Crayola Co.

– Thanks for coming, Samuel.

– No problem, boss. I’ll have those new colour names on your desk by five.

– That’s fine. Listen, Sam … have you been having problems at home?

– Well, actually, yeah. How did you know? Who told you?

– Well … to be honest, I could sort of tell by the quality of your work.

– But I’ve been writing ten crayon titles a day!

– I know, but some of these colours … Sad Blue … Sad Green … Horrible Red … Sad Red … Really Sad Blue … Divorce Sienna … Divorce Brown … Divorce Green … Divorce Pink … It’s just … a little repetitive, you know?

– Well, all the colours have been more or less the same lately. What can I say? When it comes to crayon naming, you have to go with your first instinct. Like, look at this new shade of orange. What pops into your mind?

– I don’t know … sunshine?

– Well, yeah. Or divorce. I would say Divorce Orange. Except there already is a Divorce Orange. So then … I guess, no name. Just a nameless colour.

– I think maybe you need a vacation.

– Really?

– Look, to be honest, last month’s colours were a little off too. Adultery Red … Ultimatum Pink … Lawyers Green … Settlement Blue … Countersettlement Light Blue … Maybe you need to take some time away from the office. You know, to resolve the crisis in your marriage?

– Look, boss. No offense, but I’m just not buying all this psychobabble. I mean, Craig came up with Ladybug Red today. That doesn’t mean he has a bug problem at home or whatever.

– Okay. But what about your colours from two months ago? Temptation Red? Considering Adultery Blue? Considering Adultery Yellow?

– What about them?

– I think you should take the rest of the day off.

– Okay, you’re the boss. I guess I’ll see you divorce.

– Do you mean … “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

– That’s what I said.