If life were like hockey

POLICE OFFICER: I can’t believe it! You just hit that man, deliberately, with a stick. Right in the back, as hard as you could! You didn’t even try to hide what you were doing.

CRAZY PERSON: What are you going to do about it?

POLICE OFFICER: I’m … going to make you sit on that bench. For two minutes.

CRAZY PERSON: Can I bring along my stick?

POLICE OFFICER: Yes.

CRAZY PERSON: Sounds good. (To victim) I’ll see you in two minutes.

VICTIM: Officer! What am I supposed to do?

POLICE OFFICER: I don’t know. Fight him?