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My head was still spinning from yesterday’s revelations. My heart was already aching.
I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of the week knowing Jax was here—running the risk of seeing him again, not being able to reach out and touch him.
My one night stand was an Olympic Judge. If it was discovered that we had slept together... Jax and I both understood the ramifications. Erica wouldn’t just be disqualified from the Olympic team—she’d be banned for life.
I was so relieved that she hadn’t seen Jax that morning, in the cabin; to think I’d wanted her to! I was such a fool. I’d wanted to make her jealous over the gorgeous man I’d spent the night with. Instead, I might have ruined her career.
It wasn’t like I’d been meaning to continue things anyway, right? It had been a one night stand, nothing more. It was different, though, knowing he wasn’t leaving. And when that one night had been so good.
I’d been making sacrifices for my sister for so long now that it was second nature to me. I’d told Jax that I couldn’t see him again, and he’d reluctantly agreed.
***
Erica and the other skiers would be competing to see who could meet the qualifying standards for the Olympic team today. The top two dozen skiers would advance to the next round; eventually, just a half dozen skiers would be picked for the team, along with two alternates.
I knew that Erica would never settle for being just an alternate, and I said every prayer I knew that she would have a good run today. Her event would be coming up shortly.
This was just the preliminaries, and Erica was a skilled skier. She should be fine. It was the two trials after this that really worried me; and how well she might do once the pool had been narrowed.
A couple of skiers had finished their runs and were chatting near where I stood. They noticed me popping a homemade protein ball in my mouth—I’d gorged on cheeseburgers and fries last night, and was now trying to be good—and walked toward me.
“Hey, aren’t you Erica’s sister?” one of the skiers asked.
I turned and saw a tall, blonde man smiling at me. I nodded, wiping my fingers and reaching out a hand. “Yes, I’m Libby.”
“What are you eating, if you don’t mind my asking? I heard that you do all of her cooking.”
I smiled, pleasantly surprised that Erica had been talking about me. “These things? Just protein balls. I’m trying out a new recipe.” I held out the bag. “Would you like one? They’re pretty good!”
“Ooh, yes please!” the other skier said. She was shorter, with a strand of flaming red hair peeking out beneath her cap. “What’s in them?” she asked, pulling out one for herself and her friend.
“Oats, peanut butter, raw honey, ground flaxseed. A little coconut oil. Chia seeds. And a handful of chocolate chips.”
She bit down into one, and her eyes immediately widened. “These. Are. Delicious!” she said, eyes twinkling with pleasure. “I wish I had somebody to make stuff like that for me!”
The male skier nodded in agreement. “If I do well today, I’ll tell everybody that I owe it all to you.” They thanked me, and then skied off, leaving me warm in spite of the cold. Why couldn’t Erica be half as appreciative as two random strangers?
Standing at the bottom of the slopes, waiting for Erica, soon got me thinking of Jax. Would I ever be able to see snow again, without associating it with what he’d done to me in the hot tub? No matter how hard I tried to wipe the memory from my mind, I kept returning to it with a smile.
The snow had been cold against my nipples. I remembered his mouth sucking the pain away, when it got too much. It had been unlike anything I’d experienced before.
My nipples were already hard at the memory; I shifted as I stood in the snow at the bottom of the slope. How could I make myself forget something that had felt that good?
Or the way he’d made me feel, emotionally? I’d felt wanted and desired, for the first time ever. He’d transformed me into a different person—confident, and sexy. I remembered watching him as I touched myself—seeing the desire in his eyes. And it wasn’t just in his eyes, either; he’d been hard, at attention just for me. How could I forget all of that? And how could I not want to experience it again?
He was rich, yes. So wealthy he owned this entire mountain, and others like it all around the world. A billionaire many times over. But that hadn’t mattered when we were together. I hadn’t even known it then. At the shopping center, when he’d picked up my groceries, and walked me to my car—all that had mattered was that he was handsome, and kind. And then at the bar, and later in the hot tub, I’d discovered other things that mattered too—he could be tender and gentle, when he wanted to be. But also assertive and commanding, when the situation required. He’d taught me so many things, and now that I knew he wasn’t leaving, I found myself wanting him to teach me so many more.
And I’d given him up.
I hated myself for doing it, though I understood why it needed to be done. This was Erica’s shot at the big time. She’d been working her whole life toward this goal—more than that, the entire family had been working toward it. I just needed to suck it up and throw myself on my sword. She was my sister. I wanted her to be happy.
A little part of me wondered though—if the tables were turned, would Erica do the same for me?