The ride back to Beersheba

Then Abraham tied Isaac up and laid him on the altar over the wood. And Abraham took the knife and lifted it up to kill his son as a sacrifice to the LORD. At that moment the angel of the LORD shouted to him from heaven, “Abraham! Lay down the knife.” Then they returned to Beersheba.

– GENESIS 22

How about some ice cream, Isaac? No? Are you sure? I’ll tell you what, I’ll get us some ice cream. Want some ice cream? I’ll get us some ice cream.

Wow, there is nothing like camping! Cooking your own lamb, building your own pyre … and no women! Just a couple of guys in the woods, lighting fires, doing stuff, and keeping it between themselves! Speaking of which, did you ever notice how your mother sometimes gets ideas? I mean, she raised you and I love her, but she’s a very nervous person. All I’m saying is sometimes it’s all right not to tell her about certain things. Like guy things.

Wow, I just noticed that you have huge muscles! You’re really getting strong! When did you get so big and strong? Soon you’ll be a real strong guy!

Let me explain something to you. Sometimes, grown-ups have to do grown-up stuff that children don’t understand. I think there’s an ice cream place coming up. Like, what happened on top of the mountain? Do you remember? Of course you … of course. Anyway, that was a thing for grown-ups.

How about some Rocky Road? Chocolate? I’d get you some strawberry, but hey, your name’s Isaac, not Isaac-Marie – am I right? Ha! Seriously, though, if you want strawberry I’ll get it for you. I’ll get you whatever you want.

So, anyway, let’s rehearse. I’ll be your mother. “Isaac, how was your trip to the mountain?” Okay, then you would say something like “Pretty normal.” That’s not too hard, right?

We’re almost home. Listen, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but your mother is very sick. She’s sick, Isaac. And the slightest shock might kill her. Hey, there she is, waving at us! Hi, Sarah, we’re back! Put a couple lambs on the spit – you’ve got a couple hungry lumberjacks on your hands! Ha, ha! She’s very ill, Isaac. Very ill. Wow! … Camping.