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Emmy
During lunch, Charlie starts talking about a new TV show, which leads to a conversation about what show is our all time favorite.
Mine is Friends, of course.
I find myself laughing and smiling more than I have in a very long time. I can see these two becoming my best friends. I know I shouldn't open myself up so easily, but they are the girls I'm going to be living with for the next two years.
Building a friendship with them would only be a good thing, right?
A chair scraping against the floor catches my attention and I follow the sound to see what's going on.
It’s Oliver.
He’s at a table on the opposite side of the room. He’s not alone though, two guys are on either side of him. He’s leaning over the table with the guy on his right’s shirt fisted in his hand. Their faces are an inch apart as Oliver says something to him, looking really pissed.
I look at the guy Oliver’s pissed at. He’s pretty hot. Shaggy blonde hair covers one of his eyes and I see a black ear gauge poking out through the side of his hair. A piercing sits under each side of his bottom lip. Snake bites are so hot.
He’s definitely got a sexy bad boy vibe going on.
The other guy is just as sexy. His messy copper hair is pushed back away from his face. He has a piercing in his right eyebrow that's mostly hidden by the thick black frame of his glasses. Tattoos cover his neck and lead all the way down his arms. His black band tee fits snuggly across his chest, showing that he clearly works out.
There's a book sitting on the table in front of him. I wonder what he’s reading? There’s something about him that seems to draw me in.
“I wonder what's got Mr. Dark and Broody’s panties in a twist?” Charlie comments next to me. I turn back and face her. “Get it? Twist? His name is Oliver. Like Oliver Twist?” she jokes.
Felicity and I both can't help but smile at her in amusement as we both raise a brow at her very corny joke.
“What? It’s funny!” she says, sounding offended that no one’s laughing. “Well, I thought it was,” she huffs, all cute like, as she crosses her arms.
Her lower lip pokes out in a cute pout. I can't help but chuckle lightly at how adorable she is.
“Sure it was,” Felicity mocks and tosses one of her fries at Charlie.
She catches it and takes a bite. “Thanks!” she says with a bright smile as she returns to her cheery self.
“So, are you friends with those guys?” I ask as I nod my head over in their direction.
Felicity lets out a humorless laugh. “Ahh, no. They're not really friends with anyone but each other. I do see them talk to other people but it's mostly just the three of them. Talon, the one with the shaggy blonde hair, he’s the school's resident man whore. I'm pretty sure he's fucked every girl here in one way or another. Me not included on that list. As hot as he is, I don't need an STD.”
I look over to Charlie as if to ask if she’s on that list.
“Nope, don't look at me like that. I don't roll that way. I'm very much into all the lady bits. And, even if I wasn't, my answer would be the same as Lissy’s.”
Her words spark excitement within me. Knowing she likes girls gives me a little more hope that we could be more than just friends.
“What about the redhead?” I ask, wanting to know his story.
“That’s Ben. He doesn't really interact with anyone but Oliver and Talon. I've never seen him with a girl, though many have tried. Because I mean, look at him with his sexy bad boy geek vibe,” Felicity says as she answers my question.
The way she talks about him bugs me a little.
“And the guy who looks like he’s pissed off at the world is...”
“Oliver,” I state, cutting off Felicity.
“Yeah, I also haven't seen him with any girls. A few have tried but they got rejected pretty harshly, so no one else bothered,” Felicity says. “Rumor has it he's really hung up on some girl back home.”
“And that he’s so in love with her, nothing can heal his broken heart,” Charlie adds, swooning. “How romantic is that? To love someone that much that no other girl can compare?”
The more she talks, the more pissed off I get. Not at her, but at the things she’s saying because they're all lies.
“Bullshit,” I mutter to myself as I try to calm myself down.
“What’s wrong?” Charlie asks, confused by my sudden change in mood.
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. “I'm pissed off that anyone can think that any of that is true because I know for a fact it’s all bullshit and lies.”
Felicity looks at me confused now too. “How would you know that?” she asks.
“Because I've known Oliver Price pretty much my whole life. We grew up in the same trailer park. We were best friends. Seeing how I'm pretty sure I was the only girl in his life and we were always together, I don't see when he'd have time to have a relationship with anyone else. So the girl in that rumor would have to be me. And I can tell you that I in no way broke his heart. He’s the one who ripped my heart out and tossed it in the trash like I was nothing.” I try not to think about the last few months before he left, or how he could have met another girl while he was distancing himself from me.
Both girls are looking at me with horrified looks on their faces. “What did he do?” Charlie whispers.
I shake my head. “I don't wanna talk about it. Today has been an overwhelming day with finding out he goes to school here and seeing him again for the first time in three years since he destroyed me.”
Charlie gives me a sad understanding smile. “Okay, but keep in mind that you can always talk to us, whenever you're ready,” she says, giving me a small side hug.
I'm grateful for her kindness. I can tell that she means it.
Felicity takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. “We're here to listen anytime.”
“Thanks,” I say, giving them a small smile that doesn’t reach my eyes.
Oliver walks past me. The need to look at him is strong, so I do.
When I meet his eyes, they look so sad, lonely, and riddled with guilt. For a short moment, I feel a bit of longing, but then I remember what I just told the girls and it quickly turns to disgust and distaste.
Looking away quickly, I hold in my tears, refusing to let him see them fall.
Charlie watches him leave and once he’s out the door, she turns back to us. “Sooooo,” she drags on. “Let’s talk about something less depressing. Like, what did you do that got you sent here?” she asks me casually.
“CHARLIE!” Felicity scolds. “You can't just ask people shit like that!”
Charlie shrugs her shoulders like it’s no big deal. “What? Inquiring minds want to know, so spill!” she says to me and leans in all excited, like I'm about to give her the best gossip of the year.
“Did you tag a building or beat someone up? OH! Did you steal a cop car? I always wanted to ride in the front instead of the back," she looks away with a dreamy look in her eyes.
I can't help but laugh at her bubbly and quirky ways. “You sure aren't shy, are you?” I smile at her, showing her I’m not upset about what she is asking.
“Nope,” she says with a grin. “I'm more of a tell it like it is kind of person,” she beams at me. “So spill, woman!” she demands with a laugh.
"It's kind of a long story," I say apologetically.
"We don't mind that at all," Charlie replies encouragingly and Felicity nods. They both watch me with excitement, eager for every detail about my life.
“Well, my mom is a pretty shitty person. She’s never really been a mother. Half the time she’s too drunk or high to remember who I am. I’ve been in and out of the same foster home for the past three years. As much as I wish the judge would have just kept me with my foster family, they always sent me back to my mom when she pretended she wanted to get clean.
“One day my mom was freaking out at me because I used the last of her cash to buy some ramen noodles. She called me a selfish bitch and kicked me out for the day. God forbid I eat!” I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
“Jim, my neighbor, saw the whole thing. He was a tattoo artist at a shop down the street. He asked if I wanted to tag along to work with him for the day, and when I said yes, I got to see him do a few tattoos. It was one of the best days I had in a long time, and I really enjoyed watching him create art on people's bodies. He kept inviting me back.
“After a while, it just became my new place to hang out. When I turned 16, they offered me a job cleaning up around the place, answering phones, and stuff. But when I turned 17, they started to lose business for a while and couldn't pay me.
“At the time I was living with my foster family, so I wasn't in desperate need of money. So I made them a deal. For every day's work, they would give me an hour of tattoo time. I wasn’t of age for legal consent, so they said that as long as I kept to myself where I got the tattoos, they would agree. I worked under the table, so there wasn’t any paperwork to link the tattoos to them anyway. We lived in a shady part of town, so it was not surprising that they would agree.”
Charlie holds up her hands to stop me from talking. “Wait! You have tattoos?” she asks hopefully.
I take off my jacket and show them my arms that are covered in tattoos. “I have more on my ribs and legs. I try not to get them anywhere I can't admire the artwork.”
Charlie lets out a sexy little moan that has me looking at her with surprise. “That’s so fucking hot!” Lust fills her eyes.
My cheeks go red. “Really, you think so?”
She bites her lip and nods. “Oh yeah, very sexy.”
Felicity lets out a mock sigh and shakes her head. “You're in for it now, Emmy. Tattoos are Charlie’s number one weakness!”
My cheeks burn even more. I look back at Charlie and she shamelessly nods her head, agreeing to what Felicity just said. “It's true. But don't worry, I'm gonna pull back my horny vibe and chill before I come on too strong and freak you out,” she says, like it's no big deal that she's pretty much admitting that she's sexually attracted to me. She really is a blunt one, isn't she? I like it.
“Anyways,” I say, a little flustered by her words. “Last week, I broke into the shop in the middle of the night. I knew the combo to the safe, and I was just planning on borrowing a little bit. Just enough to pay the heat bill and get some food that I could hide for myself but that plan went up in flames. What I didn't know was that the owners had just installed a new security system that day. Let’s just say, it did its job well!” I let out a sad laugh. “So, after running from the police and getting arrested, I was given a choice. Juvie or here. I'd like to think that I picked the more logical choice.”
“Damn girl, you've had an exciting week!” Felicity comments, trying to lighten the mood. “Since you told us why you're here, I may as well tell you my story. It’s not as dramatic as yours but...” she shrugs.
“Let’s just say, I'm in here for hacking. I kinda, maybe, sorta hacked into my school’s system and may have changed the grades of every person who was bullying me. I also may have hacked into a few of the male teachers’ bank accounts and signed them up for a three-year subscription for a magazine called Kinky Fetishes.”
I look at her, blinking for a moment before I burst out laughing. “You didn't?! That’s hilarious!”
Charlie’s laughing too. “Even though I've already heard the story before, it’s still funny as fuck!”
“They judged me a lot because of my looks, and they accused me of having someone else do my work for me because they thought there was no way I could be passing all their classes with flying colors. The truth is, I’m just a fucking genius!” she says with a wink.
I start laughing again. “That’s so awesome!”
Felicity leans back in her chair, arms crossed, looking proud of herself and grinning.
I look over at Charlie. “What about you?”
“Well, my parents are selfish assholes and despite me telling them on more than one occasion that I am very much gay, they set up an arranged marriage anyway. They cared more about money and their company’s image than their own child. I had enough, so on the night of my engagement party to a guy I’d never even met before, I blew up my dad's car. He loved that thing more than me.
“I told them that if they didn't accept me for who I am, I'd keep acting out. So their reply was sending me here. They didn't want to see me for who I am and didn't want to deal with me anymore. But I'm okay with that because being here allows me to be who I've always wanted to be. So, it worked out in the end.” She smiles up at me. She really does look okay with it.
"Alright, peeps, let's blow this popsicle stand,” Charlie says. “We should go ask Mr. T if it's cool that Felicity stays with us for the rest of the day.”
"Sweet! Let’s go!" Felicity says as she jumps up out of her chair.
AFTER FELICITY GETS permission to stay with Charlie and me, we go up to our room and hang out for the rest of the day. We eat Charlie's junk food stash and watch a few scary movies.
Around midnight, both girls are asleep. I lay in my bed, unable to shut my brain off as I think about my last night I had with Oliver. The night that changed everything between us. Seeing him today brought everything back full force. Everything I worked so hard to push down is rushing to the surface.
We had been best friends since the first day of kindergarten. Since some little snot-nosed punk of a boy came up to me, making fun of me for where I lived. Then out of nowhere came this little blonde, shaggy haired boy. He walked right up to the kid, cocked his fist back, and nailed him right in the eye. As the punk laid on the ground crying, Oliver started yelling at him that he also lived in a trailer park and, if he had a problem with it, he would punch him in the face again.
Turns out it was the same trailer park I lived in.
That was when our special bond took hold. He became my protector. My safe place. Life always felt right when I was with him. Like he was my home.
Until three years ago that is, when he destroyed my heart and soul, leaving me in so many pieces that I have yet to put them all back together fully.
Up until that moment, everything was amazing. He would always come and sneak me out of my house, and we would spend hours at the park just being together.
In 9th grade, he started changing. We started to hang out less, and he skipped more days of school than he went. When I did see him at school, he was hanging around with some bad people.
By the end of the school year, he was expelled for selling drugs. The level of betrayal was suffocating, because he of all people knew what drugs were doing to our mothers.
A week later, he showed up at my house. He just stood there, staring at me with a blank look. When he nodded his head for me to follow him, curiosity got the better of me so I did.
I missed him.
I had so many questions and things I wanted to say.
I needed answers.
We went to our special spot, an abandoned mini golf course in the middle of the woods.
Following him up on the hill next to the course, we sat in silence for what felt like hours. Every time I tried to speak, my mouth went dry. I was too nervous about what his explanation would be.
As the sun was starting to set, he turned to me and looked into my eyes. His held so many emotions and unsaid words.
Leaning forward, he placed his forehead on mine. He closed his eyes and I did the same, soaking in the feeling of his skin against mine.
Then, he kissed me. Excitement filled my whole body.
My best friend, the guy I had been in love with for years, was finally kissing me. This was my first kiss, and it felt right that it was with him.
His lips were so soft and warm.
I let out a small moan of pleasure and he took that as an opening to deepen our kiss.
Our tongues tangled together and he lowered me back on the ground. As the kiss became more intense, his hands started roaming my body.
Every place he touched lit up like fireworks.
His hands slid down my chest before stopping at my hips.
When he slipped his hand up my dress and started removing my underwear, I knew what was going to happen next.
I knew I was about to lose my virginity to the only guy I had ever loved.
All this was happening so fast and out of nowhere, but I was so caught up in the moment, loving that I was finally able to touch and kiss him, that I couldn’t think straight so I just let it happen. I wanted this to happen.
He undid his pants and took himself out. Not wasting any time before he entered me, taking my innocence for himself.
It hurt a lot. I had to hold back my tears, not wanting to ruin the moment.
But the pain slowly turned to pleasure like I have never felt before.
He started going faster and everything intensified. I felt like I was ready to explode.
Then, before that could happen, it was over.
He let out a grunt as he finished and immediately pulled out of me.
I blinked up at the night sky as I laid there, feeling so confused. What the fuck just happened? That's it? It’s over?
He got up and tucked himself back into his pants, not making any eye contact, not saying a single word.
He just turned around and walked back the way we came, leaving me there by myself, feeling vulnerable and in shock.
I fixed my dress and sat there, unable to move.
Was this for real?
Did he just fuck me outside, taking something I’ve been saving for a special moment like it meant nothing?!
I felt dirty and used.
Tears started to fall down my cheeks, as I felt what he left behind between my legs start to drip down my thighs. He didn’t even use a condom!
I thought he cared for me, but he was nothing but a monster.
What kind of best friend does something like that?!
I got up and walked home, feeling numb and empty. That was the last time I saw him, until today.
Now, lying in my bed, the tears I held in all day start to run down my cheeks and onto my pillow. Rolling over onto my side and into the fetal position, I finally allow myself to mourn the girl I once was.
The girl I should have been.
Crying myself to sleep for the first time in years.