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Now that I knew of his presence on the slopes, I couldn’t stop my eyes from searching for him. I found him sooner, rather than later—his existence a magnet, drawing me in. His tanned skin and beautiful green eyes stood out against the white knit hat he wore. The snow falling between us across the crowded finish line made his breath puff in brief bursts of steam.
He had three comely ski bunnies around him. They were slim in all the right places, and curvy in the right places too—fur collars accented slender necks, perfect breasts accented narrow waists. I looked down at myself and, as always, felt inferior.
It doesn’t matter, I reminded myself. You already told him that nothing could happen between the two of you. So why did my heart hurt? Why did it feel like I was being squeezed from the inside?
I should be used to this by now. I wasn’t meant for love or happiness.
It was like he heard me, just as he’d sensed me in the middle of the crowd at the bar. He turned his head, and his eyes met mine across the finish line. My breath caught in my throat. He may as well have shocked me, so strong was my reaction.
I smiled, and he smiled in return. But that was it; one of his “friends” said something that made him laugh, and he turned his attention back to her. I was forgotten. It was your own choice, that voice of reason reminded me.
Yes, it was my choice. I turned my eyes back to the skiers and resolved to forget all about him. It was only the memories that hurt.
***
Erica did brilliantly, as expected. She was one of the favorites; from all accounts practically assured a spot on the team. Of course, all of that could change in the blink of an eye—all it took was one simple miscalculation on the slope. It wasn’t until she crossed the finish line that I released the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.
After the competition, I headed to the Lodge to pick up a binder with additional information I’d been told that Erica needed. When I asked at the front desk, they didn’t have any such information on file. When I turned around, I found Jax standing behind me.
“Hello there.” He was alone, holding his wool knit cap in one hand.
My eyes narrowed. “Stalker,” I muttered. “I should have known it would be you.”
He laughed in reply. “I guess that’s only fair. I did accuse you of that yesterday.” Then his smile fell. “I wanted to see you. After what happened... we need to talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” I said, glancing at the woman behind the counter and then moving away. “We got swept up in the moment, that’s all.”
He shook his head. “You know it was more than that.” He indicated a sofa in the foyer. “Please?”
I hesitated, and then walked to the chair and sat down.
“Congrats to your sister,” Jax said, by way of opening. “She did a great job today.”
“She’s worked hard for this. She deserves it.”
“I’m betting that your entire family deserves it,” he said. “I know enough about this process to know that no athlete goes it alone.”
I shook my head, fed up with the small talk. “Let’s just say what we’re both thinking okay? It was one night. A fantastic night,” I said, eyebrows rising, “but a one night stand nonetheless. I thought you were passing through town. You thought the same.”
I looked him in the eyes. “At the end of the day, us both staying doesn’t change anything—in fact, it only makes the original intention stronger. We can’t be together—my sister’s career is too important for that to happen.”
I forced a smile that I didn’t feel inside. “I guess what I’m saying is that I appreciate your concern, but I’m okay. You don’t have to feel bad about having me around but not wanting to hook up. In fact, you’ve got the perfect excuse.”
He looked at me, then frowned. “Is that what you think?” he asked. “That I met you here just to make myself feel better?” He shook his head. “I guess I did, but not in the way that you think.”
He reached across and took my hand. “I’ve never known anybody like you,” he said softly. “I’ve never been happier than I was when I heard that you were staying.”
I blushed, as it seems I so often did when I was anywhere near him. And I didn’t let go of his hand. The night we’d spent together—it was impossible to deny the flood of images that invaded my brain.
From the look on his face, he remembered it too. A smile played at the corners of his mouth. “So, how are you liking... the snow up here?”
I couldn’t help grinning in spite of myself. I looked down. “It’s pretty,” I finally managed. “I like the way it feels. You know, when it hits my skin.” I looked up at him and saw his smile widen.
For a moment, neither of us spoke. And then he leaned back, picking up a random tourist magazine to flip idly through it.
“So,” he said, looking at me over the top of it. “What have you been up to?”
I had to laugh; it had only been a day and a half since we’d been together. “Just relaxing. You know... soaking in the hot tub. It’s so good it should be a crime.” I looked at him curiously. “Do you have a hot tub at your house? Not... that I want to know for any particular reason, of course.”
An eyebrow rose. “I don’t, actually. I have a whirlpool tub in my master suite, but nothing beats a hot tub for... relaxing.”
I nodded solemnly, trying and then failing not to smile. It’s just harmless flirtation, the non-rational part of my brain insisted. But the rest of me wasn’t so sure.
My hand was resting on the sofa. Jax let his fingers graze mine as he flipped through the pages of his magazine. He might as well have put his hand between my legs—because that’s where I felt the tingle. What was it about this man that I couldn’t get enough of? How could he be having this effect on me, after only one night?
“So besides stalking me, what else have you been up to?” I asked eventually.
He smiled again, before shrugging. “I judged the competition today, and I’ll judge again tomorrow—it’s pretty much a dream job for a ski enthusiast.”
“So that’s why you’re holding the competition here?” I asked.
He nodded.
“I can’t even imagine waking up one morning and saying, ‘Wow, I think I’ll host a ski competition at my ski resort. On my mountain.” But I smiled when I said it; I wasn’t trying to be mean.
“And I can’t imagine having a talent like yours, being able to bake like you can, or looking after your sister with the skill that you do. That takes kindness... and self-sacrifice.”
He looked at me curiously. “What happens after Erica competes? What if she goes to the games, even wins—what happens to you?” His hand moved to cover mine. It felt warm, and reassuring.
“I really don’t know,” I said, forcing myself to focus on his question. . How was I ever going to stay away from him? This was going to be impossible. “I guess I’m taking it one day at a time right now.”
“You need to start thinking about your own dreams, not your sister’s. You need to start doing things for yourself.”
Several beautiful girls walk by in expensive ski outfits. “Why do you care so much, anyway?” I asked suddenly.
He looked at me strangely. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because I’m nobody.”
“That’s not true,” he said, flatly. I knew he meant it, even if I didn’t believe it myself.
“Listen, buddy,” I said, deciding that sleeping together gave me the right to be blunt. “I saw the girls you were standing with today. They were gorgeous; in fact, now that I think about it, I remember seeing one of them on a magazine cover last month.”
“So? What difference does that make?”
“Well... I guess I’m wondering why I matter so much to you, when you know so many fabulous women who run in the circles you run in. What am I? Your charity case this month?”
It was his turn to look as though his feelings had been hurt. “That’s unfair, to me and to you,” he told me. “Unfair to me because it implies that I only care about wealthy women with something to offer in the way of material things. You’re making me out to be some shallow playboy.”
“And me? How is it unfair to me?”
He sighed. “It’s unfair to you because it underestimates you. Is that what you always do? Give yourself zero credit? Maybe now I’m starting to understand why you let people like your sister take advantage!”
I started to stand, ready to leave, but he took my wrist to stop me. A thrill ran through me at his forcefulness.
“Sit,” he commanded.
I looked down at him, and what I saw in his eyes made me soften. I sat back down.
“You’re beautiful; I wasn’t just trying to get you into bed when I told you that. And those girls on the slopes mean nothing to me. They know who I am, and I know who they are—money hungry airheads who I have no interest in befriending, let alone sleeping with.” His voice softened. “Once I saw you—they might just as well have not existed.”
“Jax...” I murmured, loving the words that were coming from his mouth, but hating them at the same time.
“I know, I know,” he said with a frown. “I shouldn’t say things like that. But I can’t help it.”
I looked around the lobby; there were dozens of women there, and all of them would suit Stephen Petersen better. They had a look of wealth, and health, and to my eyes they were all gorgeous. “Why not one of them?” I asked. “Why me? I mean, I’ve been watching the people coming and going in this place, and almost every woman who’s walked by has made eyes at you. You could have your pick.”
He waved me off. “Please,” he said, “You’re being ridiculous.”
“Ridiculous?” My eyes narrowed. “I’ll show you how ridiculous I’m being. I bet if we go stand by the doors, right now, the next girl who walks in tries to flirt with you.”
“You bet, huh?” he asked. I saw a spark in his eyes. “Okay, I’ll make that bet. What are you putting up?”
I thought about it. “I don’t know; you decide.” Almost as soon as I said it, I regretted it. I could only imagine what he’d come up with.
“Hmmm, trusting,” he said, one eyebrow raised. It was uncanny how he seemed to read my mind. “Okay, if I win, you have to use those wonderful cooking skills of yours to make me dinner.”
That was much more fair, and less sexual, than I’d thought he’d come up with. A little part of me was almost disappointed. “I can live with that, especially since I know I’ll win,” I said.
“Did I forget to mention you had to cook it naked?” he said with a grin.
I gave him a look. “Nice try buster.” I thought about my side of the wager. “Okay then, if I win— which I will—you have to cook me dinner.”
“Do I have to be naked?” he asked with a smile.
I found myself grinning back. “Why do I get the feeling you want to be?” I hesitated, but then shook my head firmly. “I think we both know where that would end up. We still have my sister to think of—let’s not start anything we can’t finish.”
He looked disappointed, but then shrugged. “Better than not seeing you at all. And I get you cooking me dinner.” He extended a hand for me to shake, and I took it.
“You forget one thing,” I said, my eyes roving over his handsome frame. “You’re going to lose.”
We stood up and walked over to the doors, waiting beside them to see who would win the bet.
“Maybe we shouldn’t stand close to each other,” I said, “or else they’ll think we’re together. Know what I mean?”
He nodded, and I sat in a chair not far from him. We looked like two people who just happened to be in the same place at the same time.
The doors opened, and in walked a group of male skiers; one of them, I noticed, cast an appreciative eye in Jax’s direction. Jax glanced at me, a smirk on his face. I stuck my tongue out. “I should have specified that it had to be a girl,” I admitted sullenly. He stifled a laugh.
Then a group of children came in; they couldn’t have been older than 9 or 10. He glanced at me again, the picture of innocence. “You didn’t say they had to be an adult, you know,” he teased.
I stuck my tongue out. “It was implied, and you know it. Wait and see,” I said. “Patience is a virtue.”
Finally, the doors opened and I caught my breath. A Nordic beauty, all legs and blonde hair, walked through the door. I waited, barely breathing, as she approached. “Look interested,” I instructed out of the corner of my mouth.”
“You didn’t say I had to look interested,” he retorted out of the corner of his own mouth. “No making up new rules, now.”
The bombshell glanced over at us... and then changed direction, veering toward Jax. “Stephen!” His shoulders slumped. “I was so hoping I’d find you here.”
“It’s Kati isn’t it? We met the other day on the slopes.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“That’s right.” She looked around, then unzipped her ski jacket. “It sure is kinda hot indoors, isn’t it?” She had magnificent cleavage.
“What can I do for you, Kati?” Jax asked politely.
She took a deep breath. The jacket stretched across her chest and I swear it unzipped lower all on its own. “Well, the other day, I think I might have hurt my leg. With you being such a good skier and all, I was wondering if you could have a look at it for me?”
Jax frowned. “I’m not sure that would be appropriate.”
She twirled a blonde curl. “You’re right, of course. It’s pretty high up. Perhaps later, in the privacy of your room?” She left the question hanging.
Jax looked to me, deflating as though stuck with a pin. I did a little fist pump. I had him, and we both knew it.
“I think perhaps a doctor would be a more suitable option,” he muttered. He drew a deep breath. “If you wait here, I’ll be happy to organize one.”
I stood and walked toward the couple. “Mr Petersen?” I said sweetly as he stood. “Sorry to interrupt. Just passing on a message—your dinner date said they could be picked up anytime from five tonight.” Then I looked to the ski bunny’s leg. “That looks bad; you should really get someone to give that a rub!”