Role playing

TEACHER: All right, class, today we’re going to be learning about the political landscape that led to the Civil War. Let’s start with a little role-playing exercise. First we need someone to play the part of a Southern slave owner. Okay, let’s say … Seymour.

SEYMOUR: What?

TEACHER: Great. Now we need someone to play a Northern abolitionist. Raise your hand if you want to volunteer. Okay – I guess that’s everybody else. Let’s begin.

SOPHIE: How many innocent people must die to satisfy your greed, Seymour?

KAREN: You’re a monster, Seymour. (crying) A monster.

SEYMOUR: What’s happening? I’m against slavery – I swear!

TEACHER: I don’t think that’s something a slave owner would say, Seymour. Remember, you’re being graded on this.

SEYMOUR: Um … then, I guess … slavery … is good?

TEACHER: Of all the villains in the history of this nation, you, Seymour, are by far the most terrifying. I can’t even look you in the face. You literally make my skin crawl.

SEYMOUR: I thought you said it was a role-playing exercise?

TEACHER: I’m also doing the exercise. I’m an abolitionist.