheeky stare. She couldn’t believe how brave she was getting with him, but he made her more confident every day. He had not once raised his voice, even when she occasionally put forward an opinion that didn’t match his. And he listened when she had new ideas. She had mentioned just such an idea earlier, about a new raw wood line that would allow her to do children’s workshops and work with kids putting small wood projects together. Hopefully it would help grow his business and branch out to new clientele.
Travis had been distracted and noncommittal at first, but she had pushed ahead, and as she laid out her idea, he became more interested. They agreed that if she was still there in April, they were going to run a workshop one weekend as a trial to see how much interest it generated. She felt ten feet tall. It was the first idea she could remember getting to work on that was all hers. He was the kind of man a woman could easily love, if things had been different, her voice of reason reminded. He was respectful, loved his family, and nothing rattled him. That and the fact that he was the most handsome man she had ever met made him a real threat to her peace of mind. Probably why God was punishing her, making her go back to her life in Middleton, she thought. You don’t deserve that kind of happiness, she chastised herself silently.
She decided it was just as well she would be going back to Middleton soon. Much longer, and she wasn’t sure she would be able to leave Travis. Spending any alone time with him was getting difficult because she was finding her hormones didn’t listen to reason. That was a new sensation for her. She had never known how it felt to be attracted to someone, and it was messing with her equilibrium.
She shook her head, trying to concentrate on the words written on the menu in front of her and not the warmth of the big man standing next to her.
“See anything you want?” he asked in her ear in a tone that she was certain romance writers would deem husky and sensual.
“Um ... yeah ... cheese fries,” she said trying to enunciate around the lump forming in her throat.
“Really? Cheese Fries?” he laughed.
“Sure ... and what about—” He had bent over and was leaning on the counter, bringing his face closer to hers than was comfortable for her peace of mind. She wondered if that five o’clock shadow would feel scratchy if he kissed her.
“Do I have something on my face?” he asked, never taking his eyes from hers.
“No,” she said turning around as fast as her neck could swivel.
“And a Diet Coke, right?” he asked.
“Yeah, that’s ... yes, thank you.” she said, impressed that he even thought about that extra detail and knew her go-to drink.
Walking back to their lane, she gave herself a pep talk about keeping things in perspective.
“You ready to do this?” Travis said, catching her unaware.
“What?” she turned to him.
“Bowling? My beating you in round two?” he gave her a quizzical look.
“Keep dreaming,” she said, grabbing the bowling ball. Remembering all his tips, she pulled the ball back. Walked forward and smoothly brought it forward and released. Right up the middle. Strike!
“Holy Cow,” he said under his breath.
“Take that,” she said, giggling and digging her forefingers into his side as he passed.
“Challenge accepted,” he said down to her with a smirk.
She watched him as he walked up cocky as a rooster and easily swung for a strike. Darn, she thought, surprising herself at how competitive she was feeling. And how much fun I’m having, she thought as she caught his eyes boring into her. Breaking eye contact, she walked forward at a clipped pace trying to hide her nervousness. She was a grown woman with two children. Why this man made her feel fifteen and bubbly again she didn’t know, but she absolutely needed to keep her wits about her and not do anything to embarrass herself. Grabbing the ball, she put all of her energies into the next strike, and the one after that.
***
TRAVIS COULDN’T SHUT his thoughts off, no matter how Emily distracted him or he tried to change the station in his head. The ride home had him engrossed in weighing the pros and cons of kissing her again. The kiss at Christmas had left an indelible mark on his memory, and the little voice in his head was urging a repeat performance. But Emily hadn’t maintained eye contact, and she never escalated the touches past the casual. He wondered if she felt even a fraction toward him what he had come to feel for her.
“Hey, Em,” he decided to break the ice.
“Yeah,” she turned toward him.
“I had a great time tonight.”
“So did I—in fact I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun,” she gushed.
“Doesn’t hurt anything that you beat me decidedly that last game?”
“Definitely doesn’t hurt at all,” he could hear the grin even in the darkness.
“You know I want you to stay, right.”
Silence. He waited a few moments. Nothing.
“Hey,” he said reaching out. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that out of the clear blue. I just don’t want you guessing where I am at in this situation.”
“We can’t live with you forever.”
“Why not?”
“Be-Because ... we just can’t ... you know that. I appreciate all that you have done for me ... more than you will ever know. Did you ever think we would be there when you walked into that cabin back in December and discovered three squatters?”
“No. Definitely not. I had become so accustomed to being alone and angry at the world. I had shut down and closed everyone out. You did something for me no one else was able to do. You and the twins made me realize what I was missing ... so I owe you also.”
“I guess we are even,” she said as he pulled up into the driveway and parked.
“Emily, when you think about me ... do you consider me a friend ... or something else?”
“I ... don’t think ... I understand,” she stuttered.
“Okay, let me just make this clear. Since Ellen I hadn’t looked at another woman, and I was convinced I was going to grow old alone. But while I still love her for all those memories we made, when I’m with you—well, I see potential for what my life might still be.”
“Hmmm.” In the dark of the truck he saw her turn and look out the window.
“I love my children more than anything,” she started and stopped. “I am willing to work hard and put up with anything I have to in order to ensure they have a better life than I had. You are like that ... I turn to a puddle ... whenever you walk in ... you make me want things I know I can’t have.”
Travis felt the tug in the region of his heart, this thing being mutual would both complicate and simplify.
“Emily you can have anything you want out of this life—”
She interrupted, “I can’t. You make me lose focus, and the last time I did that ... things went bad. It’s better if I just try and do the right thing for my kids and wait and see what the judge has to say.” She had her hand on the door knob, and he heard her click the handle to let herself out.
Before he open his own door to follow her, she turned. Putting her hand up on his cheek, she moved her thumb in a slight circle.
“You are amazing and make me feel so safe. I’m afraid I won’t ever be able to love anyone again after you ... but right now this just can’t happen,” she said in one rush of breath just as she leaned over and slanted her lips over his.
Just as he registered the kiss and leaned in for more, she broke contact. She pulled back and jumped out of the cab, making tracks for the house. He sat for a second taking everything in. He felt the adrenaline coursing through his veins and needed to give it a second to subside. Hope gave him wings; somewhere down the road, things might just come full circle, and they would find a way. He smiled to himself—he was a patient man, and now he had validation those feelings weren’t all in his head. He could wait it out. He jumped down from the truck and was unable to wipe the smile from his face as he encountered his sister on the porch.
