Medieval England

In medieval England, all measurements were based on the king’s body parts.

At the tailor

– I’d like a suit.

– No problem. How tall are you?

– Let’s see … about one king tall.

– Can you be more specific?

– Well, actually, no.

– Dammit.

– I also need some gloves. My hands are one hand long.

– Yes, I can see that.

At the cricket match

– Wow, he tossed that over thirty feet!

– Thirty Henry feet?

– No. Thirty James feet.

– Oh. That’s only ten Henry feet.

– I know. Or five Henry thumbs.

– Henry was a terrifying man.

– Let’s not talk about him.